This is the 5th time I’ve written an opening line. The previous 4 attempts were deleted to the soundtrack of derisory snorts and bellows of dissatisfaction. I’m having one of those day in which I’m unsure how to begin. Not entirely sure why. Sometimes it just happens; the ordinarily trusty brainbox doesn’t want to engage at all. Initially I figured I was tired and I’m often easily distracted when I’m feeling that wa…
*Remembers there’s a pack of chocolate Digestives in the cupboard*
We are sorry for the temporary pause in today’s blog. This is due to unforeseen circumstances which primarily involve the author being a catastrophic arse who’s far more occupied with delicious chocolate biscuits and the flagon of tea brewed to accompany them. At this point, your blog post should be in the process of being written. It is not and we offer our most sincere apologies. Normal service will resume shortly.
Thank you for your interest in our affairs
James’ many maladies
Right, on with today’s fluff.
I’ll begin with something positive. Positivity is good and in the current atmosphere of smoggy sh*t, it’s a welcome surprise. That which has me positive is Lucas Perez. Of greater pertinence is the frequency with which I’d like to see him play. You know, because I’m someone who can make demands of the Arsenal management.
He’s impressed me every time I’ve seen him on the pitch for a good period of time. Perez is the sort of player that combines quickness of foot with quickness of mind. On many occasions I watched him perform flicks and through balls that had me cooing the phrase, “Oh, you cunning, devious little bastard”. You might even liken some of them to Bergkamp’s, and I believe that is the highest compliment you can pay any footballer. Ever. Dennis Bergkamp is the highest accolade one can bestow upon anyone or anything.
Of course, I’m not comparing the two – you can stop sharpening your swords and preparing nasty things to call me. I merely suggest that our Spanish friend has a little of that genius in him. I think he’s been a great addition. The team has looked to have better balance with a natural left-footer in the wide areas and he deserves to be given a good run of games in the first team. You know, because I’m someone who can make demands of the Arsenal management.
I think it’s fair to say Walcott and Iwobi have gone of the boil a little recently so a change in attack is a good idea. Freshen things up. Add a little spice and touch of the unexpected. Do something different. God knows we could use something to raise a smile and the moment. Come on, Arsene – give him a decent run of games. You know, because I’m someone who can make demands of Ars…
You get the picture.
The other thing I noticed recently during my internet travels was the farce that surrounds ‘Fan TVs”. Now, I’m sure you’re all aware I’m not a fan of the Arsenal variation of that theme. I find it’s simply an avenue in which one man wheels out bewildered sorts and the apoplectic and asks them to dance to earn him money. I read somewhere – probably Twitter – that it’s deemed by the *owners to be representative of all Arsenal fans; a glorious, welcoming avenue giving them a voice to air their frustrations and concerns. That, my friends, is world-class horsesh*t. 7-8 people picked purely for their ability to stir controversy is not the voice of millions. And certainly not mine or any of the people I know that support Arsenal.
*(I may be paraphrasing that ever-so-slightly, but it was words to that effect)
The best analogy at my disposal I can employ to describe Arsenal Fan TV is this; it’s Arsenal equivalent of TOWIE – I’ve added the link for any of you guys not from the UK who may not have heard of it before. In a nutshell; it’s a bunch of deplorably stupid people who gained fame through being stupid. The joke being they’re all too stupid to realise that they’re only famous for being stupid. It’s the sign of our time; stupid people get famous quickly.
I say all that, and I stand by it. However, the recent calls for them to be banned from the stadium is wrong. I don’t like them, nor do I care for what they stand for, but they’ve every right to be there. It’s their opinions and views. Irrespective of my disagreement, they shouldn’t ever be banned or stopped recording.
It’s all about accepting other people’s opinions, whether you think they’re stupid or not. For all I know, one of the Fan TV guys might think I’m a prick. They’d probably be right. Whichever one might say it, whether that be the angry old one, the guy with too many tattoos, the one dressed as a child, the one with a vocabulary limited to 5 words or the pretentious jackass who thinks he’s a football accountant; the point remains the same. They have all the right in the world to be where they are and have their opinions.
Elsewhere there’s the usual anti-Wenger diatribes and angry bleating. Sometimes it feel the Arsenal community online has become one enormous parody of itself. It’s all gotten so relentlessly stupid and pointless. I replied to a comment yesterday in which I said I have no idea how I’d feel if Arsene left. He’s a great man who doesn’t deserve any of the cretinous abuse he gets, but on the other hand I can’t shake the feeling we need to change something, and that something is him. It’s the same results on the pitch and the same ridiculous arguments off it every season.
I love that man without condition. He gave us The Invincibles and countless other wonderful moments. Above everything, he should be remembered for that. My hope is we pull together as a team an win one of the cups we’re left in and we do it for him. I’d love nothing more than to see him leave on a high note.
On that note, I’m off. I’e rambled enough for today. Onto work and other such gainful pursuits. The comments await your thoughts below. Start a conversation, share you views and generally just be nice to one another.
I’ll be back soon. Until that time, and as always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.