The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

Unexploded transfer bombs.

“Tom, you’ll need to have that looked at”

Good evening, fellow Earth creatures.

It’s late. I know, I know – I ought be publishing my drivel at a more acceptable time of day. Some of you have jobs, you have spicy sexual practices, you have a penchant for television programmes and the lateness may prevent some of you reading. For that, I apologise and I do so profusely.

Talk of all things Arsenal has built to a crescendo. A crescendo of tedium and exasperated huffing. There’s so little going on out there relating to our beautiful club. We long to feel the soothing warmth of Arsene’s mellifluous tones informing us of team spirit and “great mental strength”. Instead, we are left to fein interest in a European championships and hope that Xavi and Busquets don’t get their grubby paws anywhere near another prestigious trophy – my support for Italy in the final has nothing to do with the whopping £32 I’m set to win if they emerge the victor…

But I sense news brewing. Like an unexploded bomb buried in the sand, something awaits to punctuate the lamentable boredom and brighten our summer. It’s out there, folks. I feel the unmistakeble stirring of my loins. Something of note, of importance, awaits us.

The only question that remains until it’s great unveiling is “what?”. Well, it could be a plethora of things. Perhaps, our great Dutch talisman will announce he’s told Manchester City to insert their vast fortune into an orifice usually used to repel things. He’s a Gooner, and, by the power of Christ (or Greyskull), he’ll be going nowhere. A glorious charge for domestic immortality awaits him.

Of course, we could be nearing another ‘Sol Campbell’ moment. Arsene Wenger is a clandestine and wily individual – who knows what dastardly schemes he’s put into action. A bid for someone few of us would dare dream of? It could be. A double signing from under the noses of one of our rivals? We can only cross those parts of our anatomy God intended to be crossed.

The point to all this – there is one – is deliciously simple: at a time where none of us can truly know what awaits us, why not be light-hearted and jovial? Too many folks out there allow themselves to get sucked into the maelstrom of bitterness, and for what? Do they hope perennial misery will some how affect the choices of those that reside in positions of power?

As supporters, we have a right to be heard; to make known our grievances. But at a time where speculation rules, why not hope for the best? There is a clean slate ahead of us. A brand new, as-yet un-sullied league season awaits. Hope should return, and that we missed for huge parts of the previous campaign.

Time will tell who we go into the new season with. I hope you’ll join me in quietly believing it’s going to be something good this time around.

That’s me done for today. Apologies again for the lateness. I hope you’ll take a moment to comment in the section below.

I shall return.

Category: News
  • AisanGooner says:

    A whole article saying absolutely nothing.

    June 30, 2012 at 3:36 am
    • Albert says:

      You missed the point. Speaks a lot about someone who misspelt ASIAN.

      And what is it with these [Insert your race here] Gooner? For the life of me, I can ever understand why people do that. Does it matter if you’re an Asian, African, American…………………… Zoolander Gooner?? Geez.

      June 30, 2012 at 7:54 am
      • Big Al, Koh Samui, Thailand says:

        AisanGooner missed WHAT point?
        As he/she said, a whole article saying absolutely nothing.

        “And what is it with these [Insert your race here] Gooner?”
        these…Gooner (singular) ???

        June 30, 2012 at 8:22 am
  • Nlkit says:

    We can brace ourselves for double bids, lionel messi and wayne rooney. Is wenger preparing bids for the two? has usmanov finally got his way and poured millions of pounds to fund mega transfers? Nice dream, but gooner for life.

    June 30, 2012 at 5:53 am
  • kewlnchilled says:

    “A whole article saying absolutely nothing.”

    +1

    June 30, 2012 at 6:44 am
    • James 'Raul' Stokes says:

      A whole article saying nothing – perhaps.

      A bunch of idiots commenting on something they claim as “nothing” – definitely.

      June 30, 2012 at 7:25 pm
      • Big Al, Koh Samui, Thailand says:

        As for referring to those who dare to criticise your post as idiots, name-calling is pure childishness. Grow up, or quit posting.
        If you can’t take the heat…

        You took 40 lines of text to basically say:
        “But I sense news brewing….something of note, of importance, awaits us.” 40 lines!

        So the ‘something’ you’re saying, in my book, amounts to nothing.

        July 1, 2012 at 11:39 am
        • James 'Raul' Stokes says:

          If you don’t like it, don t come back. It’s that simple.

          Your opinion means nothing to me.

