That Aaron Ramsey is soo hot right now.
Hello, you delightful bunch of scoundrels.
Before we begin, I thought I’d offer you a little insight into my mind. Recently, I was asked to write a report for Arseblog news. To say I’m rather proud of that would be an understatement. Arseblog is the standard to which I aspire. It’s a huge, well read site that’s full of good stuff. Mine is not. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of speaking with Andrew, you’ll know he’s a extremely amiable fellow – even when confronted with Daniel Cowan’s relentless homosexual advances.
All the above is irrefutable, yet my mind is not my greatest ally. During the writing of that inconsequential piece, and even now, I was hit with the compulsion to cast my report to one side and post a picture of my penis accompanied by a jolly poem. At one point I had to compose myself enough to fight temptation. I am an odd individual.
Note: Andrew, if by some reason you’re reading this, I am joking. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t post a picture of my penis on Arseblog. I swear to you. I promise. You’re absolutely safe from that. There’s no need to worry at all.
Right, onto the game. Continue reading
The escort service brought to life Kal-El’s wildest dreams…
Why am I writing at such a peculiar time (10.00pm)? I’m not entirely sure. Usually I’m an early posting kinda guy. Such things allow a degree of regularity and something for folks to expect. These days I’m all over the place.
Truth be told; I’ve just finished watching Man of Steel thanks to the strongest of recommendations from Daniel Cowan. Not a particularly huge fan of DC Comics’ most famous incarnation, I’ve put watching the movie on the back burner. It was superb, and I shall publicly thank Daniel for his frequent slobbering evaluations of the film. I’d go into more detail, but this isn’t a blog about films, and I can already sense a few people feeling the itch to post something abusive in the comments.
Today’s guff is about transfers, and there’s been a slew of rumours. Continue reading
Just a walk to the local shops in Bristol…
The one saving grace of this time of year is football. Were it not for the romance of floodlit stadiums, chilly breath and warm cups of Bovril (I can’t stand Bovril…), emigration is something I would have considered a long time ago. I hate the cold. I don’t just hate it in the carefree, throwaway manner in which that phrase can be used; I loathe it with a passion.
Reports in Bristol suggest that the weather is going to take a turn for the chilly in the next week, and I thank football for being the one and only saving grace. Arsenal, as is often the case, are a love affair that makes most things bearable.
So Arsenal’s current glorious form and lofty perch is a great source of pleasure and a welcome distraction from checking wether my testicles are making a “clink” noise as I’m walking. Monday’s invariably are a tedious day for news. Yesterday’s main talking points would include dropped points for Spurs and United and a resounding defeat against fellow Premiership minnows, Hull City, for Liverpool. Welcome results, I am sure you shall all agree – the latter being more of a testament to how sh*t-awful Liverpool were, as opposed to any great Hull performance. Continue reading
“That row above the dugout; you’re ending up there…”
Yesterday was another in Arsenal’s recent run of fine victories and I was unable to watch a single solitary second of it live. Having scoured through as much of the highlights as I can get my grubby little paws on, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s simply not the same. A rather obvious and pointless conclusion to make, but a conclusion nonetheless. Big Ted watched the game in it’s entirety, and gave an in depth report when I got home. He’s good natured like that.
Had I been asked by any of you before kick-off if a point at Cardiff would have been a successful outcome, I doubt you’d have heard many complaints. Both Manchester teams travelled to Wales’ capital and only returned with a point between them. With a vociferous and intimidating support it is certainly not an easy place to go. Continue reading
Great performance from Jack with 2 goals.
Morning, you delicious bunch of so-and-sos, you.
It was a fairly enjoyable game last night. I say “fairly” because – I’ll be honest here – I expected a little more. Now, hold your tounges for a moment, folks. I’m not wishing to be ungrateful or disparage the team in any way. My sentiment is simple; Marseille were there for the taking and we could have battered them if the mood took us.
I’m not going to write an in-depth review of all the game’s key moments as I’ve actually, for once, already done one. Yesterday’s report on Arseblog News was penned by yours truly. Instead I’m going to focus my efforts on discussing a few individual performances. Continue reading
Rival fans sent a message to the Spurs board before they thought about sacking AVB.
It’s bloody cold. Here in glorious Bristol, the weather has taken a turn for the brisk and chilly. My humble abode is an old town house that doesn’t have double glazing. Should the wind strike my lovely home at the correct angle, it’s like residing in Superman’s fortress of solitude.
Even Big Ted is complaining, and he’s usually well insulated by his dungarees. Big Ted is my bear, in case you’re wondering. Yes – I’m a grown man. Yes – I still have my teddy bear from birth. Deal with it. Continue reading
Artur Boruc didn’t stay upset with himself for long.
Afternoon, one and all.
Yesterday’s victory was a funny one. Not it the least because of Artur Boruc’s hilariously awful attempt at channeling the skill of Rivaldo when in possesion. It’s fair to say that Southampton’s keeper made a complete mug of himself, and a bigger gift we are unlikely to receive all season.
The reason I called the game “funny” is not primarily becuase of hilarity, but also peculiarity. Arsenal didn’t perform to the height of our ability, we didn’t create many chances and were put under pressure in periods by a very good Southampton side. By no stretch of the imagination was it a vintage, jarring performance, yet it accompanied the very thing that is most important of all; 3 delicious points. Yesterday’s victory was peculiar because it was comfortable and slightly disappointing at the same time. Continue reading
A repeat of last season’s fixture wouldn’t go amiss…
It’s a beautiful, crisp sunny day in Bristol. Boosted by the irregular occurrence of having an entire weekend to myself, I’m looking forward to watching the game today. With all the bizarre times fixtures are played these days in conjunction with the whim of money-bragging sponsors, there’s still nothing better for me that kick-off at 3pm on a Saturday. Not one for tradition ordinarily, I make an exception just this once.
Now all the interminable tedium of the international break has finally been cast aside, it’s time to focus on ‘real’ football. A few people seem to take offence at that remark, as if the use of the word ‘real’ unfairly casts aspersions on the World Cup and qualifiers. It probably does, but I don’t care. Give me The Arsenal over any England fixture every day of the week. Continue reading
Real men don’t flirt with transfers.
Morning, you lot.
There’s much going on today, and I have precious little time. This post will not contain all that much of my now-customary blathery beginnings, but like a sexual encounter mere moments before I’m due to leave for work, I’ll get to the important stuff as quickly as possible.
First of all, I suggest you all have a look-see at this rather wonderful interview with Santi Cazorla from The Guardian (Not that bloody awful Kevin Costner film, but the newspaper). Our Spanish friend talks about everything from the signing of Mesut Ozil to the Club’s chances of winning the league. My favourite part was this quote regarding the recent defeat at Old Trafford: Continue reading
Media bias shocked even the calmest of characters.
Me again, back again. I know you’re pleased to see/read me. Before we begin, I have a confession to make; I watched exactly zero of last night’s international football, and if there was a pop quiz regarding the events, I would fail it miserably.
I’m not ashamed. My primary concern is how many Arsenal players come back to London Colney unscathed. That is all. England could have defeated Germany with a performance so mesmerising that 90% of the supporters present left in an unshakable trance for all I know.
I’m just pleased that Club football is on the agenda now. Continue reading