The bewlidering world of Theo Walcott.

Good evening, you sexually provocative bunch of rascals.

It’s one of those days today. I could be watching ‘El Clasico’, but the sight of Cesc gleefully exchanging passes with Messi whilst skipping about the pitch like a Rabbit in a meadow invariably fills me with resentment. Coupled with the fact it’s a game with petulance levels to rival a over-privileged kids primary school, I decided I’d sooner urinate incandescent razor blades. If there has ever been a larger collection of deplorable, irksome, whiney tits on a football field, I am yet to witness it.

Doing my rounds navigating all those wonderful news outlets across Goonerland, I came across on or two discussions regarding perpetual underachiever and king of the cross-cum-shot, Theo Walcott. At the beginning of the month, preliminary contract negotiations between Theo and the club opened. Walcott and van Persie’s contracts both end in the summer of 2013, and whilst we should throw everything from Vegas dancers to gold encrusted money at Robin, Theo’s alleged wage demands of £85k per week abhor me slightly. Our talismanic Dutchman’s performances and influence warrant a bumper wage increase, but do Walcott’s? I’m not so sure… No.. I’m absolutely certain they don’t.

Our No14 can be brilliant and unbelievably shit-awful in equal measure. When he performs, when his decision making is good; he can be a real handful for anyone. When his game is off, however, he can look like a rat scuttling about the kitchen after the light’s switched on. There have been moments this season where could of happily throttled him. The debacle at Old Trafford being paramount amongst the examples I could mention; he was bloody dreadful at Swansea, too.

And that’s my point regarding his contract. The numbers quoted are ridiculous. Until he can provide some level of consistency in his play (that isn’t bad), the club shouldn’t pay him a raise like that. He has to prove himself. I believe that underneath the frustration lies a player that’s can become a vital cog in the Arsenal machine, but that’s the same thing said at the beginning of the past 5 seasons. The time for Theo to act is now, and the club shouldn’t consider his contract until he has. Unlike Robin van Persie, he isn’t irreplaceable.

Thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards. Take a moment to engage with me in the comment and follow my Twitter account – @Puddleduck1978.

9 Comments

  1. Captain Kirk

    Sadly players today do demand those figures & can mostly get them either with you or elsewhere. It will be interesting to see if anyone offers Theo those monies or whether he will have to swallow his pride & negotiate a smaller increase. I’d still be tempted to perceiver with TW but only on a performance pay scale, he delivers then we deliver the spondoolies otherwise sayonara.

    Reply
  2. Blades

    Theo needs to realise the only reason King Henry has come back to Arsenal is because Theo needs instructions on how to be consistent. For a senior player he is still a bit part player and Wenger knows that is not good enough. Sadly, Theo will get no better but his salary will increase at the expense of the fans.

    Reply
  3. Wasiu

    Theo is very replaceable eg. Hoilett of blackburn

    Reply
  4. dudu cane

    you’ve got to ask yourself,’how old is Theo’? Let’s accept that his footballing brain is still growing.

    Reply
    1. Jay-Jay (Post author)

      How old is Jack Wilshere? He’s got one.

      Reply
      1. boyo

        well played

        Reply
      2. McTavish

        Spot on Jay-Jay.

        Reply
  5. McTavish

    Walcott has had endless opportunities to establish his place as a consistent performer on the right wing. He hasn’t take it. I can’t see any justification for a wage rise. When he can’t even put one decent ball in against Swansea, even allowing that he scored a well-taken goal, I don’t see why he should be persevered with. AOC is a far better footballer. He has balance, awareness, and always tries to something with his final pass. I have to say I turned against Walcott during the hiding against Manure, when he was yelling at Jenkinson, and I’ve seen nothing since then to change my mind. From the positions that he gets into, he must have a, what, 5% success rate of a decent ball, if that. I think we should cash him in in the summer. The thing is, you can talk about his age, and he is still young, but the truth is, you either have it or you don’t. And he doesn’t. £85k a week? You’re having a laugh son.

    Reply
  6. boyo

    Not all young players keep developing some never reach the hights we hope for Walcott is no better than 2 seasons ago

    Reply

Leave a comment. Go on, you know you wanna...