I’ve been a busy bumblebee today preparing silliness and such for the latest episode of the Goonersphere Podcast. Having completed those and recorded the show, it’s a pleasure to bring you episode 22. Joining myself and Daniel Cowan this week we have these loveable scamps:
Craig Hayward (@craighaywarddj)
Up for discussion is our recent poor results, positives and what Arsenal would look like if Twitter was in charge. Plus usual features “Listeners Questions”, “Goonersphere Shoutout” and “Goonersphere Prick of the Week”.
This podcast is explicit in nature and is probably not suitable for children, unless you are a really bad parent or a really cool one depending how you look at it.
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Today; thanks for listening, you beautiful bastards.
“Shut up, Ashton, you enormous tool”
Apologies straight away as this post will lack what is my customary format. At present I’m scandalously ignoring tasks at work I ought not be to bring you today’s entry from my iPhone – a pursuit which is an abominable pain in my arse, I might add.
Thinking. That’s what I’ve been doing a great deal of since Saturday’s hapless capitulation and resulting farrago of rage and bitterness. Making sense of the whole epic mess isn’t especially easy. In fact, it’s impossible. I challenge anyone to process the events and come up with a list of rational explanations for what our eyes witnessed. I sure as hell can’t.
The interesting thing for me, at least, is the quickness in which opinion of Arsene Wenger can change, almost instantaneously in some cases. With news circulating about him intending to step down in the summer, it would appear those with hatred towards the man will get what they want. If you believe such things, that is. Continue reading
“Give us a cuddle, Sol”
Tomorrow, as you all undoubtedly know, is Arsene Wenger’s 1000th game in charge of first team matters at Arsenal. Today, bloggers, podcasters and journalists are sure to bombard you with glowing tributes and recollections of Arsenal’s glory days under the reign of the mercurial Frenchman.
I was going to join in and wax lyrical, but, in all honesty, I find some of it a touch maudlin. Don’t get me wrong; I’m far from one of those characters you meet that are anti-Arsene in every way imaginable, I’m just not really the sycophantic, droolingly effusive type. Well… I can be, but I’m really pressed for time today and I need to get to the oint. Forgive me.
Doubtless to say, there will be many of these today, but here is my favourite XI of players Arsene has brought to Arsenal – Dennis Bergkamp is not listed because it wasn’t Arsene who signed him, even if Dennis was an integral part of the initial success of his time here. Same applies to Adams, Keown, Dixon, Winterburn and Seaman, all of whom would be included was this an XI of the greatest players during Arsene’s time at Arsenal. Ashley Cole isn’t included because… well… f*ck him. Continue reading
Arsenal’s medical team didn’t take kindly to interruptions when experimenting on Diaby
Writing a daily blog can be a pursuit of the tricky variety. Some mornings I wake up with hundreds of ideas floating around my head and the time it takes me to put words onto the screen is very short. Other days, I sit behind the screen of my iMac with a vacant look on my face hoping inspiration will strike. Needless to say, today is deep-seated in the latter category.
What has popped into my head is all the talk regarding injuries to vital members of the team. You’d be forgiven for the thinking the injury Gods regularly meet and devise ways they can remove our players from the pitch such is the frequency of the occurrence. However, given that it’s something that happens with painful inevitability, perhaps it’s more pertinent to question some of the methods deployed by Arsene on the training pitch and the competence of our medical staff. Continue reading
Jack’s grace and curious facial expression will be sorely missed.
Picture the scene; a tall, gangly Bristoilan barely able to keep his eyes open is writing this post at 3am. Having spent the night playing poker and occasionally bursting into glorious dance to records by Ke$ha - that happened, deal with it – I’m absolutely shattered, but instead of heading to a deserved slumber, I’m jotting this preview for you.
Dedicated, aren’t I? Well.. truth be told, folks; I can’t face having to get up to write this in time for the game today, so I’m boldly pushing through the exhaustion and the urge to dance again to do it whilst I have the will.