          July 1, 2012 at 6:35 pm
  • Bellagio says:

    Two minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

    June 30, 2012 at 7:40 am
  • bc says:

    With replacements for vela and bendtner in the bag i expect those 2 to move on pretty quickly.
    i am still hoping that these players will join our push for the title yanga-mbwia vertonghen mvila belhanda and hoilett. if these 5 come i expect this lot to leave squillaci djourou denilson eastmond lansbury chamakh arshavin park

    June 30, 2012 at 7:51 am
  • Jeff says:

    I can’t wait for the transfer window to close so I don’t have to hear (and fear) the talk of City making a 79 gajillion pound offer for Jesus Christ, Messi, Ronaldo and RVP. The thought of losing RVP, to an EPL team no less, and Wenger tucking money away in coffee at the same time cans makes me ill. If RVP goes, just make it anywhere but England and for a lot of money. If he stays, spend some more and make a total commitment, none of this Turkish market haggling where you give up on the magic lamp because the vendor wont come down that extra 10p. Time to go throw up.

    June 30, 2012 at 10:56 am
  • Jeff says:

    Sorry, tucking away money in coffee CANS, not coffee.

    June 30, 2012 at 10:57 am
  • Rob says:

    No, I disagree there is a point to this blog, it’s a simple yet subtle one. The lack of anything worth commenting on over the last few days has been very noticable, this might just be the ‘lull before the storm’.. Or as the writer has cleverly alluded to that “Sol Campbell Moment”… When all of sudden something totally unexpected rockets out of the left field and smacks you right in the kisser.. Wenger is well overdue one of these ‘moments’, is it about to happen again ?

    June 30, 2012 at 3:34 pm
    • James 'Raul' Stokes says:

      Thank you, Rob – for your comments, and actually reading what I posted.

      June 30, 2012 at 7:26 pm
  • Rob says:

    For a ‘no news’ day, it was a pretty good post James, and a damn sight better than most of the others. A little bit of wishful thinking perhaps, but hell isn’t that what being a fan is all about at this time of the year ?

    July 1, 2012 at 1:55 am
    • Big Al, Koh Samui, Thailand says:

      Let me guess your favourite pastime (after blogging, of course):
      Watching paint dry?

      One of my favourite hobbies is letting my uncle see how many fingers he can get into my asshole. We got up to 4 last week!

      July 1, 2012 at 12:30 pm
      • Big Al, Koh Samui, Thailand says:

        The ‘reply’ above was TAMPERED with.
        I only wrote the first two lines.
        The second two lines were ADDED either by ‘ROB or ???.

        That is totally out of order and perhaps sums up this site.

        July 2, 2012 at 11:54 am
  • Big Al, Koh Samui, Thailand says:

    @Armchair Gooner

    May I ask you WHO added to my blog?
    I don’t mind at all if someone wishes to reply to me in anyway-shape -or-form, but to INTERFERE with an actual blog in this way is childish and SHAMEFUL.

    July 2, 2012 at 11:57 am
  • Big Al, Koh Samui, Thailand says:

    @Armchair Gooner

    Final comment…
    Many children, both boys and girls, surf the football sites.
    The two lines of text added to “my” blog is in language I would never place on the internet. Hang your head in shame whoever is to blame for writing those words.

    Think about the kids…

    July 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm
  • James 'Raul' Stokes says:

    You are starting to get just a little tiresome.

    If you want to post drivel and churlish nonsense, please do it somewhere else.

    I welcome criticism if it’s constructive, but you’ve done nothing but moan about a post you didn’t like. Like I said; if you don’t like my site, then please go and read another one and don’t return here.

    And spare me the melodrama, too.

    July 2, 2012 at 3:30 pm
  • Big Al, Koh Samui, Thailand says:

    “One of my favourite hobbies is letting my uncle see how many fingers he can get into my asshole. We got up to 4 last week!”

    Now, that’s drivel and CHILDISH nonsense. Grow up, and I say that constructively.
    And you quite clearly don’t welcome criticism: “A bunch of idiots commenting…” quite clearly demonstrates that point.

    ps: FOUR people criticised your post out of EIGHT bloggers.

    July 2, 2012 at 6:30 pm
    • James 'Raul' Stokes says:

      I’m not sure how many times I’m going to have to say this in order for you to understand; you obviously don’t like what I write, and that’s fine by me. Go and read another blog and don’t keep coming back to mine.

      Lastly, writing words in CAPITALS doesn’t HELP you to get your point ACROSS…

      July 2, 2012 at 10:07 pm
  • Mav361 says:

    Big Al,

    You need to chill, you are missing the point of the blog totally

    As to the 4 finger comment

    Childish………. Certainly

    Shameful…………. Definitely

    Funny………… As fuck

    Chill out life is too short

    July 2, 2012 at 7:51 pm
  • JacksonDeGovia says:

    I don’t understand how anyone can have a go at blog content when they post things about ther uncle?

    The post above was perfectly okay. There was no news, at least he made an effort and said something.

    July 2, 2012 at 10:20 pm

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