Higuain in London for (another) medical, Suarez’s choppers and winners.

“You mean to tell me some of these stories might not be true?!”

Morning folks.

Today might just be one of those days we all look back upon fondly. All things going well, if the universe aligns itself in our favour, it shouldn’t be too long before we announce the capture of Gonzalo Higuain.

Those of you that read this blog know I’m not one of those writers (bloggers…) that puts too much faith in statistics. I was having a little browse through the figures attributed to our Argentinian friend and  something caught my eye:

107 goals in 190 appearances for Real Madrid

Whichever way you look at it that is incredibly impressive. No, it’s damn exciting. I’ve never doubted the pedigree of Higuain as a centre forward as I’ve watched him play a few times; he’s tough, he works hard and he knows how to finish. But those stats have me giddy with excitement.

As I’m typing, there is a whirlwind of anticipation brewing in my nether regions. I’m not ashamed to admit that the thought of Higuain leading our line has me at the point of sullying myself stupid. He could be an enormous player for us.

Yet, the rational part of my mind has to consistently remind me that nothing, nothing at all, is done yet. At the time of going to print, that is. The last time I wrote about a lack of signings the night before posting, we made one as I was typing it.

I think it will happen. I think it will happen very soon – perhaps even today. Reports suggest Higuain and his father/agent are in London to thrash out a deal and go through the medical formalities. If all goes smoothly, then we have ourselves our new record signing.

Those reports I am certainly inclined to believe. One that I’m not is a story about betting being suspended on Luis Suarez joining Arsenal. That’s utterly ridiculous.

– “But James, it could be true. You never know…”

Sorry, but I’m not having it. I was dubious enough regarding Rooney, and there is potential there. But Suarez is absurd, and I’ll give you some pretty solid reasons why:

  • He’d cost at least £30m
  • Liverpool wouldn’t sell to another Premiership team
  • He’ll miss the first 6 games of the season
  • Suarez himself has said he wants to move abroad
  • Wenger tends to stay away from players with personal problems
  • He’s a buck-toothed nibbly racist

Again, my friends, it’s another media invention, and one that I’m sure will have people flocking to betting sites to see if betting is suspended. Perhaps they’ll make a few bets whilst they’re hunting for news. Who knows… Sky Sports reporting on suspended betting on Sky Bet is just purely coincidental…

I’ll finish up to with a congratulations to Ian Mansfield of Leicester who will be receiving his iTunes vouchers in the post very soon. Thanks a bunch to all of you who entered my very first competition here, and well done to all of you that correctly identified the movies from the pictures I used. The answers were:

  1. 12 Monkeys
  2. Avengers Assemble
  3. 500 Days of Summer
  4. CB4 (This was the toughie – nice work those who got it)
  5. Bruce Almighty
  6. Irreversible
  7. Inception

And that’s all I have time for, folks. As usual, I’m posting late on the night before publication. I can feel my eyes becoming heavy as the sweet sanctuary of my bed gently calls my name. I’d be foolish to ignore it.

The comments below await your thoughts. It’s lovely to see there is a small community of regular posters there. If you’re new, I hope you’ll join in. The more the merrier.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

19 thoughts on “Higuain in London for (another) medical, Suarez’s choppers and winners.”

  1. Armchair gooner, I appreciate you for ur update and am also hoping for things to work out for us concerning Higuian, it will be the best signin of the season.

  2. Once again, a pretty apt post….Lets hope we do manage to sign Higuain!
    I for one would also be very excited to see him lead our front line. Come on Aresenal dust off that cheque book!

  3. Who the hell could possibly believe that Suarez is coming to Arsenal? It’s the silly season, not the bloody daft season.

  4. @jamesraulstokes thanks for the post you beautiful bastard. (sighs) ah! That felt so good, COYG!!! The HIG is gonna be a fantastic signing no doubt. #gunners4eva

  5. Excellent as usual James …

    Being a glutton for punishment and feeling that this summers transfer rumour shinanegans is not enough entertainment I was wondering what next year’s silly season might bring and the forgotten class of 92!

