Arsenal are “not close to signing anyone”… Uh-oh.

THIS! IS! Not really what we were expecting, Arsenal. Come on now…

Morning folks.

We’ve heard these dreaded words before. Standing in a brightly blooming field of hopes, Arsenal fans have yearned for the glory of shiny new additions to the team. Fingers crossed, and with belief of change in fortune we’ve waited patiently for something to happen. Then Arsene Wenger utters that oh-so familiar phrase mere weeks before the next season starts:

“We work hard but we are not close to signing anybody”

Oh f**k it.

As I type, the news is plastered across social media networks and there’s a full, ugly meltdown occurring. Those folks eagerly awaiting something to latch their depressing mopes on are spewing out hateful dross at a startling rate. Optimists are cowering for their own safety, lest a single utterance of “Arsene knows best” inadvertently starts a full-blown nuclear war.

In short; the Arsenal community has taken leave of it’s senses. And why? Becuase we aren’t close to signing someone. Judging by the reaction, you’d be forgiven for thinking our dapper manager had just taken a sh*t in the centre circle at The Emirates, and then uploaded a video of him doing a Demi Moore with all the money he won’t be spending.

Yet, to say we aren’t close is a typically ‘Arsene’ thing to do. I recall he stated there was no deal for Arteta days before a deal for Arteta materialised. Santi Cazorla’s signing popped up on us out of thin air. Right or wrong, Arsene tends not to conduct his business in the media, and rarely goes into any detail of his plans when quizzed about transfers.

I can understand the frustration. I really can. There are moments I sit behind my desk and ponder to myself whether signing a player is really as complicated as he makes it out to be. Other mangers don’t seem to suffer the same troubles. We’ve been sold a promise of big name additions, and we’d like to see that promise kept. All that I understand completely.

What I consider peculiar is how eager some supporters are to have something to blurt out vitriol toward. As it stands, we have made one signing – a young Frenchman who is as far removed from a marquee acquisition as can be. There is still plenty of time for more. Granted, it does appear that we are dithering to the point of madness, but there’s no need to frantically push the panic button quite yet.

Incidentally, on the subject of dithering; what exactly does Dick Law do? It doesn’t appear to be anything of note. By all accounts he has the negotiating skills of an indecisive herring. And a blind one, to boot. I’ve never even seen the man. Perhaps he’s a myth, an enigma created by the board to make us think there’s an elite man on the case, when in reality he doesn’t exist. Alternatively, he could well be some bimblingly incompetent octogenarian with a gammy hip and a debilitating case of Alzheimer’s:

– “Gonzalo who? Eh? What? Have you got my laundry, Timothy? I want some pudding”

I’m getting off topic. Where was I?  Oh yeah – transfer stuff. Actually, to tell the truth, I’ve stopped writing for a moment, and I’m now dancing about the house to this little gem of a song by Above The Law.

Digressions, digressions.. .

There are still 4 weeks until the season starts. In an ideal world, Arsenal fans would be whipped into a frenzy of expectation by the 3-4 world class players already purchased in plenty of time. As I’m sure you are aware, we do not live in a perfect world. But, we do live in a world where we can be surprised from time to time.

Now’s not the time for rampaging bouts of negativity. Save those for the moment something awful happens and there is little else to do. If, come the close of the transfer window, we haven’t signed a few hot-shots, then it’s probably a good time to go ballistic and smash something up. Okay – not the last part, I don’t especially want to be held responsible for property damage.

Until that occurs, it’s pointless getting all aggressive and blurty. This time of the years is maddening to say the least. Suffocating clouds of bullsh*t block out the few rays of truth out there, and it’s best to avoid the whole thing altogether. It’s better for your health.

I’m still going to keep the faith, even if it’s being tested on a daily basis.

Lastly, I should mention yesterdays friendly (I had forgotten, in all honesty). I watched the game on Arsenal Player, and whilst it was a fairly drab affair, there were a few moments to get excited about. Olivier Giroud, the handsome devil, scored a hat-trick, our forward play looked good, and the cameo from young Gedion Zalalem had even the most respected of website owners saying jarringly inappropriate things:

Okay, Mean. Steady on, sir…

That’s all for today, folks. I hope you’ll take whatever may be rattling around your mind and feverishly scribe those thoughts in the handy comments section below. Do you think we’ll end up with Sanogo and Diaby as the new signings, or does your faith of big incomings remain intact? Let me know.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

21 Comments

  1. Galway Gooner

    If we go into the season with no one to show as new other than some unheard of French kid and the “like a new signing” Diaby then I think that the fans will turn very quickly on Wenger and the board.
    We’ve been talking all summer about how we have loads of cash and can afford this player or that player and yet we still continue to sit on or hands for fear of having to actually make a decision. I honestly thought that this summer would be different but I am beginning to seriously wonder now….

    Reply
  2. Craigo

    Hahahah. COYS

    Reply
    1. James 'Raul' Stokes (Post author)

      I believe the correct response to that would be “FOYS”.

