Tag Archives: Liverpool

10 games for nibbling, United’s title and another huge transfer bites the dust.

The FA disciplinary panel were always pleased to see Luis Suarez

Good evening, beautiful creations.

If you’re hoping to unearth some original gems of Arsenal news, today may be something of a disappointment for you. There’s plenty of goings on and news out there, but given what’s occurred already this week, much of it only truly relates to Arsenal in a roundabout way.

Firstly, I’m sure you’ll have witnessed the explosion of apoplexy amongst the Internet community once Robin van Whateverhisnameis scored a thunderous offside hat-trick to bring home the title for his inner child’s club.

Can’t say I didn’t see it coming. Can you?

I understand the rage that’s being spewed. I really do. If there is a worse bit of transfer business conducted by our club, I’m hard pressed to tell you what it is. Yet, I can’t see the point in getting annoyed with Robin. He’s left, he’s no longer a part of Arsenal Football Club, and he’ll never be thought of with the reverence we have for others. As far as I’m concerned, he no longer matters.

I would congratulate United for winning the title, but to be frank; I’d rather set my feet on fire and watch them burn whilst a complete stranger punches me in the testicles repeatedly. They undoubtedly deserved to win it, but that’s for them to cheer and us to ignore. It’s not as if we were in it at any point.

One thing I do agree with completely are the folks stating Arsenal’s policy in the market for players needs drastic change. For too long we’ve hidden behind phrases like “sustainable model” and “financial fair play”. What should be of paramount importance is adhering to both, but without losing the ability to compete. Let’s be honest here; Arsenal have failed to compete for years, and selling your captain to a team that does only serves as a spectacularly effective way of highlighting that point.

Like you, I couldn’t care less about finances. Fans on the terraces don’t sign, “And we are Ar-sen-al, but far the most financially stable and business orientated team, the world has ever seen”. They won’t ever do that. They want bragging rights and glory, and a team that won’t flounder and fumble early on when there’s enough resources at the club the ensure we do compete.

What fans want is the team to lay down a marker – to go out a replace someone of Robin’s calibre with the best possible alternative. We can’t settle for hit-and-hope punts from the French league who come at a discount. Giroud is a decent sqaud player, but he isn’t the type of striker to fire a team toward silverware.

One player we’ve missed out on is the uber-talented, Mario Gotze, who is, according to reports in Germany, heading to Bayern Munich as they’ve activated his release clause. Whilst it’s a shame we didn’t match that offer and try to secure his services, the timing of the transfer is so bizarre and unexpected that perhaps our representatives were caught as much off guard as the rest of us.

Wether we’d have gotten him is irrelevant; the point is we ought be chasing after players like him. If there’s £70m surplus to requirements in the bank, then use it on some quality.

Lastly today; poor old Luis Suarez. He’s been hit with a whopping 10-game ban for having a chomp at Chelsea’s Ivanovic – a punishment Jermaine Defoe avoided completely for a very similar incident. Do I think it’s fair? Absolutely not. If you’re only going to ban someone as loathsome as John Terry for clearly racially abusing another player for only 4 games, then doubling that +2 for biting is complete madness. But that’s our beloved FA for you…

But Suarez is no saint, so I shan’t be feeling sorry for him or the Liverpool followers. Oh well. Dry your eyes, guys…

That’s all for today, folks. Leave your thoughts on United’s triumph, player recruitment and Luis Suarez in the comments section below. I look forward to reading a few.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

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Defensive blunders, and Arsenal announce mega, super, awesome, spectacular, amazing, astonishing deal to sign… nobody.

“Someone, anyone?”

Afternoon, my little delights.

That dreaded day is upon us. We’ve waited 30 days in drooling expectation, some of us will foolishly be glued to the interweb in the hope of a late shock materialising. Transfer deadline day is here.

Will Arsenal sign a player? No – well, not unless something truly miraculous happens, and I doubt that. Whilst others conduct their business and bring in players with what appears to be no difficulty, Arsenal flounder; we falter, offer false hope and invariably do the thing we all kind of knew would happen – sod all. Those “top, top, exceptional” quality footballers are just too damn elusive this time of year.

If Arsene believes in the strength of his squad, then that’s fine with me. I don’t agree, but I’m not a Premiership manager on a seven-figure income. What do I know? I’m just a humble supporter.

