Yesterday there was an eruption. It was an explosion of news and most of it was of the silly variety. There were no fabulous moments of blinding clarity or life-affirming statements from ethereal creatures ordained by god to share their message of enlightenment. This is the world of Arsenal on the internet; it was mostly balderdash and stuff that irritates.
We’ll deal with the balderdash first.
You know those folks who claim to have insider knowledge and say things like:
“I’ve got huge news about Arsenal. Will tell you all in 3 days. It’s a mega exclusive.”
They get right up my arse. They really do. I know, I know – allowing anything that’s said online to wind you up is essentially an act of monumental futility. Where possible I try to just ignore it, but sometimes I can’t. People like those I mentioned – I’m not going to name names – really are the worst kind; parasitic individuals hoping to further their ridiculously bloated profiles by suckering fans in with spurious dross.
The latest bit of muck is about Arsene Wenger meeting with Robin van Persie’s agent to discuss a move back to The Emirates over the summer. It’s a load of old poppycock. It really is f**king stupid. In fact, I’m almost ashamed of myself for giving it the time of day. No – I am ashamed of myself.
Sometimes stories like that are so mendacious that, against any better judgement I might have, I react and discuss them. What irks me most about the story is how something so utterly silly gets the kind of exposure I could only dream of. Making stuff up about transfers if a sure fire way to get hits if you have a blog. The best line contained within is about the price tag – does anyone honestly think Arsene Wenger would pay £29m for an injury-prone 31-year-old he sold two years ago for £24m? That’s completely insane, yet it’s been lapped up by almost every media outlet.
Elsewhere, we had good old Jose Mourinho up to his usual trick, showing the world just how much of a tw*t one man is capable of being. Without any provocation I can find, he took a bizarre swipe at Arsene in the press, branding him a “specialist in failure“.
Mourinho is a tw*t. You know it, I know it, the whole world knows it. There’s absolutely no surprise he’s said something like that. These things happen in football. If you ramp up the tension between two rivals in the press then, inevitably, one will bite at the other. The British media like to make angry dogs angrier and them release them onto each other. Sad, but that’s the way things go.
I don’t especially care what Mourinho has to say, I never have. He’s just a darling of the papers because his controversial remarks can be printed and glean great circulation. That’s all it is. As Charlie Brooker once said of taunting Jeremy Clarkson: “It’s like pouring w*nker fuel into a pr*ck engine”.
Lastly today, some news that is actually pertinent. Santi Cazorla has suffered a bout of illness and is wrapped up in bed - that image is so adorable; I bet he has a racing car bed with a enormous teddy bear on it. He’ll miss the Liverpool game, but The Flame does return to the squad to break some bones. Arsene has hinted he’ll rotate slightly with Bayern Munich in mind. Tomorrow I’ll be previewing that game in full.
Until then, why not drop me a comment below with your thoughts on the two stories. Is there any circumstance in which you would welcome back Robin van Persie back to Arsenal, or would you prefer he be shot into the moon for his slights against the Club? I’m firmly in the latter camp.
As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.