The Return Of Theo, Bargain Basement Welbeck And James’ Moaning.

“Come on, Sky, turn up at a respectable hour…”

Morning, delightful Earth creatures.

The theme of today’s post is very much waiting. Having recently re-located from Bristol to Gloucester, waiting has very much taken over my life. Previously I’ve waited for large companies such as BT and IKEA to complete relatively straight forward deliveries, only to see them fu*k things up quite spectacularly – our Swedish friends conspired to not actually turn up at all on the day they stated, whilst BT were 4 hours late. Today is the turn of Sky TV’s installation team.

Will they rise from the doldrums like an incandescent Phoenix of professionalism and manage to do as promised, or flounder in a manner similar to their established, gargantuan brethren? Today I’ll find out, and I’m already certain at this hour I’ll have to wait a considerable amount of time in order to do so.

Elsewhere, my morning consists of making phone calls – more waiting – signing up for a Red membership with Arsenal thanks to the reminders of an admirably persistent Joktopus – the same Joktopus who wrote this excellent piece about our perceived issues in defence – and shambling about my new home in just my pants. Those of you that thought the life of a blogger was all hedonism and dancing girls are sorely mistaken – actually, that’s not too far off at times…

In keeping with today’s theme, having read through 3 paragraphs of me rattling on about extraneous things from my personal life,  I imagine you’re now waiting for some Arsenal news.

Now that the interminable break for international football is behind us, focus has turned to the important matter of the weekend’s fixtures. Manchester City visit the Emirates for Saturday’s 12;45 kick-off – ominously, I might add, given our results last season at that game time. Injuries and potential selections take up the majority of column inches. Although it is impossible to know for certain until the words tumble from Arsene Wenger’s mouth, Arteta, Koscielny, Ozil and Ramsey should all be available to start the game.

One player who may have to wait – THEME – a little longer is Theo Walcott. Having initially been rumoured to return against Spurs at the end of the month, our speedster friend has poured a little icy water on those claims, stating he has no set time and, intelligently, won’t be rushed back into action.

Speaking in a feculent newspaper I refuse to credit, he said:

“I haven’t put a specific date or looked at a game yet. There were rumours of me coming back for the Spurs game which is definitely not going to happen, that’s for sure.

“I’m taking it week by week. It tends to fly by and it’s not months anymore, which is a nice feeling.”

It speaks volumes for our offensive options that I’m not at all worried if Theo re-intergrates into the team leisurely. Alexis and The Ox can both play that right-sided attacking role with aplomb.

*I’ve stared at the screen for 5 minutes debating how to segue into discussing Danny Welbeck, and just decided to say, “fu*k it” and go straight into it*

The Welbeck aquisition (sounds like a Spy film) was one that raised a few eyebrows on account of the price. Many thought £16m for a “cast off” from United was a touch steep. I beg to differ. Having given it a little thought, it’s very much bargain basement – I abhor that description, it always strikes me as sounding like a seedy dungeon in which one can acquire the services of maidens of haggard appearance and ill-repute.

“Finances are tight this month. Drat! I wish to cater to my sexual whims but can’t afford a temptress of luxury. Quick, to the bargain basement!”

A great amount of pundits and former teammates appear to agree that Arsene has secured the services of a excellent player at a very reasonable price. Both Rio Ferdinand and Gary Neville sung Welbeck’s praises and feel Arsenal will get the best from him if deployed centrally – I can’t see Arsene playing him anywhere else.

And that’s about it for this morning. I’m going to make some breakfast, twiddle my thumbs and probably find myself boiling into an uncontrollable rage as I await my delicious sports channels.

The comments section is below this post and it’s ready, willing and able to host all those ponderings and opinions swirling about your respective heads. Feel free to jot down some of those thoughts and I’ll do my best to reply to a few.

I shall return tomorrow with more, assuming I haven’t lambasted Sky publicly and suffered an untimely demise at the hands of their complaint ninjas. Until then, and as always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.


5 thoughts on “The Return Of Theo, Bargain Basement Welbeck And James’ Moaning.”

  1. As always you give my morning coffee a sting of luxury. And I do think that the Welbeck signing will be proven to be something we can taunt that loathsome bunch of Fergielovers a long, looooong, time ahead.


  2. Hi James.
    Danny boy was pretty expensive for a ManUre cast off indeed. Have been standing against many pundit until Switzerland match, Rio and Gary just shown us their idea about how Danny will get success in his (ex) rival jersey. Danny should got his mentality boost before he jump out on the pitch against City. I won’t play hard on him, but really, he’s now our FIRST OPTION up front. So, how can we not put any weight expectation on his shoulder? There’ll be a chance to you to get into another moan after the game James. But really, live or even death (you can argue that) is all about changes.

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