Chamberlain And Gibbs Set To Leave In January And Samir Nasri’s Hooker Escapades.

gibbsox

Morning, boys ‘n’ girls.

As we hurtle unstoppably towards 2017, two things begin to come to the forefront of news and the media; the first is interminable lists of occurrences during 2016. These range from obligatory goal compilations to pretty much anything you can imagine. Headings like;

The 10 most scintillating cat poos of 2016. No7 will BLOW you away!

Or:

The top 25 exploding relatives of 2016. You won’t believe the celebrity who’s made the list!

You get the idea. Mercifully, these should stop in a few days.

The 2nd, of course, is the January transfer window. With the opening (and the weeks leading up to it) comes speculation, and absolutely f*ckloads of it. People want to sell papers and get hits on their websites so stories are circulated and interest is created from nothing in particular. Every now and then there’s a genuine story, but that gets lost for good in a sea of utter drivel.

And one particular piece of drivel surrounds an alleged impending bid from Liverpool for Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. Had such an offer come over the summer, I’d be inclined to believe the Club would have considered it. Up until that point in his career, The Ox has shown only glimpses of his abilities as a player without ever looking like he might flirt with consistency. This season, however, he’s figured in the team due to improved performances and already has a dozen goals and assists to his name. Along with Walcott, his overall contribution has been significantly improved.

For that reason alone I doubt we’d sell to Liverpool. I’m not certain we’d sell to a rival, but given the instances I could mention from the past where exactly that has happened, I don’t think I’d rule it out. That said, the story is total nonsense. Even Jurgen Klopp has come out to debunk the rumours himself.

The story itself came from Sky ‘sources’ – unnamed figures at the cutting edge of football journalism who, I’d assume, are nothing more than figments of another’s imagination dreamt up to serve a purpose. That purpose being the ability to give any old bulls*t a faint air of legitimacy. How easy is it to make anything you want up and claim an unnamed individual gave you an exclusive scoop?

Anyone could do it. Here, I’ll have a go:

“Unnamed sources at Sky claim Piers Morgan has agreed to shut the f*ck up for the rest of his life, stating that he wholeheartedly agrees he should be stoned to death should, for whatever reason, he break that agreement. Every rational thinking human being on Earth is trying to get a statement”

It’s simple!

Kieran Gibbs was mentioned to be departing also, but with no potential suitors named. Given the paucity of left-backs around at the moment, we can consider ourselves fortunate to have two good ones. Admittedly, both Gibbs and Monreal are capable of going off the boil from time to time, but both are solid and dependable for the most part. I doubt very much we’d be willing to leave a crucial position short of numbers in January.

Elsewhere in news, Samir Nasri is, hilariously, at the front of controversy. Now, I came to this particular party late so I’m not entirely sure what happened. It looks like good old Samir has been doing the dirty with some dubious trollope posing as a legitimate hydration service. It also appears like an angry female partner got hold of his Twitter account and told the world of his infidelities.

EvaMcL3 on Twitter had the whole epic saga on her timeline:

I couldn’t say with any certainty whether that’s what happened, but I don’t care. Anything that causes Samir Nasri, the feculnet little rodent, embarrassment in public or to be mocked for his shi*thousery is a bloody good thing in my book. If he was found to be screwing around with a representative of the ‘Drip Doctors’ then he got everything he deserved.

I think I’ll leave it for today, folks. Leave me a comment below and let me know your thoughts. I’ll be back with a bumper New Year’s Eve special tomorrow. Until then, and as always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

2 Comments

  1. Christian

    This is one January transfer window that I can’t really say what I want. I don’t think we should let any player go and at the same time I can’t find enough reason to want to bring anyone in. I think we did good business over the summer and as I’ve always been against buying for buying sake, bringing in a player will really not change anything unless someone with exceptional abilities suddenly become available (Dimitri Payet comes to mind) but that is unlikely. With Danny and Mustafi coming back soon and Santi just around the corner, we have a squad capable of taking us to the end of the season. Whether we can with the league with them is totally a topic for another day. As for the feculent little rodent (has a nice ring to it James) that is Samir Nasir, I really don’t care what happens to him. He can get struck down by lightning and I won’t flinch. If there’s one footballer I wish something horrible could happen to everyday it’s him and I hope he gets what he deserves… And worse.

    Reply
    1. James 'Raul' Stokes (Post author)

      @Christian: Lightning sounds pretty good to me 🙂

      Reply

Leave a comment. Go on, you know you wanna...