The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

Mario Balotelli and friends. Giroud says “No” to new striker and happy NYE to one and all.

It became clear why Mario wasn’t welcome at AC Milan.

Afternoon, lovelies.

New Year’s Eve; the one day of the year in which you absolutely must go out amidst the jostling jocundity of pubs, bars and clubs and have a good time. You must go. You simply must. Even though prices are inflated and the average establishment has little or no breathing space having crammed in as many willing bodies as is humanly possible, you simply can’t miss out on the greatest night of the yea.

B*llocks.

I loathe enforced NYE celebrations, and I’m not especially keen to spend the evening with maudlin folk intent upon blathering endlessly about promises they won’t keep for longer than a day. Unless there’s a phone call from Scarlet Johansson asking me to an exclusive party as her chaperone, I shall be avoiding it at all costs.

So what’s new today? Well… Not a great deal at present. NYE celebrations bring in 2014, and with that comes all the glory and falsification of the transfer window. Speculation and mendacious talk has been brewing quietly in recent weeks. Once that clock chimes the midnight hour and we usher in a new year, expect the ‘exclusives’ and the ‘scoops’ to go into overdrive.

Arsene himself has stated that we’re on the look out for a special player. You know the type; the one’s with top, top quality… Speaking to the press he ruled out a another move for Luis Suarez, but stated we are interested in doing some business:

“Yes of course. There won’t be any approach, no.

“We are as many clubs, certainly on alert. If something special turns up, we will not turn it down.

“But we are not as well desperate because we have a big depth in our squad. We have shown that because our midfield for example at West Ham and at Newcastle was completely different. We changed three players and we still managed to have a very strong team.”

I always think that’s Arsene covering all bases. He says we will act if the “right” player comes along.  Of course, that player may not come along. They may not even exist. Whether or not we do any business over the next month could go either way as far as I’m concerned, but there has been some ‘big’ names mentioned. Mario Balotelli paramount amongst those.

The bat-sh*t crazy Italian forward is said to be eager to leave AC Milan in January according to his agent. Once any story of that ilk emerges, there’s a simple equation I’m certain the tabloid press apply:

Player alleged to be leaving + team that needs striker = HUGE EXCLUSIVE!

It shouldn’t go without saying that that story has been thoroughly debunked by the same agent alleged to have leaked it in the first place. All a load of egregious balderdash. Honestly…

It certainly got chins wagging, however. Regardless of the likelihood, Arsenal fans do love a little bit of speculation. Some thought Arsene would be the man to tame Balotelli’s burning fires of insanity. Others considered a move for the Italian to be as sensible as setting your penis on fire and trying to write your name in the dark. I was firmly in the latter of those two camps. The guy undoubtedly has talent in abundance and can be quite brilliant when the mood takes him. But that mood occurs arbitrarily, and for the most part he’s immeasurably more trouble than he’s worth. Perhaps Arsene could subdue his madness, but I doubt it. Many have tried before with no success.

One person against purchasing a new forward player is Olivier Giroud. Quoted by French TV station, Canal+, he said (allegedly):

“If the coach wants me to rest, he can do it without buying a new striker.

“Lukas Podolski is having a good comeback. Theo Walcott can play as a striker. We have the quality and the quantity.

“I would rather not see a new striker come in.”

I can already guess how some will interpret that. I can imagine howls of derision and the more vitriolic amongst you assuming he can’t take the competition, or just wants to keep his place. I don’t think that’s the case at all. I think he’s giving the best answer he could and not casting any aspersions on his teammates. Perhaps he is right in a way. We don’t know the effect a new face could have on the team, and our spirit and togetherness is pretty damn good at present.

But hey – that’s all talk. Sometimes it’s interesting to read and talk about. I can’t say I don’t enjoy the whole soap opera of it all from time to time. Tomorrow we face Cardiff at The Emirates, and that’s what is truly important. Tomorrow I shall be writing a preview of that game for you all to enjoy and gaze upon with wonderment. Until then, drop me a comment below with your thoughts on all the above. I’m sure some will have their angry thoughts to plaster across my site. All persuasions and opinions are welcome, but if you starting getting offensive, I’ll start changing the content of your remarks to something I see fit. I’m a bit of a d*ck like that…

As always: thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

(Please note: “beautiful bastards” is a term of endearment. I understand that can be lost in translation with some of my readers, but I’d like to assure you all it’s simply just Bristolian humour. I call everyone that, and I only ever mean it in the nicest way)

Category: Arsenal
  • lance says:

    giroud is afraid of losing his place. he is an over rated striker who should be paying for a team like the spuds. adebayor over giroud any day of the week in my opinion

    December 31, 2013 at 1:48 pm
  • James 'Raul' Stokes says:

    @lance:

    I wouldn’t take Adebayor over Giroud if it meant all the tea in China.

    And I love tea…

    December 31, 2013 at 1:55 pm
  • LeBigMac says:

    Not sure there are many available that would be worth while buying unless they come with more baggage than Cruella DeVille. And unless I am missing something, why is it that the press think Arsene has some kind of magic wand that can tame players? Has he done it of any note before? I’m not sure (would be good if someone could answer that for me)
    Maybe a loanee would be the way to go. I love Olivier to bits but he has missed a few sitters so that means one thing, he is off the pace. Let’s face it, you don’t turn shit just because you aren’t covering yourself in glory. You still have talent, it’s just eluding you.
    The team needs a player who can get ion the end of things right away, someone who can give Olivier some time to get back into his stride.
    Mind you this is only my opinion…..

    Secondly, I couldn’t agree with you more about New Years eve. An abhorrent time of the year to go out. Be surrounded by fucktards who only venture out at this time of year, be herded like sheep and charged a fortune for the pleasure of it.
    A thoroughly dreadful night.
    I shall too shall stay in and probably party like its 2014 tomorrow!
    Happy new year Stookes!

    December 31, 2013 at 2:11 pm
  • lopez says:

    Giroud is a good striker but i feel that he is not as affective as aplayer with more pace and experience….Giroud is more like Cole from West Ham, a player with strenght, good in the air and can hold the ball well…if giroud played with another striker with pace then things would be different

    December 31, 2013 at 2:44 pm
    • deen says:

      Lopez, u are just so right to this regard, am wondering y Wenger z do bigheaded, hez wasting walcots pace on the wing, if he wants a natural winger, Ben arfa of Newcastle, if theo was playing behind Girioud, it would be different, and hez a better finisher than Giroud…we only need a player with pace, I guess Lioc Remy would do…in my opinion.

      December 31, 2013 at 2:57 pm
  • Matt says:

    Thanks for the writings this year Jimmy Jam, I always enjoy and appreciate your work!

    December 31, 2013 at 3:16 pm
  • mohamed aziz says:

    I suspect giroud is a mouth piece for arsen who as usual is reluctant as ever to sign in january but we really and badlly need a striker to clinch this pl trophy this time around next season will see us in bigger competition to land it

    December 31, 2013 at 5:34 pm

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