Well, I know that, along with the Gooner vox populi, I see glaring holes in the current squad that could do with being plugged. Whilst others like to scream obscenities and angry declarations such as, “Damn you, Wenger! Buy a f**king player!!” I prefer to let things be. I disagree with our current policy in the market about as much as anybody can, but I shan’t be screaming it at the top of my lungs, or plastering my Twitter account with ill-advised and puerile statements. Such acts change nothing, and a supporters job is to support – although, a good moan every now and then doesn’t go amiss.

My advice to you, the delicious reader, would be avoiding the late-night updates and constant news covering today’s window. Avoid it like you would an angry hobo with a used needle in his filthy grasp. Assume nothing will happen because that’s comfortably the most likely outcome. Should the unexpected occur, there will be a nice surprise waiting for you tomorrow morning. Getting wound up watching the minutes pass in front of Sky Sports News won’t make anyone feel better.

With all the hullabaloo and balderdash about, it’s easy to forget the players we do have took part in a competitive fixture last night. Havinfg conceded two goals straight from the ‘Hey, this is how not to defend’ handbook, the boys showed, as the often tend to when behind in games, that we do have some excellent players with spirit and desire. A 2-2 draw with Liverpool wasn’t ideal, but I’d gladly have taken it on 60 minutes. Both Spurs and Chelsea drew, so we’d didn’t lose any ground on them.

It certainly would be remiss of me to not mention the catastrophic defending. One thing I regularly notice is the consistency with which our defenders fall over at the least opportune moment. Think about it for a second; how many times can you remember a slip or a stumble leading to a goal conceded? I can think of plenty.

On paper, our starting back four and keeper looks solid. In practice, they look like a bewildered bunch of street performers, prancing here and there with little in the way of choreography. The problems baffle me, and you know they’re bad when a player as woefully average as Jordan Henderson can waltz through your penalty area and score.

Work needs to be done. work has needed to be done for sometime. Many folks I hear claim our deficiencies to be down to simple misfortune. I disagree. There is a fundamental lack of organistation and leadership at the back, and the work needs to be done there first and foremost. As an attacking force, our problems are minimal. If the team applied themselves to defence with the verve they dedicate to bounding upfield in search of glory, perhaps these problems might not occur so frequently.

But hey, that’s just me. On that note, I shall leave you for the day. I hope you fine people will take my advice and avert your respective glares from all sports channels for the evening. Let’s just accept what’s coming. There’s no sense bickering with each other over it.

Leave me a comment below, and thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

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Arsenal’s starting XI for the game against Liverpool (match preview)

Hello, deliriously Goonery people of this ‘ere blog of mine.

The format of today’s post won’t be as pretty and picture-orientated. At present, I’m rapidly keying into my iPhone and neglecting the many things I should really be doing at work. That’s dedication for you – I’m only too happy to avoid meaningful contribution to my gainful employment in favour of talking to you splendid people.

The game today in an important one. I was in the scorching climes of Malta when we triumphed 2-0 at Anfield in a result that, at the time, genuinely filled me with hope for what we could accomplish this season. In the weeks and months after that day, Arsenal have faltered and flattered to device. There’s no doubting the talent of our current squad, but unfortunately our only consistency is the ability to be unpredictable.

Against Liverpool today, a performance similar to the one that saw West Ham obliterated in a blaze of attacking football should see us emerge comfortably with the three points. Aside from their buck-toothed racist up front – admittedly, he is quite brilliant – our Scouse opponents have little threat. If we play like we can, we’ll win.

Trouble is, you never know what to expect from Arsenal. For every jaw-agape moment of brilliance, an idiotic defensive lapse lurks just around the corner. We could destroy Liverpool, or we could stutter and stumble about the pitch and lose without a significant attempt on target.

The team news is as it was in the last game, with the exception of Vermaelen returning from injury. Those rested against Brighton should return to the line-up.

My guess at the starting XI would be:

Szczsney; Sagna, Gibbs, Mertesacker, Vermaelen; Diaby, Cazorla, Wilshere, Walcott, Podolski; Giroud.

As for the eventual outcome? Well, I don’t think we’ll see another 4-4, I’m going for a decent 2-1 win for Arsenal.

