Hello, you delightful bunch of scoundrels.
Before we begin, I thought I’d offer you a little insight into my mind. Recently, I was asked to write a report for Arseblog news. To say I’m rather proud of that would be an understatement. Arseblog is the standard to which I aspire. It’s a huge, well read site that’s full of good stuff. Mine is not. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of speaking with Andrew, you’ll know he’s a extremely amiable fellow – even when confronted with Daniel Cowan’s relentless homosexual advances.
All the above is irrefutable, yet my mind is not my greatest ally. During the writing of that inconsequential piece, and even now, I was hit with the compulsion to cast my report to one side and post a picture of my penis accompanied by a jolly poem. At one point I had to compose myself enough to fight temptation. I am an odd individual.
Note: Andrew, if by some reason you’re reading this, I am joking. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t post a picture of my penis on Arseblog. I swear to you. I promise. You’re absolutely safe from that. There’s no need to worry at all.
Right, onto the game.
Having hilariously dispatched Liverpool over the weekend, it’s safe to say Hull City will make the trip to The Emirates buoyed by good fortune. Whilst many consider them to be relegation certainties and an easy 3 points tonight, I do not. These are the games that cause me concern; the ones we all know should be relatively easy.
The team news is quite interesting. Quite a few reports out there are confirming Bacary Sagna has hamstring trouble and will be replaced by Carl Jenkinson. The Ox and Podolski are still on the mend – the latter said to have suffered a small injury setback and unlikely to return to full training until next week at some point. Abou Diaby has retired from football and joined Yaya Sanogo on a quest to visit as many Karaoke bars in the space of the coming year. By all accounts, their rendition of Unchained Melody is quite lovely.
Rotation is expected tonight. With a tough fixture against Everton on Sunday, it is reported by many that Arsene might mix up the pack a little and rest Mertesacker, Ozil and Wilshere to name but a few. I think it’s a good idea to allow a few players on the periphery a chance at establishing their credentials for a regular spot, but not to the extent of breaking up team harmony.
That said, Mr Wenger knows a fair amount more than I, so should be choose to bring in the changes, who I am to dispute it? A blogger, that’s who. We love to pretend we’d do better in the hotseat, don’t we…
My guess at the line-up:
Arsenal should win. Performing the the height of their capabilities, Arsenal should win comfortably. Gone are the days (hopefully) of terrifying evenings at The Emirates that involve 56 shots on target and a 1-1 draw. There is a greater stability and professionalism to the team these days.
However, we can ill-afford to take Hull as anything but a good opponent. They have amassed 17 points already and sit comfortably in mid table. Few would have expected that, so we can’t take them lightly. Steve Bruce might be the kind of c**t upon which all other c**ts are judged, but he will set up his team to compete and be difficult to break down.
I shall go for a 3-0 victory with the occasional scare. Not to scary though, Arsenal. I frighten easily and it’s always embarrassing for a grown man to whimper. The betting odds are stacked in Arsenal’s favour. You can find the odd football-based site amongst the various sites for betting on Super Bowl.
That’s all for today, folks. Please use the comments to offer me up some of your opinions on the team. What selection would you like to see? How do you predict the game going? Let me know.
As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.