The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

David Beckham’s retirement: an Arsenal perspective.

Wilshere, Beckham and Podolski: BFFs

Evening all.

It’s not often I offer you wonderful people the luxury of a bonus post, but today I’ll doing exactly that. David Beckham’s retirement from football is huge news. It may not be the kind of news any of us particularly care about all that much, but it’s news of enormity regardless.

There are many things I like to do; read, think, bet on sports, watch movies, consume copiously, engage in carnal practices with enchanting maidens and I do like to compile the odd bullet-point list on occasion.

You see, folks – I’ve always had a soft spot for David Beckham. I know that type of statement will be met with vitriol by quite a few of you, but I do remain an unabashed fan. He has been an excellent ambassador for English football, and in a game filled to the brim with rapists, racists, thugs and fat idiots who enjoy pensioner sex, he is one of the very few who can be considered a good role model for children.

So, with that in mind, it’s time for a rather pointless list that I’m doing primarily for my own enjoyment. It will feature a few of my favourite Beckham moments that in someway relate to Arsenal.

  • The alleged remark that caused Alex Ferguson to throw a football boot at him was after we had won an FA Cup tie at Old Trafford. I paraphrase, but reports suggest he said “You just got mugged again by Arsene Wenger on national television”
  • He’s offered words of praise and support to many of our younger players during the times he has trained with the club.
  • He took Darren Anderton’s position in the national team. A position that hopeless second-stringer from Spurs only inhabited on account of Glenn Hoddle’s moronic bias and inability to see a completely useless player when presented with one.
  • That free-kick against Greece is probably the only non-Arsenal goal I have ever cheered.
  • He puts a smile on my Mum’s face – the saucy old cow.
  • His aftershave got me laid once.
  • Ermmmm… That’s about it.

So, I will finish this little extra piece by putting the floor open to you. As an Arsenal fan, do you respect David Beckham’s accomplishments and his persona? Do you hate him just because he is David Beckham? Do you have a favourite moment?

Let me know in the comments, and thanks for reading again, you beautiful bastards.

More tomorrow.

Beckham at Arsenal, Villa no and Usmanov says all the right things.

“Who wants a lift home with Andre Santos?”

Afternoon, scrumptious creatures of the interweb.

At a time we all yearn to hear definitive transfer news, we have got some. Instead of that news causing euphoria and dancing, I’m afraid what we have is simply a conformation of players we wont¬†be signing.

Both moves for long-term rumoured target, David Villa, and David Beckham have been ruled out by Arsene in typically defiant fashion. Can’t say I’m all that shocked. Barcelona have long been adamant about refusing to allow David Villa to leave. Perhaps our players ought take to their respective Twitter accounts and begin bleating about ‘Arsenal DNA’ and holding players hostage against their will. You know – act as classy as our Catalonian friends.

The Beckham story on the other hand is simply a case of the press adding 2 things together and coming up with a spectacularly inaccurate answer. We have allowed Beckham to use London Colney to work on his fitness before, and there is nothing more to it than that. Signing a 37-year-old player long past his best days wouldn’t add anything to our current squad, and I’m sure our manager knows that.

One quote I took notice of from Arsene’s interview was this:

“We are still trying, but it’s hard to sign players in January who can improve you.”

I’m not sure I agree with that. Demba Ba would have improved our striking options, Lewis Holtby would have improved our midfield options and Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa would have improved us defensively. All 3 were available, and all 3 have moved to new clubs for reasonable prices.

If none of those players interested our manager, or he didn’t consider them to be of the required quality to play for Arsenal, then fair enough. But to say improvements are difficult to find to me sounds a touch defeatist and untrue. For the right price, a club of our stature and history should have little difficulty attracting high quality players.

Elsewhere in the Goonerverse, Alisher Usmanov has once again taken to the press saying all the right things¬†– if in control, he’d be only too happy to pump funds into the club and give Arsene some financial backing.

Sounds appealing, doesn’t it? Well, I’m always dubious of the man. Perhaps it’s his squinty face and nefarious features that fill me with a sense of dread, but I often find myself thinking it all sounds too good to be true. Stan Kroenke may be ‘Silent’ and a constant source of venting for frustrated fans, but there’s a lot of truth in that old adage, “It’s better the devil you know”.

That’s all for today. The comments await your delicious thoughts and opinions on the day’s news. Use ’em – it makes me feel all giddy with joy and important. Thanks for reading today, you beautiful bastards. I shall return tomorrow with a preview of the game against Liverpool.