Awesome new kit, Bendtner’s talks and a little of not a lot.

Arsenal took extreme measures to ensure Bendtner left the club this time.

Morning folks.

First up – have you seen the new kit? It’s bloody lovely, it is. Yellow is Arsenal away from home. Like many a traditionalist, I can do without the range of other colours we’ve had to endure – especially the white one. Even though replica football shirts are now sold at extortionate prices (£60!), there’s every possibility the moths will be rapidly vacating my wallet for this one:

Arsenal away 2013/2014

Right, onto business.

A wiser man than I once stated,

“If you have don’t have anything to say, say nothing”

True words indeed, and words I will offer a derisory scoff and choose to ignore. It’s not my style, folks. Instead, I’ll blather and babble aimlessly about whatever random nonsense happens to be on my mind.

Like lessons I’ve learnt, for example. Recently it was brought to my attention that eating a sandwich whilst operating a car can be considered “driving without due care and attention”. Fancy that. I’d have never known a sandwich, regardless of how delicious, could be a hazard to other roads users if brandished menacingly by yours truly. Perhaps more obvious was realising how ill-advised it is to offer a bite to the Policeman that pulled you over…

Hey, I like to share.

I can sense restlessness growing amongst my readership. Quick James, write something pertinent. This lot look ready to lynch you.

Nicklas Bendtner, he of the ludicrous bracelet range, is said to be entering “final talks” with Eintracht Frankfurt. A statement released yesterday by the German club said:

“On the initiative of the Danish player Nicklas Bendtner and his advisors, final talks have been held today on Tuesday 9, 2013 in Frankfurt between the striker and Eintracht Frankfurt.

“Sports director Bruno Hubner is in close contact with Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger, and the final decision regarding Bendtner should be taken in the next two days.”

*offers consolatory tissue*

There there. Don’t cry. We’ll get through this.

I know it’s hard, probably harder than when Thierry and Patrick left, and there’s going to be a gaping void in all our lives once Nicklas leaves. But we must unite in our darkest hour and pull together as one cohesive supporting unit. Heroes come, and heroes go, folks. It’s just a part of football.

That’s about all for today. My last mention will be for you, the delicious reader. Thanks to you wonderful people, today will see me triumphantly pass the 1 million mark for hits. Perhaps it’s not something to brag about, but I am very pleased all the same.

If you’re a regular, a first-timer or even the person who E-mailed especially to call me a “c**t”; I really appreciate your support, and the time you’ve taken to read this dross.

The comments are below, where you may offer me congratulatory remarks or sneers of indifference. I look forward to casting my eyes over both.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

7 Comments

  1. JD

    congrats you beautiful bastard millionaire

    Reply
    1. James 'Raul' Stokes (Post author)

      Cheers!

      Reply
  2. Pitch

    I’m a bit worried about the close contact with Arsene reported in this story. Remember what happened last year when SAF gave him a call about a prospective transfer target, he was a bit too honest for my liking. What is he going to tell Bruno about NB?

    Congrats on the 1 million hits.

    Reply
  3. reallycrossross

    Congratulations you on your millionth hit! He sneered indifferently! I say bring back the bear. Talked a lot of sense that bear! I see him staring at me every day but no words of wisdom enter this page. Who is this Stokes cunit anyway!

    Reply
  4. Gravey

    Congratulations! Keep ’em coming

    Reply
  5. Veer

    I’ve been reading this blog for almost a year now, good to know it’s doing good. Congratulations on a million!

    Reply
  6. WrongFootPele

    Congrats on the cool mill… And getting rid of Bendtner would quite the way to celebrate [fingers crossed].

    Reply

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