      Reply
  3. Arseniel

    Disgusting to have haters in your own family. Why don’t you become of yid armchair supporter coz you sure as hell ain’t an arsenal fan neither is the arsehole who made the first comment. Just fcuking chill out and see what happens by the end of the window coz there’s fuck all to moan about at this stage

    Reply
    1. James 'Raul' Stokes (Post author)

      Jesus…

      Try actually reading what I’ve written before you contribute. It does help.

      Reply
  4. luke

    Santi cazorlas deal rumbled on a long time. For me wenger is in the process of fucking it once again. Fighting for 4th with poxy clubs like apurs is a disgrace and tghe longer time rumbles on, the more likely it happpens again

    Reply
  5. arsenal-steve

    Seems Arseniel who speaks of ‘haters’, is actually full of hate. His racist comment was not needed whatsoever. Sad ‘human being’. Galway Gooner is right, not only has there been no activity, there has also been no attempt to placate the fans with reassurances, as Brendan Rogers, did for the Liverpool fans. There is a big corporate tour of Asia to get fans in the east, but a the real fans who pay their money to watch games and who effectively pay Wengers wages.have been completely ignored.

    Reply
  6. DarlingbudsofArse

    Check all my comments where I have called Wenger Pinocchio in some and how his nose grows longer with each lie told! What Wenger and the board do not realise is that, yes, they may be able to fool a few people (or idiots I choose to call these fans) at any given point in time, but they will not be able to fool all fans at all times! I hate their guts hence my not renewing my season ticket! They can go to hell; the whole lot of them.

    Reply
  7. lance

    armchair gooner we need a defensive midfielder , striker and goalkeeper (maybe we can get away without a keeper) to have a squad to compete..city have added a lot of strength , chelsea are in the process of making buys they tried for rooney and moyes is showing intent…if we dont buy we gonna struggle big time.

    Reply
    1. James 'Raul' Stokes (Post author)

      I can’t disagree with any of that. There’s still time left. Wait and see what happens.

      Reply
  8. lance

    darlindbudsofarse…i wish there were more real fans like you
    this club has gone too far taken us for granted.

    Reply
  9. DarlingbudsofArse

    To you Mr Arseniel, you are talking garbage. Family members have fueds and even bloodbaths. We have every right to criticise those idiots running our club. I would gladly support them and I’m sure most Arsenal fans if they were to come clean and say to us, ”we have a talented squad and will add to it if Wenger sees fit but if we do not add this summer we will review our position come January and move on from there”. I can live with this than promising us £70M of spend with nothing to show for it this late on. Liars, the whole bunch of them! You and all!!!

    Reply
  10. DarlingbudsofArse

    Thank you Lance! I am seething with rage at all their lies without thinking twice what they are doing to us fans.

    Reply
  11. Mickey Finn

    Except for the use of ‘yid’, I’m all with Arseniel… Not close to signing anybody is exactly what I would tell the media if I was in the middle of negotiations.

    Remember, that there are still almost 50 days left of the silly season…

    The ‘idiots’ who are running the club have been lauded by those in the know, like one Gary Neville.

    Reply
    1. James 'Raul' Stokes (Post author)

      There’s an immeasurably more sensible comment.

      Reply
  12. worried gooner

    Higuain, Fellani and Krul would do nicely. Be nice if we were really in for them and that any 2 of these 3 would be great news to all the fans!

    Reply
  13. Kelly

    Lets do something different for a change…lets not sign 1 more freaking soul and win with what we have already. Call me crazy but if there was a way to prove a point to the rest of the world it would be awesome way to go about it. I’m really glad pre-season has started … distracts me from the useless news there is about transfers.

    Reply
  14. Chigooner

    I can understand the frustrations of Gooners who are screaming bloody murder. It’s not easy listening to the same promises every summer only to be let down. Personally, until I see some actual signings I won’t hold out any hopes of anything happening. The summer farce actually now has structure to it. We know the stages of what is going to unfold and Arsene just kicked us into the next stage with his statement yesterday.

    One thing that is going to be different this year is that if we start the season without any new major signing and immediately start losing games there is going to be a rebellion the magnitude of which has never been seen at Arsenal before.

    Things are going to happen this year, good or bad, will depend on the AFC.

    Reply
  15. cockofthesouth

    It’s definitely make or break now. The pressure has been exerted by Ivan, and Arsene has to respond. His best players are lining up behind Gazidis: “We need a big signing; it means so much” (paraphrase). I feel like a man watching a slo-mo replay of a disaster – the commentator triggering clues of the impending carnage, the bottom-of stomach sense of impending smashed flesh and bones.
    I love Arsene and always have, but if this summer Arsenal doesn’t deliver us a hero I don’t know what I’ll do. Probably just go down the pub for 4 hours. It’s not really that important is it.
    We love you Arsenal, we do!

    Reply
  16. Veer

    We’re definetly gonna get a GK with mannone gone, and a CB with Vermalean injured, and hopefully we could get a DM and another Striker (Suarez would be amazing)

    Reply
  17. Danny

    I want a big signing as much as the next fan, but honestly all the team needs to do is play the whole season like they did at the end of last and we’ll have won the league

    Reply

Leave a comment. Go on, you know you wanna...