Tag Archives: Champions League

by | November 27, 2013 · 10:52 am

Ozil, Ramsey, Giroud, Wilshere and Champions League qualification in our own hands.

Great performance from Jack with 2 goals.

Morning, you delicious bunch of so-and-sos, you.

It was a fairly enjoyable game last night. I say “fairly” because – I’ll be honest here – I expected a little more. Now, hold your tounges for a moment, folks. I’m not wishing to be ungrateful or disparage the team in any way. My sentiment is simple; Marseille were there for the taking and we could have battered them if the mood took us.

I’m not going to write an in-depth review of all the game’s key moments as I’ve actually, for once, already done one. Yesterday’s report on Arseblog News was penned by yours truly. Instead I’m going to focus my efforts on discussing a few individual performances. Continue reading →

1 Comment

Filed under Arsenal

Tagged as , , , ,

by | October 23, 2013 · 8:30 am

A tale of the ‘big guns’… Lewandowski, The Flame and reasons to be cheerful

Arsenal 1-2 Dortmund: Football is one of those games…

Morning folks.

I’ve just finished watching the game. It’s actually 10.00pm of last night. As my already weary bones must surface at an ungodly hour tomorrow (today) I’ve decided that the sensible thing to do is write before bed time.

We lost. Sometimes these things happen. We are not an infallible unit of footballing cyborgs programmed to perform at levels higher than mere mortals, unfortunately. We lost a game we deserved something from against a very good team. They hit us with a sucker punch on the counter attack at the perfect time to demoralise. Continue reading →

10 Comments

Filed under Match reviews

Tagged as , , ,

by | October 2, 2013 · 8:30 am

Boggle-eyes, The Flame, Handsome Bast**d and the Goonersphere Podcast

Arsenal 2-0 Napoli: Ozil celebrates, Flamini searches for someone to murder.

Morning, all.

I hope today finds you in good health. I’m buoyant. There a few things in life as capable of putting a bounce in my step as seeing Arsenal perform brilliantly. Well… there are actually quite a few things, but none of those are particularly the kind of thing I should be broadcasting to the world. Yes , Scarlet Johannson –  I am talking about our recent romantic liaison at the Holiday Inn.

Watching last night’s performance was a joy from start to finish. Our Italian guests are an excellent side filled to the brim with some very capable players – Marek Hamsik – minus his ridiculous hair – is a player I rate extremely highly. From the first minute to the last, Arsenal made them look like a very ordinary side. In what was widely branded as our “toughest test to date” we came through with flying colours. Continue reading →

7 Comments

Filed under Match reviews

Tagged as , , , , ,

by | August 22, 2013 · 8:30 am

3-0 to the Arsenal. Benzema and Di Maria on the way…

Fenerbahce 0-3 Arsenal: Yikes…

Morning, folks.

Ahhh, that’s better.

Feels good to have a little bit of triumph to distract from all the bickering and negativity. As much as I’m prone to agree with much of what’s been said since Saturday, all that dismay and fury was beginning to grate on my nerves. One result certainly doesn’t go far to fixing the glaring problems regarding Arsenal’s squad, but the assurances a 3-0 victory away from home gives to our qualification certainly helps things seems momentarily brighter.

The boys looked good last night. Make no mistake, Fenerbahce is an intimidating place to visit. Even with such a hostile atmosphere, we rarely looked anything other than in control, and fully deserved to take a very impressive lead into the return leg at the Emirates.

Our midfield especially caught the eye. Aaron Ramsey is starting to grow into his role in the team, and whilst his distribution could occasionally benefit from a little haste, his overall play is vastly improved. Once wrongly maligned by many, it really pleases me to see him showing what he’s made of. I’ve said so before, I’ll say so again; he has all the potential to be a huge player for Arsenal in years to come.

Koscielny’s injury was the one downside. I’m sure Pierre Webo didn’t mean to injure anyone whilst flaying his legs around above his head, but the look on his face in the picture above makes him appear psychotic. I’ve seen players take the red card walk of shame for a lot less. Hopefully, Laurent will only have a bit of a headache whilst he sits out his domestic suspension, and nothing more.

