The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

Ramsey Out Until March And A Scolding Coq.

Injured again. Poor old Aaron.

Morning, folks.

Today’s entry will be the briefest of posts as I’ve a few spare moments until I’m forced to subject myself to a booked appointment at the Apple Store. Being unabashedly a luddite, I fully expect whatever troubles I’ve been encountering with my phone to be ridiculously simple to solve and I’ll have a spotty, 17-year-old ‘genius’ looking at me with the kind of pity you’d reserve for a quadruple amputee.

And then I’ll probably be ripped off as well.

So, Arsenal…

The main topic to address is another hamstring injury for Aaron Ramsey. Reports have emerged from many outlets – some reputable, others not so much – that a return to action for the Welshman is looking likely to be 4-6 weeks away. Continue reading

Is David Ospina A Long-Term No.1 For Arsenal?

Your No1?

Afternoon, folks.

Here’s something about our goalkeeping situation written by ‘wonker’.

In the build-up to the derby defeat by Spurs, Arsene Wenger stated that Wojciech Szczesny is still our No.1 goalkeeper. Szczesny has made over 170 appearances for the club, so you can understand why Wenger is still pledging his support for the Pole.

Yet, at the same time, he has made over 170 appearances and has he convinced that he can be consistently relied upon to help us achieve long-term and sustained success?

He’s not started in the Premier League since the 2-0 defeat at Southampton on New Year’s Day. After that game, he was fined having been caught smoking. Continue reading

Ozil, Ospina, Ramsey, Coquelin And A Terrible 3 Points.

“A yellow card for that? Really?!”

Morning, folks.

Yesterday when reviewing the game I said I’d be happy with 3 points no matter how we obtained them. Perhaps that was a touch exaggerated. Winning the match against Leicester was, obviously, of paramount importance. Dropping points at home to the side bottom of the table would have been abject. Yet we didn’t look anything remotely like a solid, cohesive unit last night and allowed our opponents to not only make a game of it, but probably warrant having taken something home with them.

In short, we were sh*t.

Whether the reasons for that stem directly from losing to Spurs is debatable. Some jitters and nerves are expected during a fixture in which winning is vital and that’s often compounded on the back of a defeat. However, more worryingly so, we looked complacent and sloppy far more than jittery.  Continue reading

Leicester City: Team News, Predicted Starting XI And Thoughts.

Ulloa levels the game in the early fixture.

Afternoon, folks.

With tonight’s game being a late kick-off and mainly becuase I was too lazy to do it this morning, your delicious daily update is here a little later than usual. Apologies if you were waiting on tenterhooks at the usual time only to be bitterly disappointed. Both of you.

So, without further ado, let’s get into it.

A win is vital tonight. Wether it be accomplished through free-flowing attacking brilliance and lots of goals or a hideously inept display in which we are rescued by a fortuitous late goal matters not to me – we need the 3 points and I don’t especially care how we get them.

Granted, the former of those two choices is by far the more preferably, and a good display certainly breeds confidence. However, dropping points would be harming to our claim for 4th, so we need to get them above anything else.

I think we might see a little rotation today. Continue reading

The Return Of Alexis Sanchez And Arsenal “Not Switched On”.

“Can someone turn me on, please?”

Morning, folks.

Today finds me still unable to shake to dejection of having lost to Spurs. It really is a bloody awful sensation. Last night I awoke in a cold sweat having dreamt Harry Kane had taken over the universe and created an army of bumbling, barely-literate clones and everywhere I turned I was greeted by one of them talking to me as if there was a giant angry wasp trying to escape from their mouth.

The horror.

That said, tomorrow brings another fixture and the opportunity to exorcise a few of those demons by obtaining 3 delicious points. Leicester aren’t the most formidable of sides on their travels and to compound matters, they’ve just parted company with their manager. Often that can be dangerous, as players suddenly feel the desire to up their performance levels in light of a new face on the horizon. The effect can also be extremely detrimental, piling further turmoil onto what was already far from a bed of roses.

Let’s hope it’s the latter. I don’t care if we scrounge a 1-0 win in the dying minutes having played egregiously as long as we win. That’s all that’s important after a defeat. Continue reading

North London Derby: The Better Team Won.

Arsenal weren’t at the races at all.

Morning, folks.


There certainly aren’t many feelings I can describe worse than the one that envelops me at present. Dejection, temper tantrums and a generally unpleasant demeanour are all side effects of having witnessed Arsenal not only lose the North London derby, but do so without really putting up a fight.

The Manchester City result was a tremendous example of how to approach difficult away games; remain tight and compact when soaking up pressure, but, most importantly of all, do something productive with the ball when we have it. Don’t idly attempt to pass out of defence and gift possession and initiative back to the opponents.

Yesterday was pretty much the antithesis of that performance. For every bit as good as Arsenal were at The Ethiad, we performed equally as badly yesterday at White Hart Lane. That’s the thing I find most difficult to swallow; having seen us display the correct way so proficiently only to regress to being bloody awful again when the pressure is on.  Continue reading

North London Derby: Team News, Predicted Starting XI And Thoughts.

High fives all round again today, please.

Morning, folks.

Days like today fill me with nerves. As I type, there is an audible maelstrom within my midriff and it’s worsening as the minutes tick toward kick-off. My bladder feels like suffering a choke hold at the gigantic hands of a WWE superstar and I’m starting to consider taking up permanent residence on the toilet.

Losing the NLD doesn’t bare thinking about. Losing to that bunch of irksome second-stringers would be tantamount to waking up one morning to find my penis has been replaced with a empty tube of Smarties. In short, folks, I can only envisage an Arsenal victory today because the opposite takes me to a place of sorrow and darkness.

Form will count for little or nothing. Continue reading