The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

A Season With Genuine Signs Of Progression and Next Season’s New Kit.


A generous round of applause

Greetings, folks.

This season feels like it’s flown by. Rummaging around upstairs in my brain I can’t think of another example from the past in which the period from August to May has elapsed so quickly. 

A great deal has happened in that period. When I get around to writing the obligatory season review in greater depth I’ll discuss the significant points and the not-so pertinent. In the meantime I thought I’d share with you my thoughts on the progression the team has made. 

Some will disagree we’ve made any progression at all. They’ll disagree vehemently and with no small measure of vitriol and spewy dross. Such is the nature of the online community we frequent. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. The beauty of writing about sport is the plethora of varied thoughts and perceptions. I respect anyone’s right to say whatever the fu*k they feel is truthful. I simply disagree with the manner in which some go about it. 

Personally I prefer to glean the positives and cast the rest aside. Doubtless to say; things aren’t perfect and there is room for improvement. However, finishing 3rd is a step up from last year and if we manage to retain the FA Cup the season can be looked upon as a success. 

There’s many positives to take. We’ve taken great strides toward ending our much-fabled ‘top 4 hoodoo’ with victories at both Manchester clubs and a comprehensive demolition of Liverpool I was fortunate enough to witness live with @JokmanAFC. 

Francis Coquelin has triumphantly emerged from the doldrums to seemingly end our troubles in defensive midfield. Since his return in January, The Coq has excelled and we look a much stronger unit with him patrolling centrally. Unlike some previous incumbents of the position, he successfully couples natural enthusiasm with the ability to tackle. We’ve needed someone to do that for quite a while.  

We have a very strong first team squad with all options available. Granted, that is something that will probably not last a great deal of time, but the strength in depth is certainly there. When coupled with a new medical regime under Shad Forsythe and we can go into the coming campaign with hope for better luck when it comes to crunch time. 

Being something of a big Twitter user myself, I was intrigued when I was sent some information about the 2014/2015 season by some acquaintances of mine along with some other excellent deals

Below is a graphic showing which players were most tweeted about over the course of the season. 


who did we tweet about?

It’s as you’d expect. Arsenal are represented by Ozil and Sanchez with the latter attracting lots of praise and the former having to endure monumental amounts of abuse for no particular reason. Such is the nature of folk on Twitter…

Think I’ll just finish it up here and let you all digest the above how you see fit. It may now be a touch late, but here’s a picture of next season’s new home shirt

I like it. Maybe not too keen on the button collar, but on the whole I reckon it’s a winner. Right… Time to finish up. Hit me up in the comments. 

I’ll be back in the morning. Until then, and as always; thanks for reading you beautiful bastards. 

The Supremacy Of Nacho Monreal


Monreal is better than all you cunts.

Nacho Monreal. A slightly weird name for a player with a slightly weird face slightly covered by a slightly weird haircut that always seems to tease between fringe and quiff. At this moment in time, that man happens to be the most in form defender we have. Some will say that Nacho has had a dramatic turn around over the last few games after being poor previously. Those people are liars and sex pests. Monreal has consistently been our best defender all season, to the despair of some of our fanbase who regarded him as less popular than Al Qaeda at the start of the season. Continue reading

Santi Cazorla or Mesut Ozil Centrally? Favourites For The FA Cup?

A trinket available in May.

Morning, folks.

I’m writing this post to you last night. I’ve just finished watching Gone Girl (which is darkly, unsettlingly brilliant) in enough time to see Philippe Coutinho curl a winner for Liverpool at Bolton in the final minutes of the game (which was darkly, unsettlingly brilliant). Brendan Rodgers is currently goose-stepping manically about his technical area in celebration as that horrendous beak on his face disrupts the Earth’s gravity. The massive c*nt.

The FA Cup, aye…

Few could dispute England’s most traditional competition represents our most likey avenue for success. With the shocks of the previous round reverberating throughout the land, Arsenal find themselves in a position where the competition now appears jarringly winnable.

However, this will be a sentiment shared by both Liverpool and Manchester United. Louis van Gaal may look like a poorly inflated corpse, but he is not known for his modesty – he rarely does anything other than bleat out of his asre about how oh-so bloody wonderful he is, so, doubtless to say, he fancies his side’s chances.  Continue reading

Galatasaray, A Ramsey Thunderbolt And The Stalking Of Nigel Winterburn.

