THIS! IS! Not really what we were expecting, Arsenal. Come on now…
We’ve heard these dreaded words before. Standing in a brightly blooming field of hopes, Arsenal fans have yearned for the glory of shiny new additions to the team. Fingers crossed, and with belief of change in fortune we’ve waited patiently for something to happen. Then Arsene Wenger utters that oh-so familiar phrase mere weeks before the next season starts:
“We work hard but we are not close to signing anybody”
Oh f**k it.
As I type, the news is plastered across social media networks and there’s a full, ugly meltdown occurring. Those folks eagerly awaiting something to latch their depressing mopes on are spewing out hateful dross at a startling rate. Optimists are cowering for their own safety, lest a single utterance of “Arsene knows best” inadvertently starts a full-blown nuclear war.
In short; the Arsenal community has taken leave of it’s senses. And why? Becuase we aren’t close to signing someone. Judging by the reaction, you’d be forgiven for thinking our dapper manager had just taken a sh*t in the centre circle at The Emirates, and then uploaded a video of him doing a Demi Moore with all the money he won’t be spending.
Yet, to say we aren’t close is a typically ‘Arsene’ thing to do. I recall he stated there was no deal for Arteta days before a deal for Arteta materialised. Santi Cazorla’s signing popped up on us out of thin air. Right or wrong, Arsene tends not to conduct his business in the media, and rarely goes into any detail of his plans when quizzed about transfers.
I can understand the frustration. I really can. There are moments I sit behind my desk and ponder to myself whether signing a player is really as complicated as he makes it out to be. Other mangers don’t seem to suffer the same troubles. We’ve been sold a promise of big name additions, and we’d like to see that promise kept. All that I understand completely.
What I consider peculiar is how eager some supporters are to have something to blurt out vitriol toward. As it stands, we have made one signing – a young Frenchman who is as far removed from a marquee acquisition as can be. There is still plenty of time for more. Granted, it does appear that we are dithering to the point of madness, but there’s no need to frantically push the panic button quite yet.
Incidentally, on the subject of dithering; what exactly does Dick Law do? It doesn’t appear to be anything of note. By all accounts he has the negotiating skills of an indecisive herring. And a blind one, to boot. I’ve never even seen the man. Perhaps he’s a myth, an enigma created by the board to make us think there’s an elite man on the case, when in reality he doesn’t exist. Alternatively, he could well be some bimblingly incompetent octogenarian with a gammy hip and a debilitating case of Alzheimer’s:
- “Gonzalo who? Eh? What? Have you got my laundry, Timothy? I want some pudding”
I’m getting off topic. Where was I? Oh yeah – transfer stuff. Actually, to tell the truth, I’ve stopped writing for a moment, and I’m now dancing about the house to this little gem of a song by Above The Law.
Digressions, digressions.. .
There are still 4 weeks until the season starts. In an ideal world, Arsenal fans would be whipped into a frenzy of expectation by the 3-4 world class players already purchased in plenty of time. As I’m sure you are aware, we do not live in a perfect world. But, we do live in a world where we can be surprised from time to time.
Now’s not the time for rampaging bouts of negativity. Save those for the moment something awful happens and there is little else to do. If, come the close of the transfer window, we haven’t signed a few hot-shots, then it’s probably a good time to go ballistic and smash something up. Okay – not the last part, I don’t especially want to be held responsible for property damage.
Until that occurs, it’s pointless getting all aggressive and blurty. This time of the years is maddening to say the least. Suffocating clouds of bullsh*t block out the few rays of truth out there, and it’s best to avoid the whole thing altogether. It’s better for your health.
I’m still going to keep the faith, even if it’s being tested on a daily basis.
Lastly, I should mention yesterdays friendly (I had forgotten, in all honesty). I watched the game on Arsenal Player, and whilst it was a fairly drab affair, there were a few moments to get excited about. Olivier Giroud, the handsome devil, scored a hat-trick, our forward play looked good, and the cameo from young Gedion Zalalem had even the most respected of website owners saying jarringly inappropriate things:
Okay, Mean. Steady on, sir…
That’s all for today, folks. I hope you’ll take whatever may be rattling around your mind and feverishly scribe those thoughts in the handy comments section below. Do you think we’ll end up with Sanogo and Diaby as the new signings, or does your faith of big incomings remain intact? Let me know.
As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.