The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

Goalkeeper Troubles, Podolski, Wilshere And Stuff.

Tottenham? Not a chance in hell.

Afternoon, folks.

” I just blew in from the windy city”

Currently there is a rampaging gale blowing. I exaggerate not a jot. Should a cat or small car float past, swirling towards the clouds, I wouldn’t pay it a second glance such is the ferocity of Mother Nature at present. It immediately put me in mind of the film, ‘Twister’ and I secretly yearn for Bill Paxton to burst through my door and exclaim, “Sh*t! Horizontal rain!” for no reason other than the fact I love Bill Paxton.

Today I jot for you good people because of a sense of obligation and without the handy bonus of interesting points of discussion. Recent months have seen me fall out of love with blogging, mainly due to the constraints of time and my personal grievances with the manner in which success in gleaned in this field – barring a few notable exceptions, most pursue to avenue of controversy and speculative dross in order to seduce a readership. I’m not of that persuasion, I’m just a big-haired dandy from Bristol sat in front on a PC blathering about Arsenal, and to see what little success I had obtained obliterated by opportunistic drivel disheartened me somewhat. Continue reading

Arsenal Vs Hull: Player Ratings.

Thank fu*k for that…

Morning, folks.

Yesterday’s game was one to be swiftly confined to the areas of memory we choose not to access. As I like to try and do something a little different every now and then, here are my views on the players and their ratings, traditionally scored from 1 – 10.

1. Szczesny

Did little other than pick the ball out of the net and field the occasional back pass. Perhaps could have stood up a little longer for Diame’s goal, but on the whole blameless. 5/10

39. Hector Bellerin

Assured at times and offered a good outlet in forward positions. Did well on his debut. 6/10

3. Kieran Gibbs 

I love Gibbs, but he can be caught out of position and often reckless. In a game where we were rarely pressed into dramatic defensive action, he spent the majority of the game in the opponents half and did little whilst up there. 5/10 Continue reading

Bolster The Defence In January And the Release Of Ched Evans.

Arsene’s latest defensive recruit had opponents running scared.

Afternoon, all.

Yesterday saw the farrago of the AGM at Arsenal. As I take pride in being as honest with you delicious creatures as is possible, the point has arrived where I must express just how little interest I take in the whole thing. Undoubtedly it serves a purpose for some, offering valuable insight into the manner in which business is conducted behind closed doors. From the perspective of yours truly, it comes across as an avenue in which already angry folk can become apoplectic.

For  that reason alone, I shan’t be discussing too much about it. The one point I will mention is Arsene Wenger’s insistence that the Club will delve into the market once the January window opens. Having confessed at the time the squad was “a little light” due to the recent spate of injuries, it would appear Arsene looks to amend what was, in my opinion, a glaring mistake over the summer. We should have signed another defender and there is little I can offer as a means of excusing this.

The who remains anybody’s guess. Names ranging from the established to the obscure are branded about with such frequency that it’s something of a lottery picking a potential incoming. The wonderfully named, Virgil van Dijk of Celtic is alleged to be someone we tried to recruit in August Continue reading

Wilshere Excels – A Look At The International Week.

Promising performance from Jack

England may have won their two Euro 2014 qualifiers over the weekend but there was little for most international fans to shout about. Both victories came over sides that offered little going forward and caused few concerns for Roy Hodgson’s defence. With England’s attack lacking penetration, one of the few positives to have come out of the games was the form of Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere and Gunners fans will be praying that he can continue to perform when he returns to Premier League action.

Might As Well Have Been Playing Online Casino Games…

It is rare that two England victories in the space of four days would ever be greeted with indifference but that is exactly how their 5-0 win over San Marino and 1-0 victory in Estonia have been met. Continue reading

Arsenal Prepare To SWOOP For Player In STORY That Uses CAPITALS And Is Totally MADE UP

Crazy Twitter fingers send the news across the world…

Afternoon, folks.

We live in a world of misinformation. The past few days as I’ve traversed the tedious international break my beady eyes have noticed that Arsenal have “opened talks” with somewhere in the region of 20 players, if you believe that sort of thing. I do not.

In amongst that maelstrom of spurious dross there may lurk an iota of truth, one shred of legitimacy, which will forever be lost to us all. Often I liken such things to the frequency with which I spot large supermarket chains ensuring their own brand cereal has packing that, at a passing glance, appears similar to the more recognised brands – if you think you’re getting Kellogg’s at some unconscious level, you put the box in your trolley.

The same applies online these days. If you see a post with capitalised words and it reads as important, you’ll click away and be greeted with unsubstantiated drivel.

But hey, such is life… As a means of combating that you can always rely on me to post my own unique brand of dross. That’s what I’m here for, folks.

In a week that is so very quiet because of the international matches, there is little to discuss other than what ways I can gamble my money using my betting app or the squad and it’s interminable injury list. Joining what feels like an entire team is Mesut Ozil. Continue reading

Internationals, England, Crocked Ozil And Ghetto Arsene.

“Dropping smarts on bitches in Y2K, ya’ll. Word”

Morning, folks.

Since the weekend’s thoroughly deflating defeat to Chelsea, I’ve not really felt like posting anything. This isn’t due to a sense of bitterness or overwhelming despair for the fortunes of my favourite team – not at all. Often blogging becomes tricky when my attentions are focused elsewhere.

That defeat wasn’t unexpected by any means, but did hurt nevertheless. Our performance did have positives, but when all is said and done, we simply lost to a team that are better than us and I find that painful to admit. Chelsea are anathema to me, a football club so egregious that it defies belief, however, when logic comes into play, it’s hard to dispute we are not as well-equipped as them to challenge on all fronts.

Mourinho saw areas of his team in desperate need of improvement and he bought in Fabregas and Diego Costa to address it. Continue reading

Predicted Starting XI For Chelsea And General Thoughts.

Jose Mourinho was looking forward to the game…

Morning, folks.

Here we are; the morning of the big game; the day of reckoning; the toughest away game of the season; bloody Chelsea. There’s very little positivity from Arsenal fans across the outlets I peruse today. Few see the potential for a result against arguably the most impressive team of the season thus far.

I wish I could disagree. Pessimism isn’t something I particularly like, it’s an ugly, consuming emotion, but you have to be realistic enough to admit we face a very tough game today. Perhaps the 6-0 debacle clouds judgement, perhaps supporter expectation isn’t as high this season. Whatever the reason, a draw today would be snatched from the offerer with both hands and slobbering glee.

Can we win the game? Yes, we can – if you scour betting sites such as Betfair, we have a reasonable selection of odds. For all their attacking abilities, Chelsea do have weakness – Fabregas alongside Matic is an area I think we could exploit – and they have shipped just as many goals we have. We also have pace in the side today, and that was a feature sorely lacking from the team that were so thoroughly decimated on Arsene 1000th game.

There are reasons to have hope. I can’t sit behind the TV expecting my team to lose a game. Our attacking quartet of Welbeck, Alexis, Oxlade-Chamberlain and Ozil can cause any team in football problems with their mix of pace and guile.  Continue reading