If you fancy staking some cash on the game, head over to Bet Victor and register an account – new members receive a free £25 to use as they see fit. You can sign up here.

Thanks for reading today, you beautiful bastards. My apologies for the rushed post. Use the comments below to tell me your thoughts on the game and the team.

I shall return with a review tomorrow.

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Another player injured on international duty, The Ox, England and stuff.

Without his favourite bear, Theo would regularly have night terrors.

Afternoon folks.

That dreaded injury curse has once again struck. Such was my complete lack of interest, I only caught the occasional glimpse of England’s game last night – I watched Jet Li in ‘Unleashed’ instead – so I’ve had to rustle around various sites for a bit of information on Arsenal’s contingent.

The challenge on Theo from San Marino’s keeper wasn’t a pretty one, and our speedy winger/striker had to spend the night in hospital. Details on the severity of the damage are not yet forthcoming, but it looked quite nasty. Far be it for me to speculate or claim to have any medical knowledge; the possibility of him missing a fair few games looks high. I hope for him to make a speedy recovery. He may not be my favourite member of the squad, and, at times, he’s so frustrating he makes me want to punch kittens in the face, but he has been showing signs or form and getting amongst the goals.

I’d far rather he be fit and available than not.

Staying on the subject of England, it was nice to see The Ox get a goal – his first at senior international level. For someone who we all expect great things from, his form this season has been patchy. Perhaps the euphoria of netting for his national team will enable him to push on and find his groove in an Arsenal shirt.

Other than those two points, my desire to watch any further elements of the game was similar to how I treat going to the lavatory in the middle of the night when it’s cold – I’ll only make the effort if it’s absolutely necessary . In this particular case, it wasn’t.

Lastly today, I thought I would send you in the direction of a blog post brought to my attention by previous interviewee, Jules Wheeler. By now, you’ve most probably heard all about the story of ‘Duncan Jenkins’ and Liverpool’s director of communications, Jen Chang. It’s absolutely astonishing stuff, so if it has passed you by, I strongly recommend you have a read of it  - the post is called “Such a little thing makes such a big difference”.

That’s all for today, folks.

The comments are below, you can use them to let me know your views on Theo’s injury, The Ox’s contribution last night, and your views on the Duncan Jenkins story.

Thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards. I shall return with more tomorrow.

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Starting XI for the trip to Anfield and Malta news.

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Good morning, delicious reader.

Here in Malta it’s quite lovely and, mercifully, quite some distance from the argy-bargy and discontent swirling around Twitter – I have had the occasional peak.

Truth be told; I’m as disappointed as the vast majority of you that the squad hasn’t been added to. I know Wenger stated he’d only actively pursue so-called, “top, top players” and that’s okay with me. However, taking into account the cash we have at our disposal – allegedly – and the obvious lack of a squad capable of pushing for the title – sorry, but it’s true – I’m at a loss to understand why we haven’t brought someone in.

It can’t be that hard, can it? Mancini managed to secure five deals on Friday, and a few other clubs did some handy bits of business. Again, like many of you; I had hoped this tedious transfer merry-go-round at Arsenal had gone for good. I approached the summer with genuine hope and excitement. But, inevitably, we’ve done what we always seem to do; strengthen a club in Manchester with one of our star players, sold someone to Barcelona, kept all the dross and bafflingly been unable to locate any of these “top, top players” – as if somehow such players are mysterious entities that only our fucking manager is unable to find.

But, hey; that’s my bout of moaning and sneering all done with. Like it or not; what we have, is what we have. There is little or no point in any further disgruntled ranting and exclamations of what should or could have been done. We may be entering another season on eerily familiar grounds, but supporting the team is of paramount importance. Disputes, disappointments and dramas are all common occurrences amongst the Arsenal fraternity. Unification and a common desire for the team to do well is the only course of action I claim to advocate.

And with that notion in mind, I look forward to the Liverpool game, and, with a bit of good fortune, something to smile about.

As for the team news, well… Being in the sweltering heat of Malta, and suffering with the shittest Internet connection known to man; I’m afraid my team is going to be purely speculative. I think that Laurent Koscielny is still out, along with Wilshere, and Szczsney will undergo a late fitness test – if he fails, I’ll be holding my breath every time the ball sails toward our penalty area.

