Wojciech Szczesny Doesn’t Have Any Friends…

“I have at least two friends”

Morning, you scrumptious little rascals.

Welcome to glorious Sunday morning – a morning in which I’m afforded the luxury of not working. Once this post is completed, the joys of trudging around various home improvement outlets awaits me. I’m looking to treat myself to a decorative plant of some description. Yes, folks – my life is THAT crazy.

With that hedonistic pursuit in mind, proceedings will be kept to a minimum today as the throes of excitement truly have me overwhelmed. I’m picturing what lies ahead right now; the tension of selecting the correct decorative plant that turns to sweet joy once the correct choice is made; the ecstasy of queuing for payment; the haunting beauty of wrestling with a f**king plant as I attempt to fit it in the boot of my car; the startled passers-by mumbling with disapproval as I pepper the air with obscenities; the list of delights is endless.

However, now is the time reserved for Arsenal chatter, so it is precisely that I shall serve. 

Having said it what feels like a thousand times already; the international break makes for a tedious array of news. Unless you glean great pleasure from wading through speculative dross constructed by sites eager to lure you in, there’s not a whole lot to pique interest. Often I look across media outlets and ponder, “bloody hell, how am I going to fit all this into one post?” Today is one of those opposite days where I feel the need to fill the first 300 words with irrelevant blathering about plants and myself just to ensure I have a relatively substantial piece.

I’m doing it right now, rattling on like a stuffy old urchin when you’ve all come here to read Arsenal news and opinion. I shan’t apologise, however, if you’re a regular you’re accustomed to this sh*t by now. I get to my point eventually, the journey there can be a touch meandering.

The one piece of news that caught my eye today is about our two keepers – specifically Szczesny’s reaction to having some bonafide competition at the club. He had these words to say about new arrival, David Ospina:

“I feel confident of being No.1 but I know I can’t let myself play a few bad games.

“I know Ospina’s ambitions don’t end at sitting on the bench and clapping his hands while watching me play.

“He is a nice guy. In a sporting sense, he is a suitable player at a suitable club. But it’s easier for me just in one aspect: I do not feel sorry for him.

“I do not think ‘he’s my friend’ as I thought about Fabian. I was convinced Lukasz deserved to play, but not at my expense.”

Interesting choice of words, “I don’t feel sorry for him”. Words that I’m certain will be taken alarmingly out of context should I delve into the tabloids. I imagine there will be headlines such as:

Sczzesny taunts rival and declares feud between the two.

Or something like:

Szczesny SLAMS Ospina as sworn enemy and vows to destroy him and everything he stands for.

The truth is, I think a healthy rivalry between our keepers is a good thing. From the little I’ve seen of him play, Ospina looks to be a very able shot stopper and certainly capable of usurping Szczesny should our Polish friend hit a patch of dodgy form. None of us can predict how he’ll adapt to the rigours of Premiership football, but it appears to me he has the correct characteristics to do so with ease.

As it stands, however, I would suggest only a superhuman display from Ospina in training would result in him being selected over Szczesny as long as the latter retains form. During the past couple of years we’ve had a very consistent No1 between the sticks – although, I’m waiting for the day his casual antics receiving a back pass blows up in his face. You just know it’s going to happen sooner or later.

Opsina’s arrival and the legitimacy of his claim for the No1 spot will push Szczesny further and that is exactly what he needs. Having the person pushing you for that place “not be a friend” helps also. As with Fabianski, I expect Ospina to start regularly in the cup competitions and the odd Champions League game should be have already qualified. If he puts in some good performances in those fixtures then the fight for the ‘keepers jersey could get interesting.

That’s all for today, folks. The comments section eagerly awaits below and is itching to be written upon by you. Let me know your thoughts of the day. I shall endeavour to be back with more tomorrow.

Until then, and as always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

4 Comments

  1. Ray from Norfolk, Virginia

    Raul,
    I advise you to get a cactus plant for the following reasons:
    -Little watering is needed; you will save a lot on your water bill.
    -Pretend to hurt yourself buying it, and the obscenities are justified.
    -The young ladies always dig young men endowed with a big cactus.
    -Can be used as a giant suppository on a Sp*ds fan during an argument.
    -A perfect prop when you reenact scenes from Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

    Reply
    1. James 'Raul' Stokes (Post author)

      @Ray: All excellent points. I’ll take them on board.

      Reply
  2. Admir

    Szczesny has given a statement regarding this media crap at his official Facebook-page. As cheeky as Woj (no, I don’t mean Hodgson) can be.

    Reply
  3. Vaibhav Ailawadi

    Hilarious James, as usual .
    Though you may want to stay away from them cacti. Nasty things they are.

    Reply

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