This is the first post I’ve scribed from an iPad. Check me out; all fu*king fancy-pants product dropping like a unknown blogging version of Michael Bay. You’ll also have to excuse the indulgent picture of my girlfriend and me above. It’s the only one currently stored within my memory and I’m unsure how to import something a touch more pertinent. Truthfully, I’ve no inclination to try and it’s a decent picture of me. Aren’t I beautiful? Don’t answer that…
You can tell the summer is very much upon us. How? Simple; what was once an online community obssesed with picking apart performances and player ability has suddenly transformed. From the darkness obscured by competitive football has emerged the dreaded ITK, a hideous two-headed serpent whose central preoccupation is to fill the minds of the unsuspecting with giddying rumour.
Between now and the close of the transfer window in August, you can expect an onslaught of mendacious dross. It’ll be unrelenting, aching, hideous poppycock and I’m ashamed to admit there is a little part of me that enjoys it. I like to dream, I enjoy the odd fantasy away from the chores of daily life. When it comes to my beloved Arsenal, my face beams when I slip into my own world to begin picturing a player strutting his proverbial on the Emirates turf.
Arturo Vidal of Juventus is exactly that type of player. For some time I’ve admired the current Juve midfield – a formidable unit boasting the talents of Pirlo, Marchisio and Pogba alongside the combative enthusiasm of Vidal. Some less-than reputable sites (I won’t link to them) have taken to social media confidently proclaiming a deal has been struck between Arsenal and Juventus that will see Vidal head to North London for the paltry sum of 25 million Earth pounds.
Of course, it’s epic bollocks. Totally fabricated sh*te written purely to bait web browsers into clicking. We all know full well the story is about as likely to come true as I am to win a punching competition with Floyd Mayweather. Yet, I’m talking about it – even using a bit of a ‘baity’ title in this post. I guess I’m just as much a sucker as the rest of you.
Elsewhere, that bastion of truth and decency, The Sun, (I’m not linking to them either) claims Barcelona aim to bid big – £50m big – for Aaron Ramsey. That’ll be quite a coup for a Club operating under a transfer embargo. Whilst I don’t doubt for a second the army of corrupt bureaucrats working in the offices of Camp Nou will find a way to sleaze and slime out of that ruling, I don’t think they’ll be getting Ramsey. Quite frankly, they can fu*k off and die somewhere remote and treacherous.
In news that is both true and glorious (I would link here, but I can’t figure out how to do it on this bloody thing), our favourite Czech playmaker will be at Arsenal for another year. Inexplicably some folk aren’t at all pleased by this, claiming he’s a waste of a squad space. I politely suggest those folk lay off whatever potent hallucinogenic drugs they’ve dabbled with and realise Tomas Rosicky has plenty to offer and being able to call on his services is an extremely good thing.
Right, that’s all for today folks. The comments are below. Use ’em. I’ll be back soon. Until then, and as always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.