The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

Mesut medical magic. Bring on the signings! Ba? Viviano? More?


Afternoon, folks.

On the rare occasions I offer up a bonus, special, unexpected post, it’s usually because I’m bored or feel like doing something bloody silly. Today, it’s because of good old fashioned hope.

As I’m typing this, Arsenal are edging ever closer to announcing a record deal that will see Mesut Ozil join from Real Madrid. Barring something spectacularly awful happening – I’ve not written it off – Arsene will have his grubby paws on a truly wonderful player. Not a talented youngster with bags of potential or an obscure name he can mould toward greatness, but arguably one of the top 5 attacking players in world football. Mesut Ozil is that good.

As I’m typing, just about every news outlet is suffering meltdown from the amount of Gooners and other fans ignoring their jobs to hunt for scraps of news. It’s all gone a little bonkers out there, but it isn’t half exciting. And it would appear there is more to come. Nothing is confirmed officially yet, but I don’t think we’ll stop at Ozil.

Emilliano Viviano of Palermo and Demba Ba are currently the most likely with alleged interest in Angel Di Maria appearing to have cooled since the Ozil deal neared completion. But, as we all know, there’s still plenty of time for something to happen. In 6 hours the window will close, and by that time I think we could all be very pleasantly surprised.

No one could dispute Arsene should have acted sooner, but if he had, we’d have been spared all the fun and games of today. The transfer window has been a seemingly interminable trek through yards and yards of sh*te, yet there is a bright, welcoming light on the horizon. I feel ebullient and ready to frolic naked through a meadow signing show tunes. I want to hug, kiss and awkwardly grope each and every one of you. I am a happy fellow at the moment.

I think I’m going to press my face against the computer screen and pray for that confirmation. We are so close now…

So, folks, who do you think we could sign realistically? More than 2? Do we need a defender? Are you happy to be linked to Demba Ba? Take a moment to let me know in the comments.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

Defensive blunders, and Arsenal announce mega, super, awesome, spectacular, amazing, astonishing deal to sign… nobody.

“Someone, anyone?”

Afternoon, my little delights.

That dreaded day is upon us. We’ve waited 30 days in drooling expectation, some of us will foolishly be glued to the interweb in the hope of a late shock materialising. Transfer deadline day is here.

Will Arsenal sign a player? No – well, not unless something truly miraculous happens, and I doubt that. Whilst others conduct their business and bring in players with what appears to be no difficulty, Arsenal flounder; we falter, offer false hope and invariably do the thing we all kind of knew would happen – sod all. Those “top, top, exceptional” quality footballers are just too damn elusive this time of year.

If Arsene believes in the strength of his squad, then that’s fine with me. I don’t agree, but I’m not a Premiership manager on a seven-figure income. What do I know? I’m just a humble supporter.

Well, I know that, along with the Gooner vox populi, I see glaring holes in the current squad that could do with being plugged. Whilst others like to scream obscenities and angry declarations such as, “Damn you, Wenger! Buy a f**king player!!” I prefer to let things be. I disagree with our current policy in the market about as much as anybody can, but I shan’t be screaming it at the top of my lungs, or plastering my Twitter account with ill-advised and puerile statements. Such acts change nothing, and a supporters job is to support – although, a good moan every now and then doesn’t go amiss.

My advice to you, the delicious reader, would be avoiding the late-night updates and constant news covering today’s window. Avoid it like you would an angry hobo with a used needle in his filthy grasp. Assume nothing will happen because that’s comfortably the most likely outcome. Should the unexpected occur, there will be a nice surprise waiting for you tomorrow morning. Getting wound up watching the minutes pass in front of Sky Sports News won’t make anyone feel better.

With all the hullabaloo and balderdash about, it’s easy to forget the players we do have took part in a competitive fixture last night. Havinfg conceded two goals straight from the ‘Hey, this is how not to defend’ handbook, the boys showed, as the often tend to when behind in games, that we do have some excellent players with spirit and desire. A 2-2 draw with Liverpool wasn’t ideal, but I’d gladly have taken it on 60 minutes. Both Spurs and Chelsea drew, so we’d didn’t lose any ground on them.

It certainly would be remiss of me to not mention the catastrophic defending. One thing I regularly notice is the consistency with which our defenders fall over at the least opportune moment. Think about it for a second; how many times can you remember a slip or a stumble leading to a goal conceded? I can think of plenty.

On paper, our starting back four and keeper looks solid. In practice, they look like a bewildered bunch of street performers, prancing here and there with little in the way of choreography. The problems baffle me, and you know they’re bad when a player as woefully average as Jordan Henderson can waltz through your penalty area and score.

Work needs to be done. work has needed to be done for sometime. Many folks I hear claim our deficiencies to be down to simple misfortune. I disagree. There is a fundamental lack of organistation and leadership at the back, and the work needs to be done there first and foremost. As an attacking force, our problems are minimal. If the team applied themselves to defence with the verve they dedicate to bounding upfield in search of glory, perhaps these problems might not occur so frequently.

But hey, that’s just me. On that note, I shall leave you for the day. I hope you fine people will take my advice and avert your respective glares from all sports channels for the evening. Let’s just accept what’s coming. There’s no sense bickering with each other over it.

Leave me a comment below, and thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.