I’d go for a starting line up of:

Szczsney; Jenkinson, Mertesacker, Vermaelen, Gibbs; Diaby, Arteta, Cazorla; Podolski, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Giroud.

The game itself should be a different type of affair than in previous seasons. Brendan Rodgers’ exploits with Swansea show his teams play the ball on the ground, and they’ll be no £35m lump up top to terrorise our back four – we have to wait until Carroll is deployed into West Ham’s hair-shreddingly shit-awful ‘Allardyce-ball’ for that particular treat.

The result? Well, I’d take a draw at this point, as Anfield is one of the tougher away trips in the league. However, I would like to see us score at some point, and I do think a good performance could see us take all 3 points. We are certainly due something to enthuse and smile about. Let’s hope today brings us exactly that.

Thanks for reading today, you beautiful bastards. I shall post again soon – if I can drag myself away from the pool, the drinks, the hot weather and the wonderful surroundings. I shall be watching the game from the hotel today – providing they show it.

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Winning ugly is a thing of beauty

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FA Premiership 3rd March
Liverpool 1-2 Arsenal

Morning, friends, countrymen, foreign acquaintances and dubious ruffians oh-so-keen to post curiously worded and vitriolic comments – Spurs fans… *rolls eyes*.

Before kick off yesterday, I would have happily accepted a point. Anfield is always a tricky ground from which to escape with 3 points. Yet, I was quietly confident we could do exactly that. Unusually for me, I was right.

The first half was a fairly damning example of our frailties in defence. Liverpool don’t posses a team of world-class attackers, and when Gerrard isn’t there, their front-line consists of decidedly average chancers and a (admittedly good) goofy, cheating, racist. Time and time again, those players cut through our defence with relative ease. Thanks to a combination of profligacy and Szczsney’s athletic brilliance, we were still in the game at the break when we really shouldn’t have been.

It’s difficult to pinpoint the primary reason for said defensive faux-pas and the regularity of which they occur. Individually, our back four are excellent players. Collectively, they’ve a propensity for positional negligence and the occasional calamitous blunder – Yes, Mr Koscielny, I’m referring to you. What in the name of Neptune’s barnacle-encrusted trident were you doing?

In my humblest of opinions, defence is a team job, and there are numerous examples of our midfielders leaving gaping holes, resulting in the defence losing the positional upper hand. Alex Song has offered a massive amount going forward, but we need a sitter in the mould of Gilberto; a player to cover the back line and mop up with minimal fuss. I’m not having a pop at Song, not at all. The defensive midfielder position is important, and we need the incumbent to do that job, and that job alone. For all the fruit Song’s forays up front bare, he’s leaving a gap Arteta isn’t always there to cover.

Criticisms aside, we did exactly as the title of this post suggests; we won without playing particularly well. Yet again, we’ve a magnificent Dutchman to thank for that. His header from Sagna’s wonderful cross and finish from Song’s flighted defence-splitter were both exquisite. Two chances, two goals. The guy is quite simply phenomenal. After the game, our deliciously prolific captain had this to say;

“I’m very proud to score here because it’s a massive ground, but even more proud of the win, because we did not deserve it. Liverpool played better than us, so we have to be pleased.”

You’ve got to admire his honesty. If that wasn’t an impressive enough character trait, he’s also a modest and humble guy. After thanking his teammates’ contributions to his goals, he offered his man-of-the-match award to Wojciech Szczsney, saying;

“I have to thank Szczesny, he was unbelievable.”

All in all, with Chelsea losing again, yesterday was a splendid day – one that saw 4th place and the possibility of catching Spurs come that little bit closer within reach. The performance was far from vintage, but it was battling and well-fought, with no small measure of effort.

There was a few bits of bad news. About Diaby managed to play 25 minutes before suffering another injury, and Yossi Benayoun picked up a hamstring strain. Worst of all was Mikel Arteta’s nasty collision with Jordan Henderson. The Spaniard left the field in a precautionary neck-brace and was supplied with oxygen. He was admitted to hospital to be monitored and no news of his condition has filtered out from the club. Hopefully, it’s nothing more than a mild concussion.

