The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

Debuchy Could Be Out For Months.

Could be missing for sometime…

Morning,. folks.

Quick one today, as it’s my day off and I fully intend to indulge in a few choice pursuits – mostly hedonistic, but nothing sordid and ungentlemanly. I am, after all, a respectable English gentleman. Kinda…

The news today centres entirely around Mathieu Debuchy’s injury and the defensive pickle we’re left in. The early rumblings, albeit unconfirmed, universally agree the injury Debuchy sustained on Saturday is a serious one, the only variation is the duration he’s set to face only the sidelines – the average guess seems to be between 2-3 months, which is a huge blow if true.

Unless he makes a miraculously recovery or the severity of his injury defies all expectation we are looking at the alarming possibility of playing all 3 of our senior centre backs (Koscielny, Mertesacker, Chambers) at the same time with little or no cover should any join Debuchy is the medical centre.  Continue reading

The Superhuman Powers Of Abou Diaby.

Abou at his imperious best.

Morning, folks.

Surprisingly, my Sky Sports package arrived promptly yesterday. I had initially assumed I’d be spending the morning/afternoon pacing the house waiting for the technician to turn up, only for the event to occur at the very last available moment.

It was a pleasant occurrence, and being afforded the luxury of all those delicious sports channels in HD allowed me to watch last nights U21s game between Aston Villa and Arsenal at Villa Park.

From a first team perspective, Abou Diaby completing 90 minutes was significant. We’ve all witnessed countless false dawns with Abou over the years. Undoubtedly a player of great, great talent, his anatomy has proven as reliable as a wheelchair made of cheese. Continue reading

Arsene Wenger Hates Danny Welbeck And Vows To Shoot Him Into the Sun.

“what the bloody hell is going on?!”

It’s not often I’m near my computer when the world of Twitter has a meltdown. Today appears the exception to that rule. Nor is it a regular occurrence I allow myself to become embroiled in said meltdowns. Ordinarily, I’m far too stupid to care.

Today, however, I’m at a loss to understand just how something that, to me at the very least, seems so innocuous and inane can spark folk into slobbering rage.

If you’ve not already heard, this quote from Arsene was released regarding the signing of Danny Welbeck being completed whilst he was in Rome:

“If I had stayed in my home, he would not be here – that’s the truth”

That tiny statement sent Twitter into the kind of eruption that you’d expected to be accompanied by Tommy-Lee Jones scampering around Los Angeles rescuing hapless pedestrians. Continue reading

The Return Of Theo, Bargain Basement Welbeck And James’ Moaning.

“Come on, Sky, turn up at a respectable hour…”

Morning, delightful Earth creatures.

The theme of today’s post is very much waiting. Having recently re-located from Bristol to Gloucester, waiting has very much taken over my life. Previously I’ve waited for large companies such as BT and IKEA to complete relatively straight forward deliveries, only to see them fu*k things up quite spectacularly – our Swedish friends conspired to not actually turn up at all on the day they stated, whilst BT were 4 hours late. Today is the turn of Sky TV’s installation team.

Will they rise from the doldrums like an incandescent Phoenix of professionalism and manage to do as promised, or flounder in a manner similar to their established, gargantuan brethren? Today I’ll find out, and I’m already certain at this hour I’ll have to wait a considerable amount of time in order to do so.

Elsewhere, my morning consists of making phone calls – more waiting – signing up for a Red membership with Arsenal thanks to the reminders of an admirably persistent Joktopus – the same Joktopus who wrote this excellent piece about our perceived issues in defence – and shambling about my new home in just my pants. Continue reading

Welbeck’s Goals, Sanogo’s Vow and Ramsey’s ‘Injury’.

Sanogo… errr… ‘dances’ through the Bayern defence.

Morning, boys and girls.

Today, unlike those woefully bereft examples that preceded it, brings glorious news, and of the pertinent variety no less. Rest assured, delicious reader; there shall be no tomfoolery today. Nope, none. I’ll get right into the nitty-gritty and discuss some Arsenal stuff.

Having stated my disdain for all things relating to international football, it was a peculiar force that compelled me to watch Switzerland Vs England on Monday night. You might assume that transpired due to a sudden, arbitrary burst of enthusiasm for the fortunes of my national team. You’d be mistaken. The rather simple and puerile reason was to get a look at Danny Welbeck play for 90 minutes and envisage how he’ll settle in at Arsenal.

As it turned out, it wasn’t a bad game at all. I’ve said before that I find Wembley a soulless building. Continue reading

Santi Cazorla’s Selection Of Magnificent Biscuits.

“Get yer Hob Nobs, dunkable goodness in a pack of 3″

Morning, folks.

All through the summer I had little time to blog because of the rigmarole associated with moving house. Such things eat relentlessly away at your every waking moment and often involve dealing with stubbornly idiotic folk seemingly hell-bent on causing difficulty. I know if my friend, The Joktopus, is reading this he’ll agree, as will Daniel Cowan. Some of you most probably will also. The whole process is stressful and immeasurably infuriating from start to finish.

Now that it is all firmly behind me, I can put aside time to write this here mess of mine. The only slight problem is I’ve opted to return at a time little or nothing of any interest is happening out there in the wonderful world of Arsenal.

So where to begin? Well, those of you who pop by with regularity will know no subject is off limits here. I was considering searching the news outlets, but even with the window shut for a week, they are still churning out transfer stories. So what remains? Something customarily idiotic, that’s what. Continue reading

Wojciech Szczesny Doesn’t Have Any Friends…

“I have at least two friends”

Morning, you scrumptious little rascals.

Welcome to glorious Sunday morning – a morning in which I’m afforded the luxury of not working. Once this post is completed, the joys of trudging around various home improvement outlets awaits me. I’m looking to treat myself to a decorative plant of some description. Yes, folks – my life is THAT crazy.

With that hedonistic pursuit in mind, proceedings will be kept to a minimum today as the throes of excitement truly have me overwhelmed. I’m picturing what lies ahead right now; the tension of selecting the correct decorative plant that turns to sweet joy once the correct choice is made; the ecstasy of queuing for payment; the haunting beauty of wrestling with a f**king plant as I attempt to fit it in the boot of my car; the startled passers-by mumbling with disapproval as I pepper the air with obscenities; the list of delights is endless.

However, now is the time reserved for Arsenal chatter, so it is precisely that I shall serve.  Continue reading