I currently have a nasty stomach bug. Like any grown man worth his salt, I intend to use every avenue available to complain about it until I get some sympathy. Soldier on bravely? That’s not the gentleman’s way!
Truth be told; I’m writing this to you a haggard, pale figure far removed from my previously glorious self. If you can image the state you’d be in having left a room in which you’d been forced to watch Gervinho’s miss against Bradford on loop, suffered repeated blows to the head and refused the sweet relief of sleep for 3 days, then you can picture the sorry sight behind the keyboard at present.
But that’s enough moaning. You good folks come here for nuggets of Arsenal information, and not to be regaled with insipid tales of my personal life. Although, Daniel Cowan and the Goonersphere folks regularly plead with me to include some jarring recollections of my spicier carnal adventures, the vicarious swines… That’s another story entirely.
The main news I’ve come across that isn’t just another regurgitated transfer rumour is reports of Arsene Wenger soon being offered a brand new 3 year contract. I can imagine that revalation will be received two ways:
- AKBs the world over will unite in harmonious song, sacrificing their elderly relatives and collectable match-day programmes to ornamental statues of Arsene they’ve made of cheese. They will dance the night away around a campfire, entirely naked and howling at each other.
- WOBs will get so angry, the phrase “8 years without a trophy” will be spat with such fire and brimstone that anything within a 12 metre radius will crumble to ash. Their general penmanship and grammatical prudence will be affected irrevocably, leaving the only sentence they are able to produce: “arsene is da bad man of d arsenal and must be died today or else no trophy for d life of man. die wenga die wenga“
I think my medication might be kicking in a little.
In all seriousness, I’ve always stated I stand firmly between those two ridiculous extremes of opinion. I do not hail Arsene as an infallible apotheosis of modern man, no more than I think he is responsible for every single bad thing that occurs to Arsenal. He is a great, great man who’s accomplishments for Arsenal see his place in the Club’s history rightfully guaranteed.
But he is not beyond reproach, and mistakes have been made on numerous occasions he, and he alone, is responsible for. I believe in Arsene, and I see no better man to lead us forward. With the correct resources at his disposal, he can bring glory to Arsenal. It’s just the occasional bouts of stubbornness and vanity that cloud his judgement. Like all of us; no one is perfect.
If he signs on for a further 3 years, I’ll be delighted. Our policies in the transfer market look top be changing for the better, and things look brighter than they have for a while during this time of year.
And with that babble out of the way, I’ll end matters here. Seriously – what the f**k am I talking about today? I think it’s best if I hand things over to you, the wonderful peruser:
Do you want Arsene Wenger to sign a new contract?
Let me know your thoughts on the matter in the splendidly placed comments section. And be civil; I don’t want to mediate a full-blown AKB vs WOB skirmish. There’s too much naughty language in those for my liking. I’m a very sensitive individual.
As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.