The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

How to know what to read: a guide by Dyllan Munro.

Dyllan was often very insistent his articles be featured elsewhere.

Morning, folks. 

The match review for today’s game with Fulham follows very shorty. In light of recent events, my favourite little Scotsman, Dyllan Munro, has taken a few moments to pen/type his guide to Arsenal blogging. Without further ado, I shall allow Dyllan’s words to guide you toward  your reading salvation: 

The Idiots Guide to Arsenal Blogging.

Since you’re reading this you will be aware of the world of Arsenal blogging. If summarised, it’s a murky realm on the Interwebs where damaged individuals express their opinions to seek the validation and approval of others. Occasionally some will write outlandish pieces in an attempt to gain exposure or pen a critical piece insulting others to satisfy that deep craving for attention. Lately it has become very popular for bloggers and admirers of those blogs to go onto other sites and abuse the authors of articles that they disagree with. A friendly disagreement is perfectly acceptable and to be expected but the hateful vitriol posted is often a sign that those spammers were either not loved enough, or loved too much as a child.

To avoid confusion I’ve penned this helpful article detailing the Arsenal Blogging Spectrum so that you know which views will match your own & what areas to avoid lest your blood boil. The position on the spectrum is on no way a criticism of any of the blogs and merely a way to differentiate on content matter. Any judgement on what is presumed to be better is entirely down to the individual.

I have avoided placing Podcasts on this list because views on these shows are often very diverse due to the common use of the “guest spots”. Whilst panellists on shows such as GoonerGirls Podcast & Goonersphere Podcast have roughly the same outlook on the club, views on podcasts like A Bergkamp Wonderland are hugely divergent. That’s because, amongst Gimli’s sexual deviancy,  it contains regular guests with wildly contrasting views such as GeoffArsenal & SheWore. Likewise I avoided the repository of knowledge & humour that is Goonersphere. The reason for this is at last time of checking they had 20 contributors which makes it very likely that a conflict of opinions would arise and make it hard to pinpoint where they should go. The same applies to the always compelling Gunners Town.

The Bloggers

Positively Arsenal 

Run by notorious shitehawk BlackburnGeorge, this site focuses on all the positives from the Arsenal players & club. Famously smitten with Arsene Wenger, this site is a firm believer of retaining the services of our respected Frenchman and is also of the opinion that the man at the helm of Arsenal with decades of footballing experience knows more than the average blogger. Often mocked by those on the right of the spectrum for their devotion to Wenger and the belief that Arsene deserves the credit for Arsenal’s good performances.

Visit If: You think Arsene Knows Best & like to remain upbeat.

Avoid If: You think AKB’s are insufferable arsesniffers & Wenger is a relic of a bygone era.

Poznan In My Pants

This blog presents comical offerings that enthral, amaze and occasionally disgust readers. Instead of writing daily posts or commenting on previous games Poznan prefers to write in depth articles fresh from the depths of his warped mind. Almost universally respected blogger capable of fantastic pieces of work. Tends to believe that the manager and in particular the medical staff have a greater bank of knowledge than someone who did PE in Year 5. Highlights of Poznans include “A Theo Shaped Hole”, “Why Gary Neville Must Be Stopped” and “Mesut Özil’s Sex Tape”. I’m saying the last one’s strange and I live in Glasgow.

Visit If: You enjoy fanciful and captivating stories containing Arsenal themes.

Avoid If: You prefer factual Arsenal news & have no interest in learning about Schrodinger.

The Armchair Gooner

An atypical football fan and daily blogger who happens to be a ferociously eloquent and worryingly eccentric practitioner of electrical based eroticism. His ramblings take on a balanced, positive note and often contain words on his one true beloved, Mathieu Flamini. James is an ordinary fan with no alleged contacts in the industry and reports on the days happenings with the sort of vigour you wouldn’t expect from someone forced to live in Bristol (Me: F**k you, Dyllan). Unfailingly entertaining.

Visit If: You enjoy surrealist writing and jam based shenanigans.

Avoid If: You have hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.

Arseblog

The Godfather of the Arsenal Blogosphere. Andrew has been publishing humorous and engaging articles for over 10 years now and manages to draw readers back day in, day out to hear his thoughts on our beloved club. He also manages a delicate balancing act in which everyone can appreciate his efforts, irrespective of their position on the players or manager.

Visit If: You appreciate intelligent writing & a wealth of footballing knowledge.

Avoid If: Even balanced views upset you or you don’t like Dubliners.

Angry Of Islington

Phil prefers not to react to events on the pitch in the form of a daily blog but instead writes on more general subjects such as club ownership. A fan of Arsenal tradition, Phil offers detailed articles on shares, Kroenke & David Dein whilst displaying great knowledge about our club in general. He is of the opinion that Wenger is not infallible which leads to some criticism from fans on the left of the spectrum.

Visit If: You want to learn about Arsenal finances and board activity.

Avoid If: You believe Wenger is the Messiah or find Arsenals commercial activity boring.

Le Grove

This site has been up for over 5 years and has a large community of repeat readers and commenters. Pedro is a frequent critic of Wenger and the direction that the club has taken at times. He has often written about Wengers tactical inflexibility, and his inability to perform well against “the big teams”.  Believes that good performances are firmly because of the players and not the managers output. Grows more irritated during transfer windows and when players pick up injuries. He is often maligned by fans of the left due to his previous criticisms of players, Wenger and the club although clearly has many who agree with him.

