It’s not often I offer you wonderful people the luxury of a bonus post, but today I’ll doing exactly that. David Beckham’s retirement from football is huge news. It may not be the kind of news any of us particularly care about all that much, but it’s news of enormity regardless.
There are many things I like to do; read, think, bet on sports, watch movies, consume copiously, engage in carnal practices with enchanting maidens and I do like to compile the odd bullet-point list on occasion.
You see, folks – I’ve always had a soft spot for David Beckham. I know that type of statement will be met with vitriol by quite a few of you, but I do remain an unabashed fan. He has been an excellent ambassador for English football, and in a game filled to the brim with rapists, racists, thugs and fat idiots who enjoy pensioner sex, he is one of the very few who can be considered a good role model for children.
So, with that in mind, it’s time for a rather pointless list that I’m doing primarily for my own enjoyment. It will feature a few of my favourite Beckham moments that in someway relate to Arsenal.
- The alleged remark that caused Alex Ferguson to throw a football boot at him was after we had won an FA Cup tie at Old Trafford. I paraphrase, but reports suggest he said “You just got mugged again by Arsene Wenger on national television”
- He’s offered words of praise and support to many of our younger players during the times he has trained with the club.
- He took Darren Anderton’s position in the national team. A position that hopeless second-stringer from Spurs only inhabited on account of Glenn Hoddle’s moronic bias and inability to see a completely useless player when presented with one.
- That free-kick against Greece is probably the only non-Arsenal goal I have ever cheered.
- He puts a smile on my Mum’s face – the saucy old cow.
- His aftershave got me laid once.
- Ermmmm… That’s about it.
So, I will finish this little extra piece by putting the floor open to you. As an Arsenal fan, do you respect David Beckham’s accomplishments and his persona? Do you hate him just because he is David Beckham? Do you have a favourite moment?
Let me know in the comments, and thanks for reading again, you beautiful bastards.