The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

Uber-Podolski, The Maligning Of Giroud And 3 Scrumptious Points.

2 goals and a good display. Lovely.

Morning, Earthlings.

Last night’s match was a very welcome sight; 3 goals, 3 delicious points and, barring a spell of around 4 minutes when West Ham had the lead, mercifully short of reason for concern or palpitations. As if often the case with Arsenal; what should be relatively straight forward invariably turns to nerve-shredding tension and reason to remove enormous clumps of hair in sheer terror. When there’s a quest ahead, it certainly appears that way to those of us who dedicate our spare time to following them.  We have 5 games remaining this season, if they all go in a similar fashion to last night’s we might make it out of this season with our sanity in tact.

There’s a lot to talk about other than the very welcome result. Two players – Podolski and Giroud – stood out on the night for varying reasons. I thought I’d use this opportunity to discuss both.

Doesn’t that make me sound a touch self-important? Let’s be honest here; who the f**k am I anyway, other than a tall dandy with a glorious accent prone to covering himself in jam during moments of ill-advised ‘humour’. Often I’ll read through lengthy posts containing opinion and think to myself, “Really? Do you honestly think anyones cares what you have to say?”. I guess the key to blogging is the realisation that we’re all pretty much irrelevant in the grand scheme of things; just simple folk sharing our thoughts to those that might stumble upon them.  Continue reading

Manchester City (h): Thoughts, Team News And Predicted Starting XI

“Really, Olivier? Another one?”

Morning, folks.

If you’re wondering where my usual posts have been the last couple of days, I can explain… At present, my life is a marathon run of epic proportion in which I must navigate many stress hurdles. The perils of moving home and selling a house currently is paramount amongst those. In place of my customary tripe you’ve had a few guest posts – I’m using those to fill a little space and, hopefully, give you a little enjoyment – yesterday’s post with a quiz on Arsenal’s history is worth a look.

With a bit of luck, the mayhem will relent soon and I’ll be able to get back to writing everyday properly. As things stand, Daniel and I will be taking a break from the Goonersphere Podcast for a few weeks as he’s as busy as I am with the birth of his first child.

I’m sure you’ll all understand.

Right, onto more pressing concerns and today’s fixture; the visit of free-scoring Manchester City. Continue reading

Arsenal Out Of The Title Race; Cruel Misfortune Costs.

The Running Kim looked pretty useful.

Morning, folks.

When the match finished last night, I had a bath. Normally I’m strictly a shower kinda guy. That might sound like the most pointless and inane of admittance, but it is relevant in a way. Amongst other things, Arsenal can cause me to get wound up. When those other things combine with my beloved football team, they create a sort of uber-stress and the notion of soothing bath appealed to me. To cut a tedious story shot; I thoroughly enjoyed it – no candles – and, if you’re currently filled with Arsenal-induced tension, I can highly recommend one. I might even stretch as far as to buy myself a little rubber duckie.

So, onto the game…

For a minute I enjoyed it, the remaining 89 plus time allotted for stoppages was excruciatingly bloody awful. Nerves were apparent all through the team, which is to be expected, but the fear of failure amongst the players was palpable. The sense of Arsenal easing out games that once was a feature of our play has long deserted us. However, I can’t really offer that many excuses for what I saw. Any team with the aspirations we have should be dispatching Swansea with minimal fuss. We shipped and early goal and although we got ourselves into a winning position thanks to a quick double from Podolski and Giroud, the sense that we wouldn’t hold on was overwhelming.  Continue reading

Swansea (h): Team News, Thoughts And Predicted Starting XI

Andre Mariner’s pre-game preparations became more thorough.

Morning, folks.

What a few days it’s been. Barring the obvious horrors of recent football, I’ve been working far, far too hard for my liking. As I type, my weary bones creak and ache and I’ve bags the size of lemons underneath my eyelids. I look like a distressed Panda.

Mercifully for you lovely people, I retained just enough energy to write this post last night before a well earned snooze. Yesterday I discussed Arsene Wenger and some of the reaction to the notion of him being elsewhere next season. Seems to me the camp is almost completely split down the middle on that one. I’m still unsure myself, often veering wildly from one extreme to the other.

However, there is a slight glimmer of good news today and that comes, according to 888sport in the form of no suspension being handed to either Kieran Gibbs or Alex Oxlade-Chamberlaim after the Andre Mariner fiasco of Saturday.

Continue reading

Chelsea (a): Thoughts, Team News And Predicted Starting XI

Who is that mystical figure to the left?

Morning, folks.

With all the focus on Arsene’s 1000th game, it is quite easy to forget that it happens to be one of Arsenal’s most important games of the season today. Fate has, in no small measure, served up a meeting with Jose Mourinho on a day our manger celebrates a milestone.

Say what you wish about the Portuguese – I’m certainly no fan – but he knows how to win and he’ll use all the unscrupulous methods at his disposal. A trip to Stamford Bridge to play Chelsea is a formidable task indeed. A victory would be sweetest way imaginable to put the “specialist in failure” remarks firmly back from where they came and blow the title race wide open.

The team news has thrown up a few concerns. Continue reading

Tomas Rosicky And The Fountain Of Youth.

Eternally young?

January 2008. The heart-breaking moment when news is delivered to Tomas Rosicky that he has been struck down with a case of “The Gods hate Arsenal”. Gooners capable of understanding how football is actually played are beside themselves with grief. Tomas spends a large amount of his time in rehabilitation trying to recover from this setback. However he is stricken once more and as he ages he begins to worry for his career. He then decided that fear was for fannybandits and set off in search of The Fountain Of Youth.

Tomas set out quickly for word had reached his ears that the w*nky Tottenham Hotspur had sent out their own expedition to find the fabled Fuente de la Eterna Juventud in a desperate, futile attempt to save Ledley King’s knee. Having gathered supplies Tomas set about convincing his close friend Mathieu Flamini to accompany him on the expedition, just in case Danny Rose had to be put back in his place. Mathieu faked his disappearance to Milan and Jared Leto was hired to portray Rosicky at home. The friends set forth on their ship, heading to the New World in the West. Continue reading

Arsenal Splash £100m, Sagna, Arsene And The Summer

They offered how much?

Howdy, peeps.

I hope this latest instalment of mine finds you well, nourished and enjoying life.  The weekend still lies on my memory. One thing I’ve often found as a Arsenal fan is that my general mood and enjoyment of daily activities is greatly diminished when the team lose. When they win, the opposite comes into play. Coupled with the joys of spring time, winning a NLD finds me the picture of ebullience today. I’m probably bloody irritating to be around, such is my chipper and spirited mood.

A lot of the talk in newsworld surrounds the summer. When all the hullabaloo dies down about the NLD – especially a certain Mickey Hazard’s hilarious comments accusing Sczsesny of attempting to start a riot by taking a picture on the field at White Hart Lane – things get back to a degree of normality. As the stories being blown out of rational proportion die out, they speculative ones emerge. Such is the nature of news, and Mickey Hazard, who, let’s be honest here, has always been a bit of a cry-baby. Continue reading