Now that our Champions League qualification appears a formality (take nothing for granted, folks) the world an its dog has started to go into transfer rumour overdrive. Miraculously, we’ve somehow managed to begin negotiations with Real Madrid for not one, but two of their more high profile players.

Interesting.

Had that been a tweet from that IndyKaila cretin, I’d pay it no attention whatsoever, and give serious thought to FedEx-ing an enormous amount of cat faeces to his home address.  Perhaps it’s nostalgia, perhaps it’s a little patriotism shining through, but I tend to take the BBC and it’s associates seriously.

However, neither of those two players fills me with excitement. Benzema I don’t really rate as a centre forward. Di Maria, on the other hand, I do believe is a fantastic footballer, but find myself dubious of his ability to fit into our set-up. Arsenal don’t tend to play with out-and-out wingers.

That said, what the bloody hell do I know? It’s probably not very likely to occur, but it’s nice to see the wheels appears to – FINALLY – be in motion. It’s been stated on many occasions that they key to recruitment was qualification for the Champions League. Barring a capitulation of near biblical proportions, we’ll be in the draw for the group stages.

Now is the time for Arsenal to really press on and do some business. We’ve been let down this far. We’ve had every right to air our grievances. Last night saw a very good performance and result against a tricky opponent. Things, for the time being, are looking up. Hopefully, now that I predict some serious movement in the market, I might actually be right.

Don’t let us down, Arsenal.

That’s all for today, folks. The comments are primed and ready for the evacuation of your thoughts. Wh impressed you the most last night? Are you confident of players heading our way now? Let me know.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

10 Comments

Filed under Match reviews

Tagged as , , , , ,

by | August 21, 2013 · 10:26 am

Fenerbahce (a): team news, views and predicted starting XI

“Welcome to Hell. Would you like a cup of tea?”

Morning, folks.

There are certain fixtures in Arsenal’s calendar that fill me with dread. Today’s trip to Turkey is certainly a prime example of that. Had the team headed to Fenerbahce on the back of an impressive performance at the weekend, I’d be feeling rather optimistic now. As it stands, I’m worried – worried for the players and the pressure they are under, and worried that a poor result tonight could both affect our transfer dealings, and send the Internet into a complete meltdown.

There is a lot riding on the game. There’s the monetary rewards that come with Champions League football at stake. There’s the prestige of that competition, and the perceived shame of a Club Arsenal’s size being relegated to the Europa League.

I’ve heard some Arsenal ‘fans’ say they hope we lose tonight, that a poor result will be the final nail in Arsene Wenger’s coffin. That I can’t agree with. Under no circumstances should any Arsenal fan want Arsenal to lose. Even if Scarlet Johansson promised me a night of blistering carnal pursuits on the back of an Arsenal defeat, I’d still be cheering them on (Mind you, I don’t think I’d take to Twitter in rage if they did lose in that scenario).

The team news, mercifully, is pretty good today. Aside from Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, who is said to be out for 6 weeks, all the doubts from the weekend are expected to be fit, and Nacho Monreal has joined up with the squad. Arteta and Vermaelen remain sidelined, and Abou Diaby has been humanely destroyed.

I don’t expect Santi Cazorla to start tonight, as he looks someway from match fitness. Podolski should come in on the flanks, and Tomas Rosicky, our best player on Saturday, might drop into the advanced midfield role behind Giroud. There has been some talk of Fabianski starting tonight ahead of Szczsney, but I can’t see that happening.

My guess would be:

The substitutes bench is likely to include a few youngsters. It’s a pretty damning insight into the state of our squad that we lack depth in reserve for such an important game. I’m a huge fan of both Zelalem and Gnabry, but the time isn’t quite right for either to be options for the first team.

If we come away tonight with a score draw, I’ll be very happy. Fenerbahce are notoriously bad travellers, and I’d fancy us to beat them at the Emirates quite comfortably. What’s important is to head into the second leg without anything to chase. With the pressure already on the players, I fear that might lead to the disastrous.

An old fashioned backs-to-the-wall Arsenal performance is what’s needed. The atmosphere will be hostile, the opposition with harass and press us at every chance. If we play like a team, keep our heads and utilise the pace upfront, we can come away with a result. Loosing by a couple of goals tonight doesn’t bare thinking about, so I’m not going to.

