Arteta’s New Contract, Gabriel Finally Signs And CAPITALS Point The Way.

New signing, bloody awful haircut.

Morning, folks.

During what was a lengthy shift at his workplace yesterday, James grew increasingly weary and begun allowing his mind to wander. Because of this, James took to asking peculiar questions on Twitter to alleviate some of the boredom gainful employment invariably produces and, hopefully, initiate some belly chuckles. It proved succesful. James has a weird sense of humour.

The reason James is referring to himself in the third person is simple; James does it in honour of our newly confirmed signing, Gabriel – James also discovered yesterday that it’s incorrect to use the suffix ‘Paulista’ as that directly refers to his upbringing/team. Thank you to Martijn Stolze for pointing this out to James.

James is going to stop all this foolishness now.

During his first interview on the official Arsenal site, Gabriel himself used the dreaded third person, and in a truly hilarious moment, I’m sure we’ll all agree, I decided to do so myself. Yes – I know it is a work of unadulterated satirical genius…

It’s a good signing at a good price – somewhere between 13m and 15m Euros depending on what you believe. I confess to know very little about the player, but what I’ve heard from those with greater knowledge than myself certainly warms the cockles. Then there’s his appearance, too. It might seem odd, but he immediately strikes me as a defender of Martin Keown’s ilk – rough, rugged and with a mind to f*ck somebody up if they play silly buggers. Diego Costa take note.

I don’t think he’ll be thrown into first team action immediately, but it would appear he’s here to compete for a starting place and not to make up the numbers and be called upon in the event of injury. That can only be a good thing for Arsenal. Competition and pressure to perform is kryptonite to the hideous complacency demon.

Elsewhere, Mikel Arteta has extended his current contract with Arsenal for another year. Many have been elated by this news, others… Well, not so much. If you were to take both of those contrasting opinions and locate a position directly in the middle, you’d find where I am. I rate Arteta, he’s an excellent footballer and a model professional. However, in the humble opinion of yours truly, he is not a defensive midfielder.

Arteta is something of a oddity. He’s an asset to the squad, that I do not deny, but has always struck me as unable to have a preferred position. He doesn’t appear truly comfortable playing in the holding position, lacks the stamina to go from box to box and doesn’t quite have the guile to play in the attacking areas.

That said, I wouldn’t want anyone to assume is see his renewed contract as anything other than a good thing. He’s a good captain and he’s done immeasurably good things to improve team relations. When called upon, he can always be relied upon to perform, but I would personally like to see someone recruited during the summer to take that holding role in our midfield. At this stage I’d even go as far to say I see Coquelin as a better option (assuming he continues to perform at current levels).

I’m sure it’s a subject that’ll be BLOGGED about today by numerous SITES across the INTERNET. See what I did there? That folks, is something of a pet peeve of mine at present. If you click onto any aggregation site you’ll see thousands of outlets utilising capital letters to make titles appear more impacting and important. It’s nothing more than click-baiting silliness.

Do any of these writers actually f*cking talk like that? I doubt it, if they do I imagine their home lives are a touch peculiar. Perhaps Bobby Blogger from Arsenal Town returns home from a hard day at the office and exclaims to his significant other hastily preparing a meal:

DARLING. What is for DINNER this evening? I sincerely hope you’ve prepared my beloved CHICKEN KIEV as I’m absolutely FAMISHED. I’m just going to head UPSTAIRS to change into my EATING TROUSERS and publish a BLOG POST on Arsenal’s GARGANTUAN bid for BRAZILIAN STARLETS (Please RT and share if you like)

It’s rhubarb, folks. Total RHUBARB.

That’s all for today. Please feel free to drop me comment below because it unleashes a warm and fuzzy sensation in my stomach when you talk to me and I get to feel all important. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to begrudge me that.

I’ll be back tomorrow with more stuff.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

2 Comments

  1. Arham

    Arteta has bin very important to us over the years in keeping our bids for top 4, remember the first year he came……besides keeping him is ideal in a coaching sense……and like thomas rosischy on one year deals, he can be a valuable squad member when called upon……..BESIDES remember our dreaded INJURY curse?? when we dont seem to have enough players so much so that u21s have to fill in………its ideal to not let him go

    Reply
  2. Arse Jeff

    Good post. Arteta is rubbish!!!!!

    Reply

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