The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

Quotes, rumours, news, bits, stuff, and other things.

Inspiration? Not today…

Morning folks.

I have a rule; don’t post anything unless you have something to say. Today I’m breaking that rule. I’ve scoured the Interweb for inspiration, only to be left empty handed and sporting a furrowed brow. I’ve consulted Big Ted, hoping for some pearls of wisdom, and all he could muster was silence and a glare that made me feel unsettled (I realise talking to my bear might make me sound mentally unstable, but I don’t especially care).

Most column inches and blog posts are taken up condemning Santi Cazorla’s dive with the kind of misplaced self-righteousness you only find from football fans. I myself wouldn’t deny he dived – I didn’t yesterday – but I’d be lying if I said it bothered me. The whole debate strikes me as a little silly; there aren’t many clubs that can claim to be free of simulation, so why the indignation when an opponent does it? It’s the joys of being biased, I guess. I’d scream bloody murder if such a thing happened to Arsenal, but I’ll gladly admit one of our players dived, and then carry on not caring about it.

Those column inches not dedicated to excessive writhing in the hope of penalties are filled with rumour and gossip. January isn’t far away now, so the speculation juggernaut is going up through the gears. From beneath the rocks they’ve hibernated, the ‘ITKs’ will resurface. You know the type I mean; they try to appear important by stating things like this:

“Walcott having medical at Anfield. Arsenal will make one last bid to keep him. The player favours Liverpool. My source at the club is rarely wrong”.

Or this:

“Arsenal have signed Klass-Jan Huntelaar for £7m. Deal to be announced Friday. If it doesn’t happen, I will never post again”

I’ve been around the Blogosphere long enough to know the spurious accounts on Twitter when I see them. My mind’s eye pictures those responsible as wretched creatures sat in a darkened room desperately trying to obtain some level of attention and notoriety by praying on the many fans out there who just want news – Caught Offside is the worst example of this I’ve ever seen.

There’s no avoiding them. They’ve already started their tales of “insider knowledge” and false declarations of being football agents. If you are someone looking for news, my advice would be this: don’t believe anything you read unless it come with a confirmation on the Club’s official site.

All I’ll ever do is discuss the merits of some players mentioned. What you won’t find me doing is purposefully providing you with false information, or inventing things to get my lovely site a few more hits. I’m a considerate fellow, I am.

Right. I’m off to bed. That may sound odd given the time this post will go live (8am), but I’m writing and scheduling the night before.

I’ll finish with a question: What the most ludicrous transfer rumour you’ve ever heard? The comments below await a few of your answers.

Thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards. I shall return tomorrow with a preview of the big one; Bradford in the Capital One Cup.

Vermaelen, Koscielny, Zaha, Big Ted, news, rumours, and other bits.

A fully grown man who still has his teddy bear? Yes – I am peculiar.

Morning folks.

A while ago i considering having a mascot for this blog – the bear I’ve had since birth, Big Ted. Having initially decided against that idea, I’ve now changed my mind. The Armchair Gooner has a mascot – he’s a dapper gentleman bear with a deep-seeded love for Arsenal, and an unrivalled hatred for Piers Morgan . You can follow him on Twitter. Make him feel welcome…

Onto Arsenal matters.

It was confirmed today that Laurent Koscielny’s groin strain will keep him out of the first team for a period of 3 weeks – a time frame I ignore completely as, in Arsenal terms, it could mean anything from 20 minutes to eternity. It’s a shame for Koscielny, as he’s just started to show signs of his best form, and he doesn’t seem as blunder-prone as Sagna and Vermaelen do at the moment.

Most of today’s news isn’t much of anything. There’s a few brief quotes from our capatain about how the team need to improve, and the odd transfer rumour that I refuse to believe – getting my hopes up about a possible bid for Fellaini will only lead to disappointment.

With a great deal of chatter mounting up regarding Arsenal proposed bid for Palace’s Wilfried Zaha, Ian Holloway has had a bit of a pop at Wenger, who may, or may not, have mentioned his admiration for the young forward:

Holloway said to The Sun(rag):

“Why is he talking about my players? It’s not the game,”

“I will be picking up the phone to talk to him as I don’t think it is right and proper with the greatest respect. That is totally bad etiquette.

“Wilf is a big part of our season and we have such a strong contract others can go and whistle.

“He won’t be available, no matter what the price is in January.”

Poor old Ian must be suffering from a stressy-pants moment. Arsene has hardly gone the full Barcelona route and made remarks about hostages and DNA. He’s mentioned his admiration for a player – a player who I doubt Palace will keep if big money is thrown at them. Seems to me Holloway might already know this.

And that’s about it out there in Arsenal news.

It’s a brief post today. Tomorrow’s will cover the Swansea game in detail. I’ll leave you with a bit of pleasent reading – Daniel Cowan produced this splendid article on North London Is Red, and I strongly recommend you give it a read – especially if you’re one of those who likes to blame things on Aaron Ramsey.

Thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

Big Ted’s player of the month: Bacary Sagna

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April was a steady, unspectacular month for The Arsenal. The quest for 3rd place and the excitement of guaranteed Champions League football has steadily moved along without ever blazing a trail.

In that month, our consistent full-back has shown his usual dedication and prowess on the pitch; quietly and affectively going about his job. Over the past few years, Bac has grown into one of the finest players in his position, and he’ll on continue to excel.

For those reasons, he is the player of the month for April. An award I’m sure will invoke flabbergasted delight and euphoria on his part…

Thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards. I’m back tomorrow with more news and stuff. Until then, you can follow me on Twitter @_ArmchairGooner

Something certain to cheer you up, Arsenal fans.

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This is a photo of Big Ted – the bear I’ve had since birth – displaying more steely determination and desire in the tackle than the average member of Arsenal’s first team manages to exude in 90 minutes.

He plays at full-back…

Thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards. Feel free to comment and follow my Twitter account – @Puddleduck1978.