    You see we have 9 players on the books that will become “full” squad members next year. Adding to the 28 we already have. Taking into account that 3 are already on loan (Santos, Djourou and Coquelin) 2 should leave (Chamakh and TGSTEL) and Park! That will give us a squad of 31 before we finish with this silly season. Now given that Gallardo won’t make it, he’s gone back to Boliva and Boateng hasn’t broken through. That still means when we sign players this window we’re putting them at risk. For those who need some insight; Captain Jack and Corporal Jenkinson are both part of the class of 92. Along with Martinez, Ryo, Miguel, Joel Campbell and Manny “Dench” Frimpong. IMO Manny doesn’t have a long term future and Rosicky won’t get a contract extension to wear Puma. But this does mean that firstly this is a make or break time for Miguel, Campbell and Ryo in particular. Secondly Arteta, Sagna and Fabianski contracts could be run down. And third we might not sign anyone other than Higuain this window! That still means no signings next silly season! We can all rest easy that we don’t have to got through this saga again until the summer of 2015!

    Place your bets; we won’t be signing the buck-toothed nibbly racist!

  6. I always love reading your posts.
    My conspiracy theory is making money on Higuain. The odds got too narrow on Higuain coming to Arsenal. So put some money on Suarez who must’ve been huge odds to Arsenal when all arrows lead to Real. Bookies get worried of inside info as no one can be that stupid to bet big on that. So they close on Suarez and the papers chomp at it. Next step, wisper in the paper’s ear that no bid has been made for Higuain and Anchelotti wants to keep him while others report he’s in London for a medical.

    Betting odds back open wide on a sure thing.

  7. Here is Arsenals ‘plan A’

    1. Bid for a big name player
    2. Bid annoyingly , but only slightly below the asking price
    3. Refuse to pay the extra 99 pence Madrid ask them for , knowing full well this will scupper any deal
    4.Madrid then accept the lower price
    5. Wenger thinks ‘shit, I didn’t expect them to accept, I better go for plan b ‘

    Plan b
    1.drag heels , as many heels as we can find just drag the fuckers
    2.drag them some more , if we drag for long enough Chelsea should come in for him with the extra 99 pence so we don’t actually have to buy him
    3.say for the next 3 months ‘theres just not any top top top top players out there good enough to replace Gervinho , they have to have 4 ‘tops’ at the very least before we will even consider dragging our heels for them
    4. Get destroyed in a game just before the window closes
    5. Panic buy Gareth Barry and Torres
    6.tell them Diaby is like a new signing

  8. Hahah first timer here, brilliant writing beautiful bastard XD

    Anyway, we should hurry up with the Higuain deal so that we may shift our attention towards adding steel in defence, be it fellaini or bender.
    Apart from that, really want our danish problem out quick, dont care if its frankfurt or derby county.

  9. Gazidis is not an idiot. No club exec worth his salt is gonna tell the fans we have so much money there is no room left down the back of the sofa, then go and buy cheap dross. We arsenal fans especially, are a tetchy bunch to put it mildly.
    Wenger is not an idiot. He will not allow our squad numbers to become so depleted with our recent departures and not replenish. What ever you think of them, they have left vacant squad places behind that need to be filled!

    These two facts together only means one result to me. Significant signings starting with, as im here ill call him Higuana, Although I do prefer the Hig. (I think that will stick, sorry James!)
    I for one am a relaxed gooner and I think new faces will be going to Asia next week.

    Reach out and touch faith, you’re your own personal jesus.

  10. buck tooted nibbly racist!!! love it. that actually made me LOL. classic. keep it up always enjoy this page/blog.

  11. Love the blog, always my nightly read just before bed. Today’s post sums it up beautifully.

    I don’t know if you’ve read the piece the guardian has on David Villa. I think even if we get Higuain we should hit up Villa from under spurs noses – he’s bloody brilliant, would be a good bit of business done. I get the DM argument, but I don’t see Fellaini somehow (he’s good, I wouldn’t mind being proven wrong), but maybe someone cheaper? Or Ramsey.

    Your thoughts?

    1. I agree with your Villa point to an extent; he’s absolutely brilliant, but if we continue to play with one striker, I’m not sure we’d need him if/when Higuain arrives.

      As for the DM argument, I wouldn’t say we need one, but someone capable of being a little combative in midfield, and who has physical presence like Fellaini wouldn’t go amiss.

      Thanks for making me your nighttime read!

      1. I was thinking not so much a striker but left wing for Villa. Competition for poldi, santi more central with wilshere and either of arteta and Ramsey. Rosicky can sub in for wilshere / cazorla when fit so you have 3 guys for those 2 spots and maybe the ox as well when he isn’t deputing for theo.

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