Nigel Winterburn in his playing days.

Evening, folks.

This is the first time I’ve been able to plonk myself in front of the computer for the best part of the previous 48 hours. Often the elements conspire in unpleasant, work-related ways to prevent digits connecting with keys. Thankfully, on this particular occasion, the reasons stand proudly the polar opposite.

On Tuesday evening, myself and a few friends from The Goonersphere Podcast were invited to a Grosvenor Casino in Piccadilly Circus to watch the final game of Arsenal’s Champions League group, gorge ourselves senseless on the array of complimentary treats offered and, best of all, engage in a chin-wag with bonafide Arsenal legend, Nigel Winterburn.

I can report that the event was overwhelmingly a success. The venue was extremely nice, and the atmosphere created was wonderful – no strictly adhered to itinerary, but a formal, friendly atmosphere in which we were able to ‘hang-out’ with a player many of us idolised throughout our formative years. Think – a trip down the pub with your friends, only this time the food and drink is free and an ex-player happens to be there. Continue reading

The Alternative Arsenal Season Preview 2014/2015 Part 1.

Morning, folks.

I did say I’d return to regular blogging, didn’t I…

Sometimes, things just don’t work out the way you’d want them to. With moving house making me irascible and my spare time at a premium because of this, those grand plans I had initially have faltered and failed to come to fruition. 

However, I do have my friend Dyllan Munro, and he likes to write article in his inimitable style. So, safe from all the usual talk of transfer rumours and regurgitated statistics, here’s his take on what we can expect in the 2014/2015 season. Part 2 follows very soon. 

– James. 

Bonjour fannybandits.

Having established myself as a sophisticated muthafu*ka in my greeting, you can rest assured that my word and opinions can not only be trusted but have been meticulously researched and as such should here forth be acknowledged as irrefutable facts and not the ramblings of a delusional student with an alcohol dependency. Continue reading

Arseblog and Sparseblog.

Welcome to the Arse.

Evening, delicious lifeforms.

Seeing as James Rodriguez and I share a first name, I thought I’d give using the Colombian pronunciation a whirl. Turns out a Bristolian man referring to himself as ‘Ham-es’ comes across as a bit of a prick. Pity, becuase I quite liked the sound of it, it gave me an edge of mystery. ‘Ham-es’ ‘Raul’ Stokes is the kind of guy you can’t trust, a renegade, a nomadic, a sorcerer…. Or a bit of a prick…

I’ve not posted in a few days so I guess I should belatedly welcome Mathieu Debuchy having seen the French right-back complete his move to Arsenal. Welcome, may your days as a Gooner be rich with wondrous performances and great accomplishments.

Also, I guess I ought explain my absences. It’s difficult being the sole writer of a blog when you’ve many other things to attend to. How Andrew writes Arseblog every day without fail is beyond me. I assume he’s developed an X-Men-like mutation that enables him to suspend time and write blogs leisurely.  At present, my efforts are very much Sparseblog compared to Arseblog (I’m going to use that as the title). Continue reading

£27m Balotelli For Arsenal And A Few World Cup Views.

“Thanks, Joe – now I don’t have dandruff, just silky and manageable hair”

Greetings, Earthlings. I’ve been away for such a long time. Seems almost an eternity since digits danced with keys and blathery goodness was the result. Why such a elongated dalliance with obscurity and the realms of the unheard, I hear you collectively ponder? Well, scrumptious creatures, a combination of intense workloads in my personal life, excessive heat and a lack of inclination has conspired and caused such a glaring lack of posts.

In my absence, I’ve been keenly watching the World Cup. Having initially sworn I, “wasn’t that bothered”, such has been the quality of the football on show I’ve now got right into it all. Aside from England, that is. If you’re familiar with me and the stuff I write, you’ll already know I’m not really that patriotic – Club football takes precedence over its international counterpart everyday of the week. England’s unceremonious dumping from the tournament  at the hands of a decent Italy side and a toothy racist hardly registered with me at all. Continue reading