Yes, yes, ya’ll – another ‘dope’ Armchair Gooner rap for the 2k-thizzle.

Yo, yo, yo. Microphone check 123… errr…. Keyboard check?

Morning, homiez.

This will be the last time I do one of these. This is an Arsenal blog, and should be informative to the reader, and not an excuse for me to indulge my childishness and foolishness. Well, it should also be fun, but things get tired if you do them too often, and I prefer to go out on something close to a high before abuse and accusations of tedium are thrown my way.

Without further ado – Yo DJ, drop something special!

Welcome to Friday, and the news done my way. Reports are in abundance on some fronts, so you need to take heed to what I say.

If there’s a degree of sanity, folks appear to have misplaced it. Let’s face it –  Higuain might be in stasis,  so on a nightly basis Arsenal are linked to an unsightly racist.

Deal done? –  This summer can Arsenal seal a stunner? He’ll never be a Real Gunner. Yo – Pool’s squealer aint no ethereal creature like Jules Wheeler. Can’t put it to bed, though. The deal’s just not dead, yo. Those with the cred know,  on Le Grove even Pedro said so.

Next up it’s Bendtner that I’ll focus on. Who knows what that bloke is on? I can’t wait until that dope is gone. Yo Nicklas; you’re average, not collectable like Pokemon.

Drop your wages, or no one’s going to peek-at-you. Take the bleakest view, realise you’re not in the elitist few. Hear what I speak, it’s true –  it’d be nice if you left in a week or two. I’d hate you to be up Shit Creek without the tools to paddle through.

You don’t want the Gooners to be mad at you. Good moments? Yeah –  we’ve had a few. Okay, you fucked it up in the Camp of Nou. But right on cue, you hit the winner against Spurs, and that’ll do.

I’m not a hater, or slater. Just a truth stater. I hate to deflate ya, you have to move sooner or later. No Gooner debater sees a place at the Club for a spooner shot placer, given all the chances we create ya.

You’re just hum-drum, and now I’m done, son. This is my last rap, and it’s been a fun run. I’ve left the dumb numb, from here to London. I can’t be outdone, you’ll not find someone – even Timony Stizzle AKA Tim Stillman.

You know how I end things, I don’t mean to disparage. Thanks for reading, you beautiful people born out of marriage.

9 Comments

  1. cupsui

    Wow! All I can do Jim is stand and applaud. Well done ol’ chap

    Reply
  2. Kensi

    You are not rapper!!!

    Reply
  3. Arsene

    Very very good James!!

    I am impressed.

    Reply
  4. Jessy

    What a brilliant post. Well done. No one has done anything like this.

    The Bendtner lines made me smile.

    Reply
  5. the mighty karim

    Big Up !

    Reply
  6. Ade

    I see a similarity between Wenger and Bendtner (names even rhyme). They both have a problem with reality.

    We can’t sign new players because Wenger (the economics professor) can’t deal with the reality of market forces. He wants to pay what he wants for someone else’s product when the market has put a value on that product that is way different than Wenger’s value. It’s like going into a Porsche dealership and offering to pay Kia prices for one of their cars. That deal is not gonna happen.

    We can’t move the useless players because Wenger pays them too much money and the market values them way less than Wenger.

    Problem is that neither Bendtner nor Wenger are going to change anytime soon. Their egos say they are smarter than everyone else.

    There has to be someone in that organization to force these fools’ hands in facing reality.

    Reply
    1. menacegooner

      surely theres another post more suitable for your comment mate, everyones having a laugh and your just bein a whining bitch

      Reply
  7. GTID

    Good article, nice rhymes

    Reply
  8. Veer

    Nice rap! Is that Eminem from 8 mile?

    Reply

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