Arteta warns of complacency. Podolski imminent, or a million miles away.

"Theo, do my eyebrows look weird to you?"

Welcome to the deliciousness of Tuesday morning, folks.

A lot of folks out there have taken to mocking Spurs fans for there ill-advised “mind the gap” attempts at hilarity. Poking fun at their faltering of recent weeks is undoubtedly fun, but it’s also a very risky business. We might be in 3rd place, but we’ve not finished there yet. An awful lot can happen over the course of the remaining 8 matches.

Personally, I’m keeping my gloating until we’ve secured that posistion and the season’s come to a close. Then it’ll be an explosion of torment aimed towards some of those irksome little cretins I have to endure. Until then, I’m just going to wait and see how things pan out.

One person in agreement with me is our Spaniard with the unmovable, immaculate hair. Mikel Areta (birthday wishes for yesterday!) had this to say in a recent interview on the Arsenal Player:

‘If anyone thinks it’s all done now, then they are making a big mistake.

‘We can’t take our foot off the pedal now. We have won seven in a row now, which is very difficult in the Premier League nowadays, and we have done it well, playing some high-tempo football, but there are some tough, tough games coming up in our last eight matches.’

In other news, there has been the obligatory rumblings surrounding what is now becoming akin to watching the final Lord of the Rings movie; the epic and interminable Podolski saga.  Some will have you believe he’s completed a medical, bought a house, settled in London, had a child with a local girl and played 35 times for the reserves. Others are quick to point out that he could simply be postponing his decision until the season’s over – or incase Chelsea throw an obscene amount of cash at him.

It’s all getting a little boring now, isn’t it? Arsene Wenger is understandably coy when pressed for a response by howling journalists, and everything else that swirls around the internet comes from highly dubious ‘sources’. Is it just me, or does everyone seem to have a relative/friend that’s capable of getting all the inside information at a club?

For the record, my mother communicates telepathically with Theo Walcott’s underpants. They’ve informed her Podolski has completed a medical, and that Theo shows the same blasé approach to toilet hygiene as he does with crossing the ball properly when given the time to think.

On that slightly peculiar note, I shall leave you in peace for the day. Thanks for taking a moment to read, you beautiful bastards. The comments are below and don’t forget to follow all my splendid twittering on Twitter  @_ArmchairGooner

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