The game today is massive to such an extent I daren’t allow myself to ponder the ramifications should the result not be favourable. Arsenal are in 3 competitions and, realistically, two of them are beyond us – the league not so much, but the Champions League will need divine intervention to enable progression. Continue reading
“Yaya, what have I told you about leaning back before you strike the ball?!”
Apologies for the lateness of post again today. You may lay the blame at the door of my future wife this time. Truthfully, I’m glad of the extra time to write today’s entry. There’s a bewildering ocean of opinion out there and without a little time to think for yourself it would be easy to sink to the bottom.
Losing at Stoke is bad enough. Accusations of “roughing us up” and howls of derision aimed toward the dubious penalty award might be justified in some respects, but the bottom line is Arsenal didn’t play well, didn’t create chances and, on the whole, looked lethargic and disinterested. As much as I can understand the need to find an explanation that enables the blame to be put elsewhere, it is absolutely wrong. We can hold responsible no one other than the players that took to the field. Continue reading
Mesut waited patiently for Oliver Holt to exit The Mirror’s offices.
Unabashedly, I have days where finding a topic to discuss, or scribing something remotely salient, escapes me. When these days arise, as one has currently, there’s a figure sat behind the keyboard of this blog with an incredibly stupid look on his face, as if someone has turned his power off and left him there. That’s me,folks; a motionless idiot. For a good period of time I have stared into the abyss hoping for inspiration.
I didn’t blunder across one story that raised a smile. According to certain reports, Mesut Ozil ran over a reporter. It’s funny just reading it. By all acounts, it’s a whole lot of nothing which is a little disappointing in a way. Imagine the hilarity had he hit Mirror sensationalist, Oliver Holt. I picture Mesut speeding away into the sunset leaving only a crumpled heap of Holt and a fractured alice-band on the side of the road. Priceless. Continue reading
The Ox wheels away in delight. Nice legs, Speroni…
Just what the Doctor ordered. A delicious, spirit-enriching victory was consumed by supporters yesterday and now all is right in the world. Birds sing, the sky is blue, children frolic in meadows. Happy days.
Perhaps that’s taken it a little too far. Drawing at Southampton was greeted with such incredible dismay that I just assume a routine, relatively formulaic victory at home would be received in the opposite manner. Can you imagine what will happen if we lose or win in a big game? The mind boggles.
Beating Crystal Palace yesterday was expected. Home fixtures against sides considerably lower down the league table invariably are. Continue reading
“There’s a new rumour out! SCRAMBLE!!”
There’s quite the abundance of rumour today. As the horrors of January’s window head into the last stretch, everything becomes heightened; speculation doubles, hopes rise and the whole sorry saga transforms into farce. As an Arsenal fan hoping to see our title bid bolstered by a new addition, I’m finding myself at the point of beginning to hope we might do something.
Arsene certainly is a wily character. He’s not known for being one that offers anything other to the Press than what he wants the world to hear. Behind closed doors his activity – or lack of – is guarded with secrecy – I like to think of him as the Christopher Nolan of the footballing world. Le Boss might say one thing, but you can never truly be sure wether it’s the truth, or simply just the cautious I-don’t-want-to-say-anything-that’ll-f*ck-things-up approach.
The rumours surrounding Julian Draxler won’t relent. Continue reading
Tumble along, tumbly tumbleweeds.
Out there it’s a desolate wasteland of news. As we head towards the weekend things are sure to pick up as team news for Friday trickles out and we all try to guess who’ll play in the FA Cup against Coventry. Until then, I’m a little at a loss regarding subject matter today.
So, perhaps foolishly, I looked to Twitter for guidance – an idea about as sensible as setting your foot on fire and trying to kick yourself in the face. What horrors awaited me when I gazed helplessly at my timeline? Well… other than some incredibly puerile remarks attributed to Big Ted (not me in any way, I can assure you of that), I was met with furious debates raging for hours at a time regarding contract offer – allegedly – presented to Arsene Wenger and a bumper offer being readied for Julian Draxler. Continue reading