Yesterday the highways of the internet were awash with tales of Gonzalo Higuain’s impending transfer to Arsenal. Today, it’s the turn of Marouane Fellaini. Everton’s Belgian midfielder with the blaxploitation haircut has a £23m release cause, and Arsene Wenger is mulling over meeting it.
We’ve heard this story a few times before, haven’t we?
Likening the current climate in the Arsenal community to Groundhog Day would be cheap and a little too easy. As far as clichéd analogies go, that’s the cream of the crop. I consider it all to be much closer to Dawn of the Dead.
In the Goonersphere, media outlets are taken over with brain-dead hordes of the undead posing as ITKs and spurious football agent accounts. A seemingly unstoppable virus is sweeping across the nation, infecting all in its path with stories of “swoops”, negotiations and insider news. Only a small, brave pocket of resistance remains, and we have to use all means at our disposal to repel the attacks.
I like that idea – especially because my imagination allows me to create a scene in which I cut the entire staff of Caught Offside in half with an AK47 as they shamble toward me murmuring, – “Arsenal to break transfer record in mega deal for this Brazlian wonder-child”.
Foolishness aside, and forgetting that it’s most likely a tall tale of near biblical proporations, I have to admit that I would be immeasurably pleased to see us sign Fellaini. Everton’s prize asset has all the attributes we lack in our midfield. We have plenty of diminutive, cunning little rascals with grace and exemplary ball control, but we lack an imposing figure in there who’s not afraid to get a bit physical when the time is right.
That’s not to say Fellaini is all about simply that. Not at all. The afro-haried angel has plenty of other talents, and is capable of playing in a few different areas across the pitch. “Dynamic” is a word often chosen to stand alongside players of his ilk, and that’s a description I feel is very apt in this case.
Perhaps a deal will materialise some way down the line. There are other potential suitors for his services, so I’d hope the Arsenal act as swiftly as possible. Amongst all the fluff and speculation, are only option is to wait and see.
Elsewhere today, I was doing my customary flicking through news and I came across this picture of what is proposed to be Arsenal’s new away shirt for 2013/2014:
When I browse through news, I have a tendency to see a picture I like, save it, and then forget where I got it from when I use it. I’m very big on ensuring I credit other sources, so I should apologise heartily to whomever it was that featured this image initially – it does make me feel a little better that the picture itself is plastered with text, so it can’t appear as if I’m trying to pass it off as my own.
The shirt, assuming it’s not a fabrication, is said to be an homage to a very similar kit worn by the Invincibles during their season of triumph. It could be true, but the picture does look suspiciously like someone has taken that exact shirt, and switched the sponsorship logos on the front.
Regardless of its legitimacy, I like the idea of Arsenal having a yellow away shirt. Being something of a traditionalist, the Gunners walking out in a blue shirt has never quite sat right with me. Arsenal away from home is, and always should be, yellow.
And on that note, I shall leave you for today. By now you know the drill; the comments await, and I’d like for you to use them to give me your thoughts on Fellaini, zombies, and the picture of our ‘new’ kit. I look forward to reading a few.
As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.
PS – I almost forgot; I recently signed up to Ask.fm, so should you ever be overwhelmed with the urge, you can ask me a few questions. Hopefully, I won’t just be fielding inquiries such as “Why are you so shit?” like I have a feeling I may…