The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

Arteta doubtful for Newcastle, more new kit pictures and thoughts ahead of the weekend.

Gervinho looked on in awe as Mikel managed to kick a ball towards that huge, scary rectangular thing with a net.

Morning Goonery boys ‘n’ girls.

Friday seems to consistently throw up bad news. Today is no different. Mikel Arteta’s solid and diligent performances in midfield are rightly credited as being the strength of our recent resolve. Like Gilberto Silva, he is often an unsung hero; his unflashy yet imperative work often goes unnoticed.

So it’s bloody bad news that our Spanish friend is highly unlikely to take part against Newcastle due to a particularly inconvenient calf problem. Currently he is being assessed by the club’s medical staff – who, I presume, can afford to take 5 minutes away from Abou Diaby – and we should know more about his chances at some point today.

If he does indeed miss out on the trip to St James’ Park, Arsene Wenger will have to decide wether it is worth risking Jack Wilshere from the start of the game. If he doesn’t, I can only assume Cazorla and Rosicky will play centrally with Ramsey doing the mopping-up behind. Giroud will be available having served his suspension, so Podolski will be able to drop back to the left of our attacking triumvirate.

That’s all speculative, however, and we will know a great deal more as the big fixture approaches. And that’s about the entirety of Arsenal stories. There are a few transfer rumours floating around, but nothing worth a mention. Most of what you see is the kind of guff that a certain site (Think; Emmanuel Adebayor is constantly…..) puts up with those irritating titles like,

“Hey!! Click Here! We want you to believe your favourite team are planning a mega, super, awesome, incredible, fantastic, daring, audacious, phenomenal double swoop for two Brazilian footballers that will cost a whopping £400m!! Please click on or site! Please!”

That same feculent rag attempted to take credit for this picture of a rather superb mock-up of what one of our kits might look like when Puma begins their sponsorship in 2014:

Puma and Arsenal: What it could be.

As it was pointed out yesterday on Le Grove, the person actually responsible, and the one that deserves the credit in full for a lovely bit of work is a very talented individual with the Twitter handle, @LAGVILAVA7. If you needed any more proof of the website I shan’t name’s utter abhorrence, then you have it.

And I think that’s were I shall leave it for today. With Sunday’s game approaching fast, I’m starting to feel the occasional burst of nerves, and my morning ablutions are less forgiving than usual. To say we have to win is something of an understaement. Failure to do so, to fall short and finish behind Spurs, to be dumped unceremoniously into the Europa League whilst that mob play with Europe’s elite, is unthinkable to me.

The very thought is about as appealing as attending a sex dungeon with John Terry as your date. In fact, I’m going to cease from mentioning it now, and punch myself repeatedly in the testicles until the resulting agony wipes my memory of this post.

All that is left if for me to point you toward the comments. Although – if you leave one I will have to come back to read it and be reminded of what I’ve said. And that means I’ll have no choice but to repeat the punching-testicles memory wipe. And that means I’ll come back should there be another comment…

This might go on forever. Don’t leave a comment.

As always, thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

Category: News
  • hadh says:

    tha gold sexy kid would buy any day

    May 17, 2013 at 10:06 am
  • Deino says:

    Marouane Chamakh flop from French ligue, Gervinho semi flop from French ligue, & Olivier Giroud well, semi flop from French ligue, now Arsene Wenger goes for Yaya Sanogo from the French ligue again. My question @armchairgooner is, must the striker come from the French ligue? What happened to Germany or Spain? It really baffles me coz the French cocks can’t fuck.

    May 17, 2013 at 11:37 am
    • James 'Raul' Stokes says:

      “the French cocks can’t fuck”.

      Not quite sure how to respond to that. Aren;’t French men notoriously the most proficient when it comes to carnal affairs? Perhaps that’s all a myth.

      I’d agree that the quality in the French league seems to have dropped drastically since the days we’d pick up the likes of Pires and Petit. Personally I think we’ve just made a few bad choices.

      Should we sign Yaya Sanogo, there’s every chance he wont follow the same path.

      May 17, 2013 at 10:28 pm
      • Deino says:

        Yeah James, I should have been specific. I actually meant to say the French cocks he purchased do far, French men are re known for their freaky ways.

        May 17, 2013 at 11:01 pm
  • Mav361 says:

    Absolute class comment about John Terry
    Your right tho the thought of us finishing below them is just unbearable
    If it happens I’m gunna have to find a new job coz I have given it such a Billy Big Bollocks about us always finishing above them every year I won’t be able to show my face in the office again……….ever
    The shame of it will be the end of me
    It’s 00.50 and I can’t fucking sleep thinking about it I just want it over one way or the other

    May 19, 2013 at 12:54 am

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