Visit If: You enjoy reading about Wengers mistakes.

Avoid If: You don’t like criticisms of the commercial, medical and playing staff.

She Wore A Yellow Ribbon

GC is a big fan of Arsenal’s history and traditions who has gained notoriety within the Gooner community for his uncompromising views on the club and Arsene Wenger in particular. GC is firmly of the belief that our Manager should have delivered some silverware during the Emirates period and actively seethes with rage at the thought of our large cash reserves. He is also perpetually infuriated by Wengers rather large wage.

Visit If: You think “Wenga” should go and Bendtner is a c*nt.

Avoid If: You think that Wenger handled the transition from Highbury to Emirates well.

Be sure to follow Dyllan on Twitter @GoonerDyllan and take a moment to check out his blog, Goonertastic. Big thanks to the repugnant little scamp for sending me his article. As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.
Category: Arsenal
  • Groverider says:

    Never even heard of Poznan in my pants rbh, this is pretty far from a definitive list of Arsenal blogs. What about A cultured left foot? Untold Arsenal? Arse2mouse? Gingers 4 Limpar? Goonerholic? Gunnerblog? East Lower? Even that rabid nutter Wenger hater over at Arsenal Truth? If you’re gonna do something Dyllan, best do it properly mate ;)

    January 18, 2014 at 9:24 am
    • goonerdyllan says:

      At no point did I say it was a definitive list, it was more of a guide to the views. There was a graphic demonstrating the spectrum with PA on far left and She Wore on far right but James put up Transpotting instead which is fine since its a visual masterpiece.

      I may add more blogs but it was just a quick article in response to some of the abuse friends had been getting by people clearly reading the wrong blog.

      January 18, 2014 at 10:55 am
      • Groverider says:

        Fair enough, maybe it would’ve made more sense with the graphic. Editorial control.. it’s worth fighting for ;)
        Either way essentially it’s Wenger that is the dividing factor between these blogs which can be as you pointed out be divided into the loony left (those which will not question nor hear no ill of Wenger) the centre (those which criticise rationally when it needs doing and praise likewise) and the rabid frothing right wing (any excuse to have a dig at Wenger)

        To be fair Le Grove has moderated now things have improved but watch their comments section descend into abuse, xenophobia and just all round unpleasantness when/if it goes tits up. Still probably classed on the right of things.

        Left = ACLF, Untold Arsenal, positively Arsenal

        centre = Arseblog, goonerholic G4L, Arse2mouse, Gunnerblog
        7am kick off

        Right = Arsenal action, Arsenal truth, Le Grove and maybe She wore – to be fair I don’t really read she wore enough to make a call so basing that on your assessment.

        January 18, 2014 at 12:47 pm
        • goonerdyllan says:

          The lack of accompanying picture was through no fault of James, WordPress was uncooperative in the posting. File format mix-up when I created it, I suspect. The comment section on LeGrove was a despicable haven of intolerable prickishness, fair play to Pedro for having it moderated.

          I may expand this concept to include many more blogs, like I said it was just a quick response piece after seeing friends abused.

          SheWore has a trio of writers but I chose GC as he is the most well known due to his Twitter and Podcasting exploits.

          As always, thanks to James for hosting this on his site.

          January 18, 2014 at 1:25 pm
          • Groverider says:

            Conversely the comment section on Le Grove was precisely such a despicable haven of intolerable prickishness because of
            the nature of many of the posts. Specifically by Pedros’ blog partner Geoff. A blog does not garner such a horde of angry dwarves for no reason so really they made their bed….
            Geoff seems to have disappeared off the radar anyway as
            a) we’re doing very well at present.
            b) his black cab trade must be picking up.

            January 18, 2014 at 2:56 pm
  • nijjy says:

    my favorites are arseblog, le grove arsenal, 7 am kickoff, arse2mouse and armchair gooner.

    January 18, 2014 at 9:53 am
  • gf60 says:

    So why’s Untold Arsenal not here?

    January 18, 2014 at 10:58 am
  • LeBigMac says:

    Nice post Dyllan, very informative, however you did spell hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia incorrectly, it is actually hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia……. Always remember, DOUBLE P!!

    ;-)

    January 18, 2014 at 11:46 am
    • goonerdyllan says:

      Oh what a fool I’ve been! Thank you for the kind words though.

      January 18, 2014 at 1:29 pm
  • Jack says:

    The blog from the Triangle Gooners supporters club in the US is a solid read. DannyCClemens does a great job.

    January 18, 2014 at 2:26 pm
  • Admir says:

    goonerdyllan, have you read anything on Bergkampesque or at AllArsenal.com?

    January 18, 2014 at 6:41 pm
  • James 'Raul' Stokes says:

    @Groverider: I’ve long had the theory that Pedro and Geoff are in fact the same person.

    January 19, 2014 at 1:00 am
    • Admir says:

      The same person? Like Roy and Aaron from “The Primal Fear”? When Richard Gere asks Edward Norton:

      “So there never… there never was a Geoff? ?” and Norton replies with devilish grin:

      “Jesus Christ, James. If that’s what you think, I’m disappointed in you. There never was a Pedro either… “

      January 19, 2014 at 1:15 am
  • GOONERKAM says:

    Nice job DYLAN. fun read all around. Lets hope George still talks to you after you call him a shitehawk. (0(

    January 19, 2014 at 3:54 am

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