The Superhuman Powers Of Abou Diaby.

Abou at his imperious best.

Morning, folks.

Surprisingly, my Sky Sports package arrived promptly yesterday. I had initially assumed I’d be spending the morning/afternoon pacing the house waiting for the technician to turn up, only for the event to occur at the very last available moment.

It was a pleasant occurrence, and being afforded the luxury of all those delicious sports channels in HD allowed me to watch last nights U21s game between Aston Villa and Arsenal at Villa Park.

From a first team perspective, Abou Diaby completing 90 minutes was significant. We’ve all witnessed countless false dawns with Abou over the years. Undoubtedly a player of great, great talent, his anatomy has proven as reliable as a wheelchair made of cheese. Misfortunate has cost him an enormous chunk of what was a promising career. We’ve all pondered just how big a player he could have been for Arsenal had he not suffered at the feet of that cretinous, ex-Sunderland call station worker.

And now I find myself hoping that this will be the time he puts all those troubles and ailments behind him and gets a full season’s football under his belt. History tells us that isn’t at all likely, that Abou’s delicate skeletal/muscular structure is mere moments away from failing him again.

Yet here I am, hoping. Should the unlikely occur, should we get to see a sustained run from Diaby in the Arsenal first team, I have no doubts he could become an essential cog in the machine. Frequently likened to Patrick Vieira – not without warrant – the guy can be practically unplayable when in form – his performance at Anfield in 2012 being an exceptional example of this. Strong in the tackle, physically imposing, skilful and intelligent, Diaby has everything you could want from a central midfielder.

I guess time will tell. Here’s crossing all crossable bits that it does.

Other notable performances from the U21s game were Chuba Akpom who looked a constant threat and scored both goals in a 2-0 victory, Issac Hayden in defence and an assured display in goal from Emiliano Martinez.

In other news, Arsenal Player features a video of the team’s official photograph and the phenomenal amounts of “banter” that went with it. We’re talking #Banter here; banter of the highest degree, banter that’s so ‘banter’ it resides in a small trailer park in Bantersville, Tennessee. Seriously, it’s banter…

Elsewhere amongst the news treats, monumental bellend, Louis Van Gaal has cast some light on his reasons for selling Danny Welbeck, stating his record isn’t on par with Fat Pensioner Enthusiast and Irritating Dutch Tw*t as those two “set the standard”. Admittedly, it is difficult to dispute that fact, but I do feel it’s a touch unfair not to mention the amount of time Welbeck played at United out of his favoured position.

To be honest, I couldn’t really care less what Van Gaal says. The man might have unquestionable managerial nous, but I tend to ignore that because he is a cu*t of near biblical proportion, plus he sounds like a malfunctioning door entry system when he talks in that infuriating faltering style he has. The man is a world-class prick and best ignored. The likelihood of anyone else’s opinion penetrating his ego is minimal anyway.

Lastly, it is looking increasingly unlikely Aaron Ramsey will feature on Saturday, which is a blow, but far from catostrophic when you take into account the injury is small. I’d far rather, at this stage, chances were not taken with his fitness. We have more than enough cover in central midfield to compensate for his absence.

I’m sure more news will surface today.

Until then, hit me up with some of your thoughts in the comments section. I’ll be back to preview the game tomorrow morning. Until that time, and as always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

Before you go, might I point you in the direction of this excellent article written by Tim Stillman for Arseblog. It’s about the removal of homophobia from football and why the rainbow laces campaign is so important. Give it a read by clicking here.

7 Comments

  1. CB

    Look at Thierry Henry’s record playing on the left and then what happened when he came to Arsenal at the age of 22. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thierry_Henry

    Wellbeck’s goals per game is better. Let’s hope he can take off in the same way.

    Reply
    1. James 'Raul' Stokes (Post author)

      @CB: Wouldn’t that be nice 🙂

      Reply
  2. Blessing

    van gaal has not taken the fifa world cup yet he has more to say about wellbeck, that’s very rich coming from him.

    Reply
  3. Robbie Rotten

    You beautiful bastard yourself. Diaby is a top drawer human being in many ways, here’s hoping for a solid, uninjured season for him.

    Reply
  4. kaanyow

    Wooow! I Lurv dis.. I wudn’t have written it better than this <3 Ur Post is #On_Point

    Reply
  5. haziq

    You sir, are one of greatest when it comes to giving proper adjectives to d twats of the world like van gaal van prick.

    Reply
  6. Ray from Norfolk, Virginia

    Lucky Diaby is not Scottish, and is wearing underware. Jonjo Shelvey has grabbed his shorts and “revealed” the underwear’s white color. If not, ie if Diaby had gone Scottish, we would have seen more of the “superhuman p…” you refer to in the title.

    Reply

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