The Armchair Gooner

An Arsenal blog bringing you news, opinion and humour on a daily basis. Well, I'll try at the very least…

van Persie returns, Mourinho’s Snide Blathering and Early Liverpool Bits.

News explosion!

Morning, folks.

Yesterday there was an eruption. It was an explosion of news and most of it was of the silly variety. There were no fabulous moments of blinding clarity or life-affirming statements from ethereal creatures ordained by god to share their message of enlightenment. This is the world of Arsenal on the internet; it was mostly balderdash and stuff that irritates.

We’ll deal with the balderdash first.

You know those folks who claim to have insider knowledge and say things like:

“I’ve got huge news about Arsenal. Will tell you all in 3 days. It’s a mega exclusive.”

They get right up my arse. They really do. I know, I know – allowing anything that’s said online to wind you up is essentially an act of monumental futility. Where possible I try to just ignore it, but sometimes I can’t. People like those I mentioned – I’m not going to name names – really are the worst kind; parasitic individuals hoping to further their ridiculously bloated profiles by suckering fans in with spurious dross.

The latest bit of muck is about Arsene Wenger meeting with Robin van Persie’s agent to discuss a move back to The Emirates over the summer. It’s a load of old poppycock. It really is f**king stupid. In fact, I’m almost ashamed of myself for giving it the time of day. No – I am ashamed of myself.

Sometimes stories like that are so mendacious that, against any better judgement I might have, I react and discuss them. What irks me most about the story is how something so utterly silly gets the kind of exposure I could only dream of. Making stuff up about transfers if a sure fire way to get hits if you have a blog. The best line contained within is about the price tag – does anyone honestly think Arsene Wenger would pay £29m for an injury-prone 31-year-old he sold two years ago for £24m? That’s completely insane, yet it’s been lapped up by almost every media outlet.

Moving on.

Elsewhere, we had good old Jose Mourinho up to his usual trick, showing the world just how much of a tw*t one man is capable of being. Without any provocation I can find, he took a bizarre swipe at Arsene in the press, branding him a “specialist in failure“.

Mourinho is a tw*t. You know it, I know it, the whole world knows it. There’s absolutely no surprise he’s said something like that. These things happen in football. If you ramp up the tension between two rivals in the press then, inevitably, one will bite at the other. The British media like to make angry dogs angrier and them release them onto each other. Sad, but that’s the way things go.

I don’t especially care what Mourinho has to say, I never have. He’s just a darling of the papers because his controversial remarks can be printed and glean great circulation. That’s all it is. As Charlie Brooker once said of taunting Jeremy Clarkson: “It’s like pouring w*nker fuel into a pr*ck engine”.

Lastly today, some news that is actually pertinent. Santi Cazorla has suffered a bout of illness and is wrapped up in bed  – that image is so adorable; I bet he has a racing car bed with a enormous teddy bear on it. He’ll miss the Liverpool game, but The Flame does return to the squad to break some bones. Arsene has hinted he’ll rotate slightly with Bayern Munich in mind. Tomorrow I’ll be previewing that game in full.

Until then, why not drop me a comment below with your thoughts on the two stories. Is there any circumstance in which you would welcome back Robin van Persie back to Arsenal, or would you prefer he be shot into the moon for his slights against the Club? I’m firmly in the latter camp.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

Category: Arsenal
  • LeBigMac says:

    Latter camp but the sun as it might hurt more.

    February 15, 2014 at 9:10 am
  • Fred says:

    Mourihno is just a gay dude attracted to a straight guy who’s giving him no attention whatsoever and is getting frustrated causing him to constantly attention whore.

    February 15, 2014 at 9:24 am
  • seanthum says:

    Doubt Wenger would splash a lot of money on van Persie. Buy him back at a cut-price I wouldn’t mind, but it certainly would be damaging to the locker room harmony. But would United sell their top goalscorer cheap? Ah well.

    February 15, 2014 at 9:26 am
  • n11gooner says:

    Rvprick can fuck off. Hes made his bed and he can fucking lie in it with moyes and they can both cuddle up and think about alex ferguson

    February 15, 2014 at 9:55 am
  • joe says:

    If Arsene Wenger is not a specialist in failure, he should prove to the world, after 8yrs of trophiless season, he is throwing another chance away. 31days of opportunity to strenghting the team, no action in the transfer market. Indeed he is a glorious failure, a shame and he give chance for parrot(Mouriho) to be qualifying with this. Arsenal fans all over the World are ashame.

    February 15, 2014 at 9:57 am
  • dev says:

    come on.. you know deep down Mourinho is absolutely right.. ..he is arrogant because he is a winner unlike the perennial loser

    February 15, 2014 at 10:28 am
  • Highbury Spy says:

    I agree with Mourinho. Wenger is a total failure. If we dont win anything this season it will be 10 years without a trophy. Its Wenger who fails every year and with £140 million in the bank which could’ve been used to strengthen our squad for the title challenges ahead, Wenger should walk away if he fails again this year. To have that amount of money in the bank and not at least try and replace Walcott’s pace and goals is gross incompetence. Wenger is treating us like idiots!

    February 15, 2014 at 10:45 am
  • Admir says:

    Hello, James.

    I’d summarize your questions in one answer: Rusty van Prick should join Big Mouthinho in the summer. RvP would get a chance to become first player to play under (see what I did here?) Wenger, Ferguson and Mourinho while the big-mouthed cretin would get a world-class striker. That one might be in cards given that Mourinho said that “we will see in the summer why Chelsea didn’t sign a striker in January”. RvP’s move shouldn’t command a fee higher than 15 million pounds.

    February 15, 2014 at 11:18 am
  • Leroy says:

    Moon’s too close, how about we send him to mars ?

    February 15, 2014 at 11:58 am
  • mav361 says:

    Shot at dawn with his last meal being a huge portion of humble pie and screen it on pay per view …………

    That’s 15 quid I would willingly pay up, no worries

    February 15, 2014 at 1:36 pm
  • Rob says:

    I actually like Mourinho just because he’s a bit of a twat at times, and I find him a source of perpetual amusement, the key to this is not to take what he says too seriously, that way you don’t end up getting all wound up by him, as this is what he’s trying to achieve..I think he made a good point though Wenger has become a bit of a failure specialist in recent years especially when success seems to ONLY be measured in Silverware.. 8 years without winning fuck all is a very long time for a club of Arsenal’s stature and Wenger has to shoulder much of the blame for this.. We might end our barren spell this season but in the last few weeks the same old doubts are creeping back in to haunt us, tomorrow’s FA Cup game against Liverpool will tell us a lot about our current squad of players, but if we perform the same way as we did against Man United on Wednesday we won’t be in the draw for the 6th round, and I believe the FA Cup is our best chance of winning something this season, as I don’t see enough leadership and mental toughness in this current Arsenal team to take us to the premier league title.. I hope I’m wrong of course, but 8 years of serial failure has taken it’s toll on this particular life long gooner..

    February 15, 2014 at 4:48 pm
  • Joy says:

    Hi James! Got to hear your voice for thr first tym on goonersphere. Nice voice I must say. As for resent issues at hand? No comments for now. I’m yet to get over that 5-1 defeat. Later rockstar!

    February 15, 2014 at 9:54 pm

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