I wish him all the best and hope he’s back as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards. Leave a comment below, and follow my twittery tweeting on Twitter – @_ArmchairGooner.

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Thomas, Robin, Abou, Aaron and Arsenal Vs Liverpool.

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Morning, boys and girls.

I’ve always secretly had a begrudging respect for Liverpool’s horde of past glories. During the 80s, my classmates would bombard me with gleeful yelps of celebration the moment their beloved Reds secured a major honour. As the sole Gooner representative during my formative schooling, I took their cries of mockery quite hard, but retained a surreptitious envy and admiration for the accomplishments.

However, once players and managers alike took to the field wearing Suarez T-shirts in one of the most ill-advised protests I’ve had the misfortune to witness, a healthy chunk of that respect was lost. Lost, never to be rediscovered. The dopey racists…

Tomorrow, when the game kicks off, I’ll be stuck in work having to spend more time as a lone Gooner surrounded by Liverpool fans only too happy to warble enthusiastically about winning a trophy. 20 years on, and little has changed but my respect for their club. For my sanity alone, I hope we stuff them.

The team news is promising. After their well-documented and unnecessary exertions on international duty, the slight knocks picked up Robin van Persie and Thomas Vermaelen aren’t expected to prevent either from taking part. Tomas Rosicky is a small doubt, but should also feature. Aaron Ramsey is definitely still in the treatment room with Wilshere, Mertesacker and Santos.

Perhaps the most shocking news of all is the return of Abou Diaby. The man of many injuries has returned to training. I know what you’re thinking; if someone so much as violently passes wind within 3 feet of him, he’ll be out for the rest of the season, but let’s give him a break. Not literally, of course. He’s had enough of those. Very poor choice of words on my part…

I’m an unabashed fan of the leggy Frenchnan. Were it not for a cretinous call centre worker once in the employ of Sunderland, his career could have looked very different. He has talent in spades, and whilst some question his application, when he’s on top of his game he’s a match for anyone. Had he not suffered that injury, perhaps we’d have seen more of that.

My team to start tomorrow would be;

Szczsney; Sagna, Koscielny, Vermaelen, Gibbs; Song, Arteta, Rosicky, Walcott, Gervinho; van Persie

Yossi Benayoun performed admirably against Spurs – one last time; HAHAHAHAHA!!!! 5-2!!! – and could state a case for a starting role. Away from home against a side expected to attack, I think the pace of Walcott and Gervinho supplying van Persie will be more effective. Liverpool’s extra-time victory in the Carling Cup could leave them with a few weary legs, but at home they’ve shown good form of late. A result like like Sunday’s, as glorious as it was, won’t stand for much unless built upon. We’ve laid an impressive foundation, all we need now is to continue the good work and put in another performance worthy of the shirt. This time, let’s not wait until we’re 2-0 down.

Thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards. Enjoy the game this afternoon, wherever you may be watching. Leave me a comment below and keep up with my in-game expletives on Twitter – @_ArmchairGooner.

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Podolski, Hamsik, A trip to Klanfield and Gentleman’s Golf

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Good morning, puddings.

It’s a deathly quiet day in Arsenal world. Klanfield awaits us on Saturday at the thoroughly ridiculous kick-off time of 12:45, so news of player injuries and absentees should begin today with conformation on the morning of the game. As things stand, there’s very little to report, which isn’t such a bad thing today.

Yesterday, for the first time in years, I took to the Golf course to enjoy an afternoon of gentleman’s entertainment. Having woke up an hour ago, I literally ache all over – even areas of my body I was under the impression couldn’t ache feel as if they’ve been struck repeatedly with iron bars. Some times I wonder why I do these things to myself.

I love Golf, I love the camaraderie between friends a good game offers, but my relationship with the sport can quickly turn to pure hatred. I’m usually a fairly laid-back and placid individual, but if things begin to turn pear-shaped, I can swiftly erupt into a gangly mess of apoplectic aggression, firing off a cacophonous barrage of obscenities. All because a little white ball refuses to head in the direction I’d intended. Happily and surprisingly, I was consistent with my ball striking and I posted a respectable first-game score without once flirting with banishment from the grounds.

Good times.