I’ll predict 2-2.

That’s all for today, folks. Below, the comments wait for you thoughts on the team and the potential result. Are you nervous and expecting the worst? Or do you think we’ll come through this? Let me know what you think.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

18 Comments

Filed under Match previews

Tagged as , , , ,

by | May 22, 2013 · 9:00 am

Huge transfer dealings this summer? What do we do with ourselves now?

The summer’s on it’s way; relax, unwind and enjoy the glorious sunshine… All two days of it.

Good morning everyone.

First up; apologies. I’ve been eager to post sooner than today given our triumphant securing of 4th place, but the elements have conspired against me. Well, I say “elements” – what I really mean is other people. More specifically; other people who decide to smash into my stationary, empty car and cause an incredible amount of damage, resulting in me having to spend most of my free blogging time on the phone with various garages and insurances companies.

Life’s a bitch sometimes.

I’m not sure what any of that has to do with Arsenal – nothing – but it is nice to be able to put the words into print and vent a little. I’m sure none of you will begrudge me that.

On toward more pertinent matters…

I’ll be honest; I did not enjoy Sunday one little bit. Aside from the absolutely hilarious goal that wasn’t a goal, and the reaction of Spurs’ fans, the day was essentially a comprehensive test of my anxiety levels and bowels. Mercifully, they both passed. Just.

Up until the final whistle, I could barely stand to watch. But like the players and management did when it was all over, I cheered like we’d won the World Cup, Champions League and Premiership all at the same time. Some might have you believe we shouldn’t cheer something that’s not a trophy, or an accomplishment perceived to be beneath us, but who cares? We got where we needed to be. It may not have been the Club’s finest hour, but undoubtedly worth celebrating in the context of the season.

And that brings with it the question, “Where do we go from here?”. The team have performed well in recent weeks, but few could realistically dispute the need for reinforcements. We have good players at Arsenal, but we also have dead wood and a few stragglers hanging about.

I genuinely believe this will be the summer we build on what we have, and not another summer where we lose players. For the first time in a while, we don’t have doubt hanging over the future of a star player, or constant bleating of interest from our unscrupulous friends in Catalonia. We can keep this squad of players together, and most importantly, we can flex our financial muscles and make good additions.

The Puma sponsorship will bring in cash, as will securing Champions League football – assuming we come through the qualifier, that is. We reportedly already have a whopping stack of notes just waiting to be splurged on shiny new players. The summer could be very interesting indeed, and for all the right reasons.

And that’s where I’ll leave it for today. There will be a lot of lost faces wandering around now the football season is over.  We are entering the silly season of rumours and wild-eyed speculative nonsense. Paper will report, rags will fabricate and websites I loathe will attempt to lure you in will annoying titles.

Me? I intend to be here for you all through the upcoming madness. I can offer you help to alleviate the boredom – you could take up dancing, read a book, field strip a Kanashlikov blindfolded, go running, make sweet love to a beautiful man/woman on the beach, or you could learn how to play roulette online for free at www.onlineroulette.com. Alternatively, you can visit www.pokersitesonline.com to learn how to play poker, if you are of the betting, gaming persuasion. You could take a moment to marvel at how wonderfully I slotted those little links into the post…

What I do hope is you’ll pop by reguarly. This little blog of mine continues to grow, and that’s all down to you wonderful people. For your contributions and time, I thank you all very much.

There is a handy comments section below, and let’s get that gossip ball rolling, shall we? Who are your 3 ideal signings for Arsenal over the summer? Forget about the history of our parsimonious approach, imagine we’re going to go on a wild spending spree and shock the world. I look forward to reading a few of your thoughts.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

6 Comments

Filed under News

Tagged as , , , , ,

by | May 19, 2013 · 9:00 am

Newcastle (a): thoughts, team news and predicted starting XI.

Not if you’re in the Champions League…

Morning folks.

The enormously important day is upon us. Trembling bowels, obliterated fingernails, cold sweats and bouts of thunderous anxiety; I’ve got them all and kick-off is hours away. The significance of today might be mocked by those with greater prizes already secured, but to us Gooners it not only means another season of Champions League football, but finishing above that rowdy mob of second-stringers from next door. A win is vital, anything less is unthinkably awful.

