The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

Flamini, Arteta, Ramsey, Spurs and Reasons To be Cheerful.

Mesut was left awe-struck by Welbeck’s fabulous dummy.

Morning, folks.

The weekend proved something of a hectic event for me. Not hectic in the sense that enjoyable, hedonistic pursuits were enjoyed. Alas, no. It was a filled to the brim with work and other irksome undertakings that impinged upon my ability to write for you.

Whilst many of you will have attended the game or watched in the comfort of your homes, my observations came courtesy of the Sky App on my friend’s phone, an unpredictable internet connection at work and no small measure of disregard for my duties. Once the derby was underway, my productivity dropped to such an extent I might as well not have been at work at all – some might argue there isn’t much difference from normality there….

Two days on, my feelings still remain a mixed bag. Here’s a few examples of the good points and the bad as I saw them. Continue reading

Diaby Is The Answer To All Our Troubles And Pilfering Stan Kroenke.

Smiling all the way to the bank…

Morning, folks.

Having just this moment completed the arduous trek from my home to Kwik Fit to drop off Clarence (Yes – I have a name for my car. Don’t judge me) it is with a sense of great accomplishment I throw myself into today’s entry.

Firstly, I should briefly cover Tuesday’s defeat in the Capital One Cup.

Given that it isn’t a competition that’s awash with glorious tradition and prestige, a small part of me doesn’t see it as the end of the world. If offered the choice to sacrifice progression in one competition in favour of others, I’d hazard a guess most wouldn’t be too slow to choose the COC. However, regardless of what you may feel about it, it is a very realistic chance of a day at Wembley and a shimmering trophy. For that reason, going out at such an early stage with a relative whimper disappoints.

During the game itself, there was a mixed selection of performances. Some of the younger/fringe players (Hayden, Bellerin, Ospina, Diaby) put in decent performances. Other more established members of the squad (Rosicky, Podolski) looked, to be quite frank here, bloody awful. Rosicky I can forgive a bad performance because of his verve and enthusiasm and the irregularity of them occurring. Podolski, on the other hand, I find hard to defend.  Continue reading

Pass Debuchy To The Left Hand Side. For Three Months…

Not so chipper at present…

Afternoon, you gorgeous bunch of scallywags.

Having not been able to post recently due to limited time and other ‘exploits’ taking precedence, it is with glorious fanfare I return to your screens – I should note that those ‘exploits’ aren’t quite as saucy or debauched as it might imply.

Since that howler in Germany on Tuesday night, we’ve had a lovely little 3-0 victory over the course of a weekend that saw great hilarity. Amongst many results that favoured us, my personal highlight was the ‘Gaalacticos’ quite wonderfully blowing a 2 goal lead away at Leicester.

All is fine and dandy at the moment with Arsenal. And then comes a little bit of bad news, welcomed like I’d imagine I would an ageing prowler brandishing frozen trout with a menacing glare (That’s not welcome at all, just to clarify). Continue reading

Debuchy Could Be Out For Months.

Could be missing for sometime…

Morning,. folks.

Quick one today, as it’s my day off and I fully intend to indulge in a few choice pursuits – mostly hedonistic, but nothing sordid and ungentlemanly. I am, after all, a respectable English gentleman. Kinda…

The news today centres entirely around Mathieu Debuchy’s injury and the defensive pickle we’re left in. The early rumblings, albeit unconfirmed, universally agree the injury Debuchy sustained on Saturday is a serious one, the only variation is the duration he’s set to face only the sidelines – the average guess seems to be between 2-3 months, which is a huge blow if true.

Unless he makes a miraculously recovery or the severity of his injury defies all expectation we are looking at the alarming possibility of playing all 3 of our senior centre backs (Koscielny, Mertesacker, Chambers) at the same time with little or no cover should any join Debuchy is the medical centre.  Continue reading

The Superhuman Powers Of Abou Diaby.

Abou at his imperious best.

Morning, folks.

Surprisingly, my Sky Sports package arrived promptly yesterday. I had initially assumed I’d be spending the morning/afternoon pacing the house waiting for the technician to turn up, only for the event to occur at the very last available moment.

It was a pleasant occurrence, and being afforded the luxury of all those delicious sports channels in HD allowed me to watch last nights U21s game between Aston Villa and Arsenal at Villa Park.

From a first team perspective, Abou Diaby completing 90 minutes was significant. We’ve all witnessed countless false dawns with Abou over the years. Undoubtedly a player of great, great talent, his anatomy has proven as reliable as a wheelchair made of cheese. Continue reading

Arsene Wenger Hates Danny Welbeck And Vows To Shoot Him Into the Sun.

“what the bloody hell is going on?!”

It’s not often I’m near my computer when the world of Twitter has a meltdown. Today appears the exception to that rule. Nor is it a regular occurrence I allow myself to become embroiled in said meltdowns. Ordinarily, I’m far too stupid to care.

Today, however, I’m at a loss to understand just how something that, to me at the very least, seems so innocuous and inane can spark folk into slobbering rage.

If you’ve not already heard, this quote from Arsene was released regarding the signing of Danny Welbeck being completed whilst he was in Rome:

“If I had stayed in my home, he would not be here – that’s the truth”

That tiny statement sent Twitter into the kind of eruption that you’d expected to be accompanied by Tommy-Lee Jones scampering around Los Angeles rescuing hapless pedestrians. Continue reading

The Return Of Theo, Bargain Basement Welbeck And James’ Moaning.

“Come on, Sky, turn up at a respectable hour…”

Morning, delightful Earth creatures.

The theme of today’s post is very much waiting. Having recently re-located from Bristol to Gloucester, waiting has very much taken over my life. Previously I’ve waited for large companies such as BT and IKEA to complete relatively straight forward deliveries, only to see them fu*k things up quite spectacularly – our Swedish friends conspired to not actually turn up at all on the day they stated, whilst BT were 4 hours late. Today is the turn of Sky TV’s installation team.

Will they rise from the doldrums like an incandescent Phoenix of professionalism and manage to do as promised, or flounder in a manner similar to their established, gargantuan brethren? Today I’ll find out, and I’m already certain at this hour I’ll have to wait a considerable amount of time in order to do so.

Elsewhere, my morning consists of making phone calls – more waiting – signing up for a Red membership with Arsenal thanks to the reminders of an admirably persistent Joktopus – the same Joktopus who wrote this excellent piece about our perceived issues in defence – and shambling about my new home in just my pants. Continue reading