The beginning of my Golf season usually goes hand-in-hand with the start of Arsenal’s perennial capitulation. This year, I’m hoping we wont be repeating the same irksome errors. Vanquishing our uppity neighbours in the most comprehensive of manners was an enormous leap in the right direction, but it needs to be built upon. If we come away from the Liverpool game with a point or better, then we’ll be on the right track. Understandably buoyed by recent silverware, The Reds will be formidable opponents, so another excellent team performance is required.

Tomorrow, as is now customary, I will preview the game in greater depth and put up a probable starting line-up.

And that’s yer lot. The only other thing on offer is a few more rumblings around the Podolski story, and one or two tall tales surrounding Napoli’s brilliant Slovakian playmaker, Marek Hamsik. Whilst slightly intriguing, they’re just tired re-hashes of this story which was heavily published circa August 2011. He’d make a wonderful addition – as would Podolski – yet I don’t see anyone but the uber-rich having what it takes to tempt the Italians to sell a prized asset.

Thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards. Drop me a comment with your thoughts, and take a moment to follow my Twitter account – @_ArmchairGooner.

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I believe 4th place is achievable, McCarthy speaks out and Arsene’s misleading £15-20m quotes.

I extend to you the fairest of morning greetings, splendid peruser of my bloggedy blog.

Yesterday, there was a barrage of news. Today, that information overload has been replaced by a steady, slightly dreary, dribble; a dribble of nothing in-particular; much like the career of Alex Hleb.

After Frimpong’s sad cruciate ligament injury was reported yesterday, Mick McCarthy has had some good words to say about our unfortunate Ghanian youngster:

“It’s obviously very disappointing for us but even more so for Manny who faces a lengthy spell on the sidelines.

“He’d made a good impression in the first month of his loan and we were looking forward to having him with us for the rest of the season.

“He’s a very good player, and we were grateful to Arsenal for allowing us to have him as he continues his development.”

Certainly, many of you will be inclined to wildly disagree with this statement; I like Mick McCarthy. He’s always struck me as an all-round decent man, and he’s damn amusing to boot – the interview during his tenure as the Rep. Ireland manager involving Roy Keane’s petulant departure being a particular favourite; “he called me everything from a F-in W, to a F-in C”. It was a nice gesture from him, and not doubt much appreciated by Frimpong himself.

Other than that, there was a rather misleading story about Arsenal needing to make £15-20m profit at the beginning of every season, which some of the misery-guts’ out there immediately took to signify the club has become a ‘seller’. Not the case, in my opinion. Wenger was merely stating his need to remain prudent and avoid wayward and thoughtless investing. The funds stated are the profit levels the club aims toward, and at no point was it specified out-going players were needed to meet them. That said, it’s hardly something a man paid to concentrate of football matters should be coming out with. I’d far rather he was putting his efforts into securing investment in the playing squad, but within the realms of common sense and without unnecessary parsimony. His job should focus primarily on results, performances and accolades; preferably those that come in the shape of big shiny trophies. Let someone else worry about the finances and all that jazz…

And that leads me nicely onto the battle for 4th place; a battle I’m no longer resigned to losing. Given the enormous financial rewards for the eventual incumbent, I’d expect someone to be stamping their authority over the position by putting a string of results together. However, Chelsea, Liverpool, Newcastle and ourselves have all flattered to deceive and left the race wide open. With greatly important fixtures to come against all of the aforementioned, as well as Spurs, we have the opportunity to reach that goal. It isn’t beyond us, and with the injury list looking like it could be steadily decreasing now would be the ideal time to cast aside the recent poor run, and replace it with some consistency.

We have a striker who’s truly worthy of the description ‘world-class’, a defence that will be further solidified by the return of a natural left full-back and a exciting new prospect in Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. If the players can work to eradicate the calamitous blunders and moments where they lack concentration, we have a real shot. We have the players capable of competing, just as long as their heads are focused and in the right place.

Reading around various outlets, a great many people regularly pose the question “Would you rather finish 4th or win the FA Cup?”. My answer to that is simple; why not both? If you can’t be a little optimistic after your team has thumped someone 7-1, when can you be? Let’s hope the players share my faith and belief and go pick up 3 points at Sunderland.

Thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards. Leave a comment in the section below and take a moment to follow me on Twitter – Puddleduck1978.

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