Sanchez and Debuchy Done? Not Until The Plump Female Harmonises…

Beautiful Brazil before the explosions…

Morning, folks.

It’s certainly been an eventful few hours…

Starting from an Arsenal perspective, we’ve had some exceedingly good news in the form of reports suggesting we’ve got our men; Mathieu Debuchy and Alexis Sanchez are imminent arrivals, Brilliant news. Awesome news. Fabulous news. But not quite yet fully confirmed news. Most of the stories use the phrase “very hopeful” and “supremely confident”…

We’ve seen deals like this implode at the last seconds – look at Willian to Spurs, for example – and I’m always wary of anything that doesn’t come with a picture of Arsene Wenger and the player holding a shirt together on the Club’s official site.  All signs certainly point to a high possibility, but anything that isn’t 100% could still blow up in our face.  I shan’t be joyously frolicking through any meadows just yet. 

The players themselves would make for superb additions. Debuchy hasn’t usurped Sagna in the French national team without reason and comes with plenty of Premiership experience. Sanchez, of course, is the one to get loins raging with the fires of excitement. If you’ve seen him play for Barcelona or Udinese, you’ll know he’s lightning fast and a constant menace to defenders. The concept of him and Theo darting toward Mesut Ozil through-balls is enough to make even the most moribund Gooner yelp with orgasm.

It’s also a huge signal of intent. Should Sanchez sign on the dotted line, we’ll have secured two ‘world class’ players in a little under a year and that’s something few of us would have predicted Arsene to do at the beginning. We’ve spent many seasons watching Europe’s elite pillage our Club for its prize assets, it’s mighty pleasurable to see the opposite occurring – allegedly… Nothing is confirmed… (I’m going to edit myself in a minute for sounding like such a pessimistic bastard)

Last night was also very good for our German friends in the World Cup. I still can’t quite believe I’ve seen that semi-final, as if the whole thing was some cheese-induced sleep fantasy sponsored by Mesut Ozil’s cheeky smile. A home nation capitulating in such a manner is truly spectacular. As an Arsenal fan, I can relate to the despair those Brazil fans must be feeling after such a thorough and comprehensive beating, but can only assume it’s multiplied by 10 when it happens on your own turf in one of the biggest games in football.

The host nation looked nothing better than average, and defensively were about as poor as I’ve seen in all my years watching the beautiful game. Without Neymar they looked toothless and bereft of creativity upfront and Thiago Silva’s absence left them disorganised at the back. Fred was oddly singled out for vitriol from the crowd for his lack of effort, but by comparison to David Luiz and Marcelo his contribution was inspirational. The entire Brazil back 5 and the holding midfielders are players with significant repute but looked utterly woeful and hapless. I genuinely cannot think of a poorer rear guard performance both individually and collectively and I’ve been trying for the last5 minutes.

Tonight I’ll be watching the other semi-final and expect to see a immeasurably more competitive game. Not being an enormous fan of the Dutch and their loathsome representatives, I’ll be hoping for an Argentina victory because I think Messi and friends would give the Germans a better game in the final. Plus, I’d rather watch my penis burn in a packed shopping mall than see either Robben or van Persie anywhere near lifting the World Cup.

That’s all from me today. A quick nod to this piece written by Jokman about Mesut Ozil’s detractors which is well worth a few moments of your time. The comments await your thoughts below. Take a moment to spill those delicious ponderings all over my site.

I shall be backsoon. As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

9 Comments

  1. Mike Gillon

    “I’d rather watch my penis burn” Absolutely priceless, but I do agree.

    Reply
  2. LeBigMac

    Things could well be on the up!
    Big signings but we will still need a CB if V5 goes, we need a shot stopper and a DM beast to follow in the Flames mould and continue with threats of blinding the opponents if they touch our players again!
    I also agree wholeheartedly with your comments about the dutch team. I too would have no truck with them competing if it weren’t for Van Gaal (The new saviour of football? I mean, really?) Van Badger Cutch Dunt and the Flying Dutchman himself Robben.
    Take them out of the equation and yes, I think Holland are a team worthy of my support but until such times, I shall go with the lesser of the two evils and cheer on the little maestro Messi (but they still can’t have the Falklands back) until the final when I shall be resuming my initial choice of Germany, whom, being a Jock, I chose at the start of the competition! Go Mesut and Per!!

    Good to have your musings back Jamesie boy!

    Reply
  3. 1111

    good luck with debuchy hes a liability

    Reply
  4. Arsenal1Again

    3 times since getting up today have I nearly updated a FB and Twitter status regarding Sanchez and hesitated each time. I just cannot do it, not even with Wenger alleging the deal should be wrapped up this Wednesday … I think any Arsenal fan will understand this and why.

    I expect a couple of more signings to happen, and more if we sell any players.

    Reply
    1. Veer

      Was that a real quote by Wenger saying he would wrap it up by Wednesday? I though that French TV just made it up…

      Reply
  5. Pitch

    Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllppppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  6. Veer

    Ronaldhino + Ronaldo + Maradona + Pele + Zidane = 0 goals this World Cup.
    Lord Fred = 1 goal

    Reply
  7. joy

    I miss u, miss u, miss u, miss u and So miss u James and ur write ups! I really am gonna faint if club football doesnt start soon, because i know thats the major reason you’ve been painfully scarce. Have a great day. Cheers!

    Reply
    1. James 'Raul' Stokes (Post author)

      @Joy: So, I’m guessing you miss me? 🙂

      Reply

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