And there have been a few developments since I spoke to you last. Mikel Arteta’s chances of featuring in any way still appear slim. Waiting in the wings to play before surgery and under the influence of painkillers is Jack Wilshere. I’m not sure that’s a particularly good idea. It’s obvious Jack isn’t fit. We have Ramsey, Rosicky and Cazorla as an option for the central 3, and their fitness levels are high. Risking Wilshere, regardless of the games importance, could easily be as much a hinderance as it is a help.

Olivier Giroud returns from suspension and is expected to go straight back into the team, and we have no other injuries to report – other than Abou Diaby, who has fractured or ruptured 13 different areas of his anatomy in the type it took me to type his name.

I’d guess we will line up like this, but I do expect when push comes to shove Arsene will see fit to play Wilshere:

On paper, that’s a team that should comfortably dispatch a Newcastle team that haven’t been at the races all season. However, our opponents have some ‘incentives’ to win today. Owner, Mike Ashley, has bizarrely offered a £1m bonus to all non-footballing staff should The Toon beat us. As is often the case, the major news outlets have pounced on that and magically transformed it into something else.

Had he offered that kind of cash to his players, then you have a story. Quite what the non-footballing staff are going to do influence the result is beyond me – although, I shouldn’t mock lest we hear stories of Newcastle’s tea lady assaulting Gervinho with a slice of Battenburg.

On the playing side, Newcastle could finish as high as 10th, or as low as 17th depending how the results pan out. The difference in revenue for that is something in the region of £5m , so their a certainly a few financial reason for Newcastle to perform.

And we have absolutely got to assume that they are going to.

They have quite a few players that are capable of doing damage should the mood take them. Alan Pardew may have comfortable won ‘Dumb-Ass of the Year’ when he spluttered out this nugget of hilarity,

“I don’t care if Arsenal beat us 4-0 as long as the fans are happy”

but we have to walk out onto the pitch alert and ready to battle for each, every and any ball. Anything other than 100% focus and commitment as unacceptable – well, it is as far as I’m concerned.

And that’s about all there is to report. It’s going to be a nervy, painful afternoon of flipping around other matches and hoping they don’t matter in the slightest. The task is simple; win, and we finish where we want to be. It may not be pretty, enjoyable or memorable, but I don’t care. Just get there, Arsenal. It would be nice if you could do it having won 5-0 at a canter, though – for the sake of my sanity and bowels, at the very least.

The comments await below for all your thoughts and hopes for the day. How to you expect us to line-up? would you risk Jack if Arteta does miss out? Are you as restless and nervous as I am? Let me know.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

1 Comment

Filed under Match previews

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

by | May 17, 2013 · 9:00 am

Arteta doubtful for Newcastle, more new kit pictures and thoughts ahead of the weekend.

Gervinho looked on in awe as Mikel managed to kick a ball towards that huge, scary rectangular thing with a net.

Morning Goonery boys ‘n’ girls.

Friday seems to consistently throw up bad news. Today is no different. Mikel Arteta’s solid and diligent performances in midfield are rightly credited as being the strength of our recent resolve. Like Gilberto Silva, he is often an unsung hero; his unflashy yet imperative work often goes unnoticed.

So it’s bloody bad news that our Spanish friend is highly unlikely to take part against Newcastle due to a particularly inconvenient calf problem. Currently he is being assessed by the club’s medical staff – who, I presume, can afford to take 5 minutes away from Abou Diaby – and we should know more about his chances at some point today.

If he does indeed miss out on the trip to St James’ Park, Arsene Wenger will have to decide wether it is worth risking Jack Wilshere from the start of the game. If he doesn’t, I can only assume Cazorla and Rosicky will play centrally with Ramsey doing the mopping-up behind. Giroud will be available having served his suspension, so Podolski will be able to drop back to the left of our attacking triumvirate.

