Arsenal entice epic £75m trio of starlets in story that is completely untrue.

“Use the word ‘swoop’ one more damn time…”


With the international break an unwelcome and tedious affair, I’ve recently been at a loss for topics to discuss. There’s only so much of my ramblings the information-hungry amongst you can take, so in the interest of being a public servant – of sorts –  I’ve spared you that. However, I can’t stay away for long. Such is my affinity for this avenue of mine, absence only makes the heart grow fonder.

By now, you’ve probably read the title. I’ve seen a lot of similar ones about recently, and none of them are as honest as mine. I shan’t be including a made-up story to accompany it, as I’ve neither the time or the inclination to do so. However, it is a rather nice segway into what I’m intending to blather about; transfers.

The January window is a lot like Christmas; people start talking about it incessantly in November. Out there the humble reader is overwhelmed by misinformation and folks more intent upon luring you into a website that has simply made stuff up. There’s a veritable smorgasbord of sites set up to do exactly that. So, finding anything remotely resembling fact is an impossibility.

That’s usually the reason I try to avoid talking about signings and what-not, although, ignoring the subject matter entirely does take an enormous chunk of potential subject matter away. However, I thought I’d discuss the potential players we could go after in January.

First and foremost; I seriously doubt Arsene will spend a huge amount of cash. Call me a pessimist if you so desire – I’m not – but, given the limited options at this time of the year, I imagine we’re looking at a loan deal and nothing more. We do need a striker, but not necessarily a huge name to come in and usurp Olivier Giroud.

I find it baffling how some still find fault with the Frenchman’s contributions. I’ve recently started to use the ‘League Of Your Own’ generator developed by bwin. It’s a handy tool for those of us how like to apply ‘what if?’ scenarios to football debates. Anyone who doubts Olivier Giroud’s contribution to Arsenal this season should take a peek at the table without his goals and assists thus far – you can see that here.

Just goes to show, doesn’t it?

Given Arsene’s penchant for unearthing rough diamonds, I’ve this sneaky suspicion we’ll find ourselves welcoming a player few of us would have expected. If we spend big in the same manner we did with Ozil, it’ll be in the summer. Names like Suarez and Lewandowski are wonderful ideas, but ultimately hugely unlikely. When you take into account how many of the top strikers – Suarez aside – will be cup-tied for the Champions League, I don’t see real investment without the blank canvas of the off season.

Bu that’s not to say we can’t do a good deal and strengthen the squad.  I’m not sure how keen I am on him as a player, but the rumour that strikes me as having an iota  of possibility is this regarding Alexandre Pato. Arsene is alleged to be a fan, and the Brazilian could be available on loan, or at a relatively cut price £10m. I can’t say I’ve watched him play too often for AC Milan or current club, Corinthians. I’m sure he’s a very talented footballer, but the immediate point I’d raise is how quickly he’d adapt to the rigours of English football. The Premiership is a tough nut to crack, and twinkle-toed Brazilians find that out the second a lumbering oaf of a centre back ploughs through them on a cold February evening.

So, boys ‘n’ girls, what do you think? Realistically, who is our most likely signing? Let me know your thoughts in the comments and don’t forget to have a look at League Of Your Own – you can tinker until your hearts content, removing everything from tap-ins to penalties from every player in the Premiership. Who knows; perhaps you can make a decent case for Arsenal needing to recruit in other areas on the pitch.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

5 thoughts on “Arsenal entice epic £75m trio of starlets in story that is completely untrue.”

  1. What we need is a pl pot this season cuptied or not just a decent striker to get us the goals to jettison us further up the should be the next season thing

  2. I like the idea of pato as he offers something we don’t have, however I do remember reading his work rate isn’t anything impressive. I do agree the signing wont be a liverpoolian goat. I like the idea of getting vela back, hes had time away to improve on his defects. What about gyan (that guy who from ghana who plays in france Marseilles I think)?

  3. The Pato guy isn’t good enough,you don’t have to go further than wikipedia which tells of his unimpresive goal scoring rate of 1 goal to every 4/5 games…extremely poor..and his a bit of a party freak…so london will devour him…

  4. not really keen on pato. somewhat disappeared off the european radar after a spell in milan. perhaps there are good reasons for that. his career has also been hampered by injuries if i’m getting facts correct. plus, as raul has already said, it’s difficult to adjust in the premiership.

    why not raid villa for benteke or even dzeko or hernandez from man u (doubt they’ll return the favour to us for selling that dutch skunk to them). but i’ll be happy with anyone of the three. all of them will be more than just benchwarmers, and they know they have a great chance to play regular football at arsenal.

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