The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

Wilshere and Alexis Impress, Arsenal Draw, Ozil Gets Abuse.

Mesut greats the haters.

Morning, folks.

That was a very good game of football we witnessed yesterday. It ebbed, it flowed, chances were created, goals were scored. Had I been watching from a neutral’s perspective, I would have enjoyed it immensely.

Of course, I’m an Arsenal fan so I enjoyed certain moments of the game immeasurably, only to be left ruing blunders and avoidable concessions in others. Whilst 2-2 against a side of City’s calibre isn’t anything remotely like a terrible result, I can’t help feeling we could have gotten better. That said; City’s supporters could quite easily make the same claim, and taking everything into account a draw was a fair outcome.

By now, you’ll have all seen at least highlights of the game, read a report or have been told what happens so a brief recollection of the main events strikes me as a little pointless (I never report the game’s moments, but feel the need to explain why on occasion.). Instead, I shall discuss a few of the players that received praise/abuse.  Continue reading

Manchester City Starting XI (Predicted), Thoughts And News.

Things happen…

Morning, all

Last season’s performances have made me dread 12:45 kick-offs. For whatever reason, Arsenal played some enormous games occupying the top spot at that time and proceeded to fabulously capitulate. I shan’t go in any detail. Like me, I’m sure the horrors witnessed during those away trips is burnt into your mind for all of time.

For that reason, amongst others, I’m rather glad today’s match is at the Emirates. Not just because we’ll have our vociferous home support to act as the much-fabled ’12th man’, but because the levels of terror rumbling inside my midriff is considerably less than it would be had Arsenal been travelling.

Either way, though, today is a stern test of our credentials. On paper, I consider City to have the strongest squad in the league – you could argue that Chelsea aren’t a million miles behind, but I’d sooner wallow in my own sh*t for a fortnight than offer those dubious scumbags any form of credit.  Continue reading

The Return Of Theo, Bargain Basement Welbeck And James’ Moaning.

“Come on, Sky, turn up at a respectable hour…”

Morning, delightful Earth creatures.

The theme of today’s post is very much waiting. Having recently re-located from Bristol to Gloucester, waiting has very much taken over my life. Previously I’ve waited for large companies such as BT and IKEA to complete relatively straight forward deliveries, only to see them fu*k things up quite spectacularly – our Swedish friends conspired to not actually turn up at all on the day they stated, whilst BT were 4 hours late. Today is the turn of Sky TV’s installation team.

Will they rise from the doldrums like an incandescent Phoenix of professionalism and manage to do as promised, or flounder in a manner similar to their established, gargantuan brethren? Today I’ll find out, and I’m already certain at this hour I’ll have to wait a considerable amount of time in order to do so.

Elsewhere, my morning consists of making phone calls – more waiting – signing up for a Red membership with Arsenal thanks to the reminders of an admirably persistent Joktopus – the same Joktopus who wrote this excellent piece about our perceived issues in defence – and shambling about my new home in just my pants. Continue reading

Wojciech Szczesny Doesn’t Have Any Friends…

“I have at least two friends”

Morning, you scrumptious little rascals.

Welcome to glorious Sunday morning – a morning in which I’m afforded the luxury of not working. Once this post is completed, the joys of trudging around various home improvement outlets awaits me. I’m looking to treat myself to a decorative plant of some description. Yes, folks – my life is THAT crazy.

With that hedonistic pursuit in mind, proceedings will be kept to a minimum today as the throes of excitement truly have me overwhelmed. I’m picturing what lies ahead right now; the tension of selecting the correct decorative plant that turns to sweet joy once the correct choice is made; the ecstasy of queuing for payment; the haunting beauty of wrestling with a f**king plant as I attempt to fit it in the boot of my car; the startled passers-by mumbling with disapproval as I pepper the air with obscenities; the list of delights is endless.

However, now is the time reserved for Arsenal chatter, so it is precisely that I shall serve.  Continue reading

Arsenal Bid £50m For Mega Trans…. Oh, wait….

“James, why are you mentioning that guy? He’s total clownshoes”

Morning, boys ‘n’ girls, and kitty katz, as I imagine kitty katz take great measures to ensure they read this blog.

Now that the horrors of the transfer window are but a speck in the rear-view mirror of the Arsenal juggernaut, suddenly the talking points appear to have dried up. By that I mean the websites famed for spewing copious amounts of dross across cyberspace have to re-think their strategies in order to coerce the unsuspecting onto their sites. God forbid they publish anything relating to the beautiful game we love…

Driving home from work last night listening to 5Live Sport, one of the chief practitioners of writing any old crap to attract hits, Neil Ashton, was a featured panelist. Continue reading

Arsenal “Very Active”, Strikers Wanted, Hooray For Deadline Day…

Poor old Yaya…

Morning, folks.

Not to put too fine a point on it; yesterday was a cack filled extravaganza. It was bloody awful. There is no point hiding from it or trying to brush it under the rug. On the day, Arsenal simply didn’t perform as well, or anywhere near, as good as we all know they are capable.

I watched the game in fits and burst thanks to the unpredictability of my BT connection but saw 80% of what occurred. Needless to say, the result was far from ideal. Leicester, for all the credit they deserve, are a team we should comfortably dispatch. If anything, we can consider ourselves very fortunate to have left with a point. The team again looked sluggish and lacking cohesion.

Most of the post-match chitter-chatter centred around Yaya Sanogo’s ineffectual performance in a team brimming with ineffectual performances. Continue reading

Loic Remy To Arsenal and Leicester City Starting XI

The moment Mesut learned of Cambiasso’s transfer to Leicester…

Hello everyone.

I want you to picture a scene.

Right about now, basking in the glory of having sucessfully moved house and with a new, faster, internet connection installed, a luxuriously-haired scamp sits at his desk feeling immeasurably more important than he ought. Knowing full well that he’s criminally neglected his blog for some time, our rambunctious Bristolian friend silently vows to amend his hell-worthy tresspass.

Then, an ill-tempered voice barks from the darkness…

“GET ON WITH IT!”

So, folks, let’s be having some Arsenal talk – or text, as I’m hardly talking.

With the transfer window fast approaching, the masses are clamouring for recruits. Some urge defensive reinforcements, others look at Olivier Giroud’s lengthy absence and yearn for another striker to be brought in. Continue reading