£25m Vidal, £50m Ramsey, Rosicky Stays And Beware The Fluff Serpent.

 

Grinning idiots…

Afternoon, folks.

This is the first post I’ve scribed from an iPad. Check me out; all fu*king fancy-pants product dropping like a unknown blogging version of Michael Bay. You’ll also have to excuse the indulgent picture of my girlfriend and me above. It’s the only one currently stored within my memory and I’m unsure how to import something a touch more pertinent. Truthfully, I’ve no inclination to try and it’s a decent picture of me. Aren’t I beautiful? Don’t answer that…

You can tell the summer is very much upon us. How? Simple; what was once an online community obssesed with picking apart performances and player ability has suddenly transformed. From the darkness obscured by competitive football has emerged the dreaded ITK, a hideous two-headed serpent whose central preoccupation is to fill the minds of the unsuspecting with giddying rumour.

Between now and the close of the transfer window in August, you can expect an onslaught of mendacious dross. It’ll be unrelenting, aching, hideous poppycock and I’m ashamed to admit there is a little part of me that enjoys it. I like to dream, I enjoy the odd fantasy away from the chores of daily life. When it comes to my beloved Arsenal, my face beams when I slip into my own world to begin picturing a player strutting his proverbial on the Emirates turf.

Arturo Vidal of Juventus is exactly that type of player. For some time I’ve admired the current Juve midfield – a formidable unit boasting the talents of Pirlo, Marchisio and Pogba alongside the combative enthusiasm of Vidal. Some less-than reputable sites (I won’t link to them) have taken to social media confidently proclaiming a deal has been struck between Arsenal and Juventus that will see Vidal head to North London for the paltry sum of 25 million Earth pounds.

Of course, it’s epic bollocks. Totally fabricated sh*te written purely to bait web browsers into clicking. We all know full well the story is about as likely to come true as I am to win a punching competition with Floyd Mayweather. Yet, I’m talking about it – even using a bit of a ‘baity’ title in this post. I guess I’m just as much a sucker as the rest of you.

Elsewhere, that bastion of truth and decency, The Sun, (I’m not linking to them either) claims Barcelona aim to bid big – £50m big – for Aaron Ramsey. That’ll be quite a coup for a Club operating under a transfer embargo. Whilst I don’t doubt for a second the army of corrupt bureaucrats working in the offices of Camp Nou will find a way to sleaze and slime out of that ruling, I don’t think they’ll be getting Ramsey. Quite frankly, they can fu*k off and die somewhere remote and treacherous.

In news that is both true and glorious (I would link here, but I can’t figure out how to do it on this bloody thing), our favourite Czech playmaker will be at Arsenal for another year. Inexplicably some folk aren’t at all pleased by this, claiming he’s a waste of a squad space. I politely suggest those folk lay off whatever potent hallucinogenic drugs they’ve dabbled with and realise Tomas Rosicky has plenty to offer and being able to call on his services is an extremely good thing.

Right, that’s all for today folks. The comments are below. Use ’em. I’ll be back soon. Until then, and as always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

13 Comments

  1. Paul " The Goon" Angus

    Always a pleasure to read your blogs. you reprove that time honoured fact that sarcasm “from the lips of gooners of course” Is the highest form a whit.

    Reply
  2. Simon

    That’s really interesting James. Btw do you have more pictures of your girlfriend? Preferably without you or clothes?

    Reply
    1. James 'Raul' Stokes (Post author)

      @Simon: I’ve got plenty. Nice of you to ask 🙂

      Reply
  3. debo

    What a waste of 2mins of my life i can never get back! Unbelievable garbage!

    Reply
    1. James 'Raul' Stokes (Post author)

      Debo: You’re welcome.

      Reply
  4. Simon

    Dear James, I agree Vidal is likely just a made-up story etc etc. But, regarding your girlfriend, sharing IS caring!

    Reply
    1. James 'Raul' Stokes (Post author)

      @Simon: Maybe you should try getting your own instead of asking strangers on the Internet to share pictures of theirs 🙂

      Reply
      1. Simon

        You might have a point! Oh what have I become, oh, I am so ashamed. So very, very … oh my god I’ve got a hard on! Only kidding around: I’m happily married. She looks nice, no offence meant. Love reading your stuff.

        Reply
        1. James 'Raul' Stokes (Post author)

          @Simon: None taken. Thanks for reading (you beautiful bastard)!

          Reply
  5. Midoki

    As a fellow gunner I do feel I need to raise a couple points which may help you go deeper into this.

    Vidal has 2 years remainding on his contract, not the longest time remainding.

    £25 Million may not sound like much but how about 35Million Euros? The same figure of Euros we paid for Alexis. Not so paultry now is it, you forgot to take exchange rate into consideration and the pound has become stronger since our general election.

    Vidal can play the holding role while offering an attacking threat from that pos against ‘lesser’ teams, something which Coq had difficulty with. We could be letting Arteta and Flamini go, Diaby appears to be going onto a pay as you play contract so thats 3 CM we will be losing, we do not need 3 replacements, we need 1 quality replacement to add to the wealth we currently have in CM.

    Vidal is currently on 5mil EUROS a year, not pounds 😉 this means he is on about 3.5million per year or just under £69000 a week… Arsenal can double that for a player of Vidals quality.

    Does Vidal want to play with Alexis?
    Would he be interested in a pay rise?

    I’m not saying there is truth to this rumor but their have been rumors in the past which turned out to be correct, this wouldn’t be the 1st and as such shouldn’t be so easily dismissed. It is worth keeping an eye on.

    Reply
  6. Simon

    Midoki, I think it might well be smart to buy a different kind of DM (to Coq) too. Him or Kondogbia. Schneiderlin also plays centrally. That way we get to try different shapes as you say against different teams as well as providing competition. I’d see that as the priority upfront too – variety – : we don’t have a goalscorer like Reus for example. I am surprised though that you have nothing to say about the important issue of James’ girfriend.

    Reply
  7. Admir

    The whole story about Vidal is bollocks. It’s been reported at some stupid Italian web-site that has similar name to much more reliable one. Vidal said that he would stay in Juventus forever only two days ago. Plus, 25 million pounds is enough for Lallana. For one of the most versatile players in Europe who happens to be a world-class one (I added this in order not to confuse Vidal with Milner) nothing below 35 million pounds is realistic.

    Speaking of Rambo, he has stated once that it would be hard to refuse an offer from Barcelona or Real Madrid.

    Reply
  8. Ray from Norfolk, Virginia

    Raul,
    Is this a baby away Arsenal jersey? Is she expecting?
    By the way, you almost look as great as she does. Almost…

    Reply

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