That’s all speculative, however, and we will know a great deal more as the big fixture approaches. And that’s about the entirety of Arsenal stories. There are a few transfer rumours floating around, but nothing worth a mention. Most of what you see is the kind of guff that a certain site (Think; Emmanuel Adebayor is constantly…..) puts up with those irritating titles like,

“Hey!! Click Here! We want you to believe your favourite team are planning a mega, super, awesome, incredible, fantastic, daring, audacious, phenomenal double swoop for two Brazilian footballers that will cost a whopping £400m!! Please click on or site! Please!”

That same feculent rag attempted to take credit for this picture of a rather superb mock-up of what one of our kits might look like when Puma begins their sponsorship in 2014:

Puma and Arsenal: What it could be.

As it was pointed out yesterday on Le Grove, the person actually responsible, and the one that deserves the credit in full for a lovely bit of work is a very talented individual with the Twitter handle, @LAGVILAVA7. If you needed any more proof of the website I shan’t name’s utter abhorrence, then you have it.

And I think that’s were I shall leave it for today. With Sunday’s game approaching fast, I’m starting to feel the occasional burst of nerves, and my morning ablutions are less forgiving than usual. To say we have to win is something of an understaement. Failure to do so, to fall short and finish behind Spurs, to be dumped unceremoniously into the Europa League whilst that mob play with Europe’s elite, is unthinkable to me.

The very thought is about as appealing as attending a sex dungeon with John Terry as your date. In fact, I’m going to cease from mentioning it now, and punch myself repeatedly in the testicles until the resulting agony wipes my memory of this post.

All that is left if for me to point you toward the comments. Although – if you leave one I will have to come back to read it and be reminded of what I’ve said. And that means I’ll have no choice but to repeat the punching-testicles memory wipe. And that means I’ll come back should there be another comment…

This might go on forever. Don’t leave a comment.

As always, thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

5 Comments

Filed under News

Tagged as , , , , , , , ,

by | May 14, 2013 · 9:00 am

Wigan (h): Team news, thoughts and predicted starting line-up

“No, your forehead isn’t that big. The other boys are just bullies…”

Morning fellow Gooners.

It is with a little trepidation that I approach today’s fixture. Complacency can often be the worst enemy for the players that represent Arsenal. Too often in the past seemingly winnable games have turned into a litany of missed opportunities and dropped points thanks to the dreaded ‘C’ word.

Today, however, I’m more worried about the pressure and anxiety. I don’t think we’ll see any complacent players on the pitch. There is too much at stake for them to strut out out there without a care in the world. Knowing we need the points, that winning is vital to our chances of 4th, could be our undoing if it results in a handbrake-on performance.

Then there’s the though of finishing below Spurs. I can’t bare it, even if it doesn’t really matter all that much – it’s just pride talking. I’d imagine it’s an event that would have an adverse effect. It’s; sell your old clothes, sell your furniture, sell your electronic appliances and move away to a remote island until the awfulness of it all disappears.

Wigan will give us a game tonight. Buoyed by Saturday’s victory, Roberto Martinez and friends will have good memories of winning on our ground last season, and they’ve a relegation battle on their hands. Points are as important to them as they are to us. Don’t expect any end-of-season hangovers now they’ve a trophy in the cabinet.

Our job is deliciously simple; beat Wigan, beat Newcastle and we will secure 4th place at the very least. There is an outside chance we could sneak into 3rd at the last minute, but at this stage I couldn’t care less as long as we get where we need to be. Our final 2 games are tricky, but an Arsenal side performing well should be able to comfortably win both. At this point there are no excuses. It’s all in our hands.

The team news is looking good. Only Giroud and man-of-glass, Abou Diaby are absent from the squad. The players have had plenty of time to rest and prepare themselves mentally . I don’t imagine Aresne will do anything to change things drastically. I’d say we’re looking at a starting line-up similar to the one that took the field at QPR – the only change perhaps being Jack Wilshere for Tomas Rosicky.

(Edit: There is some talk of Jack only being used in the event of necessity as he is in need of minor surgery. Tomas Rosicky will most probably start the game)

And now the butterflies have started….

As I’m sat here typing away, I’m starting to envisage what could go wrong. Call me a pessimist – I am at times – but my pre-match routine for the important high-stakes games invariably is to worry uncontrollably. I know I’m not the only one. I imagine there will be a palpable sense of anxiety in the ground tonight.

