The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

Pass Debuchy To The Left Hand Side. For Three Months…

Not so chipper at present…

Afternoon, you gorgeous bunch of scallywags.

Having not been able to post recently due to limited time and other ‘exploits’ taking precedence, it is with glorious fanfare I return to your screens – I should note that those ‘exploits’ aren’t quite as saucy or debauched as it might imply.

Since that howler in Germany on Tuesday night, we’ve had a lovely little 3-0 victory over the course of a weekend that saw great hilarity. Amongst many results that favoured us, my personal highlight was the ‘Gaalacticos’ quite wonderfully blowing a 2 goal lead away at Leicester.

All is fine and dandy at the moment with Arsenal. And then comes a little bit of bad news, welcomed like I’d imagine I would an ageing prowler brandishing frozen trout with a menacing glare (That’s not welcome at all, just to clarify). Continue reading

Arsenal. Muck. Cack. Pants. Balderdash. Rubbish Performance.

Even Klopp was surprised at how pants Arsenal played…

Morning, folks.

It’s hard to know where to begin. I’ve had sufficient time to digest the horrors before my eyes last night, to make sense of the madness, yet I find myself coming back to the phrase that erupted from my lips when the final whistle blew:

F*ck off, Arsenal.

It was, in no uncertain terms, a woefully inept performance. I did consider singling out Mikel Arteta for some scathing criticism as I thought he was uncharted levels of sh*t-awful, but that wouldn’t be particularly fair as his was far from the only poor display. Collectively, we simply didn’t turn up and allowed a Dortmund side some distance from their strongest to waltz through our midfield and defence seemingly at their leisure.  Continue reading

Borussia Dortmund Predicted Starting XI, Thoughts and Stuff.

None of this nonsense tonight please.

Morning, folks.

I might be in the minority, but the Champions League has lost a little of it’s appeal in my eyes. As we head into what feels like an annual fixture with Borussia Dortmund, I’m not as excited as I feel I should be.

That’s mostly down to the fact the competition has long been set up to ensure the progress of all the big teams. Understandable, I guess, in terms of revenue, however, it removes that sense of romance and unpredictability.

Of course, my lack of enthusiasm is probably down to the manner in which Arsenal’s campaigns invariably pan out; start the group well, qualify, field weakened team in remaining group games, finish 2nd, play European giant in last 16, go out.

Tonight we travel to Germany with real defensive problems. Debuchy is out for somewhere in the region of 2 months (allegedly – no confirmation yet), Monreal hasn’t travelled due to a back issue and Chambers is doubtful with tonsillitis. Continue reading

Debuchy Could Be Out For Months.

Could be missing for sometime…

Morning,. folks.

Quick one today, as it’s my day off and I fully intend to indulge in a few choice pursuits – mostly hedonistic, but nothing sordid and ungentlemanly. I am, after all, a respectable English gentleman. Kinda…

The news today centres entirely around Mathieu Debuchy’s injury and the defensive pickle we’re left in. The early rumblings, albeit unconfirmed, universally agree the injury Debuchy sustained on Saturday is a serious one, the only variation is the duration he’s set to face only the sidelines – the average guess seems to be between 2-3 months, which is a huge blow if true.

Unless he makes a miraculously recovery or the severity of his injury defies all expectation we are looking at the alarming possibility of playing all 3 of our senior centre backs (Koscielny, Mertesacker, Chambers) at the same time with little or no cover should any join Debuchy is the medical centre.  Continue reading

Wilshere and Alexis Impress, Arsenal Draw, Ozil Gets Abuse.

Mesut greats the haters.

Morning, folks.

That was a very good game of football we witnessed yesterday. It ebbed, it flowed, chances were created, goals were scored. Had I been watching from a neutral’s perspective, I would have enjoyed it immensely.

Of course, I’m an Arsenal fan so I enjoyed certain moments of the game immeasurably, only to be left ruing blunders and avoidable concessions in others. Whilst 2-2 against a side of City’s calibre isn’t anything remotely like a terrible result, I can’t help feeling we could have gotten better. That said; City’s supporters could quite easily make the same claim, and taking everything into account a draw was a fair outcome.

By now, you’ll have all seen at least highlights of the game, read a report or have been told what happens so a brief recollection of the main events strikes me as a little pointless (I never report the game’s moments, but feel the need to explain why on occasion.). Instead, I shall discuss a few of the players that received praise/abuse.  Continue reading

Manchester City Starting XI (Predicted), Thoughts And News.

Things happen…

Morning, all

Last season’s performances have made me dread 12:45 kick-offs. For whatever reason, Arsenal played some enormous games occupying the top spot at that time and proceeded to fabulously capitulate. I shan’t go in any detail. Like me, I’m sure the horrors witnessed during those away trips is burnt into your mind for all of time.

For that reason, amongst others, I’m rather glad today’s match is at the Emirates. Not just because we’ll have our vociferous home support to act as the much-fabled ’12th man’, but because the levels of terror rumbling inside my midriff is considerably less than it would be had Arsenal been travelling.

Either way, though, today is a stern test of our credentials. On paper, I consider City to have the strongest squad in the league – you could argue that Chelsea aren’t a million miles behind, but I’d sooner wallow in my own sh*t for a fortnight than offer those dubious scumbags any form of credit.  Continue reading

The Superhuman Powers Of Abou Diaby.

Abou at his imperious best.

Morning, folks.

Surprisingly, my Sky Sports package arrived promptly yesterday. I had initially assumed I’d be spending the morning/afternoon pacing the house waiting for the technician to turn up, only for the event to occur at the very last available moment.

It was a pleasant occurrence, and being afforded the luxury of all those delicious sports channels in HD allowed me to watch last nights U21s game between Aston Villa and Arsenal at Villa Park.

From a first team perspective, Abou Diaby completing 90 minutes was significant. We’ve all witnessed countless false dawns with Abou over the years. Undoubtedly a player of great, great talent, his anatomy has proven as reliable as a wheelchair made of cheese. Continue reading