With the signing of Gabriel Paulista all but secured for an undisclosed fee (Why do Clubs often refuse to disclose fees? Is it to repell startled inhalations at such a hefty price tag? To stifle the sellers’ fans from kicking up a fuss at a player being sold under market value? Perhaps it’s to be surreptitious for no good reason. Never mind…) from La Liga outfit Villareal, I thought I’d take a moment to delve into who he actually is.
That means scouring compilation/welcome videos that have emerged all over YouTube and checking vital statistics via his Wikipedia page. With Arsenal being one of the best represented teams in terms of an online community, it came as no surprise that there are many of these. In fact, I’d go as far as saying they’re pretty much useless.
Anyone can chop together a reel of their finest footballing moments, plaster it across cyberspace and come across as half decent. I’m fairly sure I could do it. It’s simple; edit together a few choice moments, play some pulsating German techno in the background, add a few bombastic graphics and all of a sudden the internet is clamouring for me to be signed for Arsenal. Of course, they’ll be blissfully unaware of just how jarringly sh*t I actually am until they’re petitioning for me to be shot after having failed to mark Peter Crouch at a corner. Bloody zonal marking… Continue reading