10 reasons Arsene didn’t make a substitute this evening.

“Whoopsie. My bad…”

Evening, all.

I’ve just finished penning/keying tomorrow’s review which you’ll all be able to read… well… tomorrow. As I’m wide awake and looking for ways to entertain myself that don’t involve turning the lights down and looking at porn, I’ve devised this special list of reasons I came up with to explain Arsene’s lack of any substitutes during the insipid 0-0 draw with Mourinho’s hacky little reprobates.

Here they are (It’s late, I’m in the state of silly delirium I occasionally get in, so this list will not be sensible):

  1. Temporary senility. Arsene is getting on in years, we mustn’t forget that.
  2. The subs had all been naughty, and were grounded.
  3. All 5 players will feature at West Ham
  4. He was so angry with Mike Dean, he forgot.
  5. Allowing Flamini on the pitch would have resulted in a red card and two murders.
  6. He made a bet with a Chinese syndicate and won a fortune.
  7. Arsenal blogger Dave Seager stole his pyjamas
  8. He wanted to personally upset everyone on Twitter before Christmas
  9. He simply couldn’t be arsed.
  10. There was a plan to make the customary substitute on 69 minutes, but Mourinho’s dour tactics put Arsene into a trance and the minutes passed like hours, his strength to continue was sapped and he sat depressed on the bench unable to function. The marvels of modern medicine thankfully have allowed him to make a full recovery.

Or perhaps there was a good reason we all don’t know about. It is possible, right? It’s not like Arsene to do something as bizarre without good reason, so we ought afford him the benefit of the doubt, shouldn’t we? No? More abuse for little or no good reason?

Wonderful… I shall look forward to that.

In the meantime, post a comment. Why do you think he made the choice not to introduce fresh legs into the game? Let me know what you think. I probably shouldn’t post this. It’s a bit stupid…

Oh, f**k it.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

13 Comments

  1. Kuyat

    1 – Wenger overthink until the fulltime whistle.
    2 – Wenger want Famini, Cazorla and Bentdner to take a bath with the rain from the pitch side
    3 – Wenger frustrated because can’t zip his silly sweater until he can’t stand and call for change

    Reply
    1. Ray Mathews Odanga

      Punk.

      Reply
  2. Tone

    The subs an was in his inside pocket and he couldn’t undo the zip

    Reply
  3. Tyson

    Maybe He Was Keeping All The Players Fresh So They Had Plenty Of Energy To First Chase Down Mike Dean And Then Perform Unspeakable Acts Of Torture On Him Like Make Him Watch Chelsea On An Unending Loop For The Rest Of Time

    Reply
    1. fazjac

      Tyson,
      that’s a good reason and just form of repayment.

      Reply
  4. Admir

    I honestly hoped that Flamini would have entered the pitch and broken Bane Ivanović to pieces for that assault on Özil.

    Reply
  5. Amew

    Wenger was frozen until he thought for subbing Fabianski for Giroud.

    Reply
  6. Veer

    I found this on Arseblog:
    Asked why he didn’t make any subs, he said, “Because I had plenty of offensive players on the pitch and we were in the need to attack.
    “I had Walcott, I had Ramsey, I had Ozil, I had Giroud, I had Rosicky, and because we didn’t play for nine days none of them looked really jaded.
    “That’s why … I felt we had the balance defensively and we had four or five offensive players on the pitch, let’s continue to do that. And we had the chances, of course. When you don’t score you don’t score.”

    Reply
  7. mohamed aziz

    He forgot he had any players behind him.why did he change his coat fabiansky was wearing it

    Reply
  8. Francis Angrey

    He had confidence in the 11 that started and ended the game. Next time, he might do better.

    Reply
  9. charming

    He was having a reverie and was perplexed at Stoke playing in blue…

    Reply
    1. fazjac

      lol, another good reason

      Reply
  10. YS

    Wenger was depressed and he wasn’t sure who to change due to pressure and I could see a sense in that as the saying goes if you do not know what to say then be quite.
    Absolutely there was need have changes but frustration can make the worst, the answer to sign a striker not necessarily world class but experience for two years only, the like of Ox, young ones will then be available but for now yes.
    Happy new Year.
    Love Arsenal the goners.

    Reply

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