Being a Gooner isn’t easy these days. Once upon a time we’d obliterate teams in the opening 15 minutes and be treated to a festival of flicks and tricks for the remaining 75. Recent events show we could be in for a bladder-looseningly tense affair, with a single goal being the difference. A draw isn’t good enough, a defeat is unthinkable. We have to make our chances count and put Wigan to bed as soon as possible.

’1-0 to the Arsenal’ regardless of how it’s obtained would suit me just fine.

If you’re happy to part with some cash, and you’ve a strong belief in your ability to predict what will happen, Bet Victor offers all the latest odds and a £25 free bet to newly registered members. You can sign-up here.

Arsenal vs Wigan odds.

That’s all for today, folks. I’ll be watching the game from the comfort of my home tonight as the elements has conspired to allow me the evening off. Wherever you’re viewing; strap yourself in for the ride and cross all parts of your anatomy it’s physically possible to cross.

It’s crunch time.

The comments are below. Use them to jot down a few of your thoughts on the team and how you see the game panning out. Who would you start up front? Are you confident of a result? Let me know.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

4 Comments

Filed under News

Tagged as , , , , ,

by | May 9, 2013 · 12:34 pm

New kit deal with Puma means big money, and 2-2 sees things back in our hands.

Puma even sponsor Champagne these days…

Afternoon folks.

The big financial news of yesterday popped up in the Daily Mirror; Arsenal have secured the most lucrative sponsorship deal in England with sports giants Puma, and will receive a whopping £30m-per-year.

The new deal is alleged to begin in 2014, with Arsenal’s long association with Nike not ending until then. I’m actually quite pleased with this. Obviously, from a monetary point of view, it’s a huge boost of funds that we’d expect will go in some way to strengthening the team. Secondly, I’m a big fan of Puma’s gear. I’ve never been the type to adorn myself in replica kits for leisure wear, but it’s good to know that we are working with a company known for making quality product.

There have already been a few speculative mock-ups of our potential new shirts:

Arsenal and Puma in 2014?

On to football matters. Last night’s game ended relatively favourably for us. In an ideal world, Chelsea would have taken all the points, but a 2-2 draw at least affords us the advantage of knowing our destiny is in our own hands. Maximum points from our remaining fixtures against Wigan and Newcastle will see us qualify for one of the Champions League spots. The automatic qualification that comes from 3rd place may be out of our reach, but at this stage I’d quite happily settle for 4th.

The game itself I found impossible to watch. Having to be pleased when Chelsea scored a goal was akin to feeling delighted the moment a stranger sets one of your legs on fire. After Adebayor’s dubiously dubbed “wonder goal” went in, I felt compelled to switch off the game and wait until full time for the result.

Spurs have remaining games away at Stoke and home to Sunderland. As I’ve previously stated on many an occasion, I still expect there to be plenty of twists and turns until the final resolution, and for matters to only be finalised on the last day of the season.

It is all in our hands now, but Arsenal aren’t blessed with a vice-like grip, and are prone to slippery moments when the pressure is on. The team can ill-afford any bouts of complacency, and as supporters we can’t allow ourselves to view it as a formality. In some quarters, I read folks who already just assume we’ll despatch Wigan with ease on our own patch. If recent history has taught us anything, it’s that this Arsenal team are capable of floundering and doing things the hard way during the least opportune of moments.

Nothing is secured yet. We all need to focus and make sure we get over line free from blunders and mishaps. Only when we sit in 4th, mathematically out of Tottenham’s reach, can we begin to look forward to what the summer entails. It’s been a topsey-turvey season, and not a memorable one. Let’s hope it ends well.

The odds on Arsenal securing at least 4th are stacked in our favour, with Ladbrokes offering 2/7 in favour of Arsenal finishing in the top 4.

That’s all for today, folks. There is a handy comments section below that eagerly awaits your opinions. Are you happy with the Puma deal and the revenue it will bring in? Are you pleased with the outcome of last night’s satanic match-up? Drop me a line with a few of your thoughts.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

 

10 Comments

Filed under News

Tagged as , , , , , , ,