The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

Blogging at weird times, Mulumbu, Morata and interminable speculation.

The escort service brought to life Kal-El’s wildest dreams…

Evening, folks.

Why am I writing at such a peculiar time (10.00pm)? I’m not entirely sure. Usually I’m an early posting kinda guy. Such things allow a degree of regularity and something for folks to expect. These days I’m all over the place.

Truth be told; I’ve just finished watching Man of Steel thanks to the strongest of recommendations from Daniel Cowan. Not a particularly huge fan of DC Comics’ most famous incarnation, I’ve put watching the movie on the back burner. It was superb, and I shall publicly thank Daniel for his frequent slobbering evaluations of the film. I’d go into more detail, but this isn’t a blog about films, and I can already sense a few people feeling the itch to post something abusive in the comments.

Today’s guff is about transfers, and there’s been a slew of rumours.

Alvaro Morata, a striker at Real Madrid who, if I’m very honest, I know little about is a candidate for ‘swoops’ and ‘raids’ in January. We need a striker (allegedly) and he is one. We have purchased a player from the Spanish giants before, and he plays his football there. I imagine the link is based solely on those two facts and little else. The player himself has reacted to the wild-eyed speculation by saying he has no intention of leaving.

Elsewhere, West Brom’s man-mountain, Youssouf Mulumbu has been a victim of reporters sculpting words to how they see fit. He recently stated in a French magazine article that he wished to leave and play elsewhere – reportedly Arsenal. Quick to dismiss such claims, the player said:

“The general point I was trying to make in the interview is that I want to play at the highest level possible.

“I admitted there has been interest in me from other clubs during my time here but I didn’t speak about Arsenal and I also didn’t say I would be looking to move in January.

“Not many people had heard of me when I joined West Brom and I have a lot of respect for the club and, of course, the supporters.

“We have progressed together over the past five years and West Brom gave me my chance in the Premier League, which I’m grateful for”

Blah blah blah. That’s pretty much the ubiquitous response you can expect. Does he want to leave? Maybe. Do Arsenal need him? Not as far as I’m concerned. He’s a decent enough player, but tough-tackling midfielders are not our greatest concern by any stretch of the imagination.

You need only look at your average list of sportsbook reviews to see just how much misinformation and trivial dross there is out there at present. More and more I see British sport becoming as media-invested as the ‘big’ games in America. These days anything sells as a story if it brings with is scandal, intrigue or wildly misquoted drivel. You need only look as feculent sites like Caught Offside and it’s repugnant affiliates.

Even I’m guilty of doctoring titles from time to time because I know it’ll bring a few extra readers my way. That’s a terrible admission to make, but sometimes you have to put your beliefs to one side for the sake of a little progression. Rest assured, I wouldn’t completely turn to the dark side, just embrace it once in a while (this part of the post is where I’d like you all to imagine me doing an evil laugh in my mellifluous Bristolian accent).

If I did that, I’d become one of those American sites about ‘Football’ and have to start posting you a preview of Saints at Seahawks, or The Boston Philandering Weasels at the New England Thundercats – or whatever the bloody hell they may be called. American sports teams have silly names.

What I’m trying to say amidst my personal delirium – I have a nasty eye infection that’s causing me grief – is that all the blathering transfer gossip out there is poppycock – pure and simple. Occasionally, the odd nugget of truth or journalistic integrity might find its way amongst all the madness, but it will be indistinguishable from the rest, rendered false to the masses simply by association. Is there actually a point to this blog today? No, I don’t think so. F**k this, I’m going to bed now. Perhaps tomorrow I shall awake with a  great deal more  focus and do a delcioius preview of the match against Hull City.

I will do that. Sometime in the late afternoon probably, but I shall do so. Until then, ignore pretty much all of the above. Instead, head towards the comments where you may say things like “worst blog ever” or “wot da f**k was that? i wasted 2 mins of my life reading it”. I’ll understand if you do. I really will. I’ll read them tomorrow.

I’m tired now. Big Ted just told me to stop typing.

I  think should have taken this piece of advice I was offered recently.


Thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

Category: Arsenal
  • goonerdyllan says:

    Da Worst Bloga Eva #StokesOut

    December 4, 2013 at 12:21 am
  • Paulo André Silveira Júnior says:

    You will give the people an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you, they will stumble, they will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun. In time, you will help them accomplish wonders.

    – Wenger to Mesut; Summer Transfer Period; 2013.

    December 4, 2013 at 12:32 am
  • reallycrossross says:

    Wurst blog eva, wot da furk was dat? I has wastered 2 mins of me live redding dat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Agree with goonerdyllan #StokesOut. You know who I feel most sorry for? That poor innocent bear! He has to live with him! #FreeBigTed

    December 4, 2013 at 12:35 am
  • James 'Raul' Stokes says:

    Big Ted is happy. That’s all you need to know.

    December 4, 2013 at 12:44 am

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