Arsenal Might Be Utter Toilet, But Here Are 5 Reasons To Be Cheerful.

Arsenal 0-3 Manchester City

Afternoon, folks…

Not having the opportunity to post either last night after the game or this morning has given me a little time to digest what happened in yesterday’s Carabao Cup final. After many arduous moments of sweaty deliberation and deep personal revelation, I’ve established that Arsenal are utter, absolute toilet.

The defeat itself doesn’t hurt. Man City are the best team in the country by.. well…. a country mile. There is no real surprise that they beat us because they’re far better than us. Deep down, we all only really hoped for a win as opposed to expecting one. What hurts more than anything else was the limp, disinterested sh*t-show Arsenal put on; a masterclass in terrible Sunday league defending and losing a game before it even began.

If you want Arsenal’s problems in a microcosm, look not further than Sergio Aguero’s opening goal. From the goalkeeper’s kick, one high ball took apart our entire team. Mustafi’s performances this season have been pretty much hit and miss. He’s either the peak Franco Baresi or totally f*cking useless and he was certainly the latter yesterday.

The mistakes he made leading up to that goal were something with which a child would be ashamed. That might sound hyperbolic, but it’s true. You’ll have all seen the goal by now; the pathetic hands-in-the-air protestation because he failed to get goal-side to Aguero and was brushed off with a minimal nudge leaving one of the most dangerous strikers in the Premiership a clear run at goal. From a f*cking goal kick.

Perhaps – PERHAPS – by the letter of the law it was technically a foul, but that uncertainty shouldn’t detract from our centre-back, a full German international, making such a poor error in a cup final. He has to be stronger and at least be on the correct side of the player.

But he was hardly to blame for the whole defeat. Not one player came away with credit. It was universally terrible and certainly warrants a severe inquest. Change at Arsenal needs to be made because these performances aren’t one-offs or freak occurrences; they’ve become a worrying normality.

Tomorrow I think I’ll write about what can possibly happen to change things around. Now, I’m a bit tired of all the misery and bitterness. Instead of adding to all that, I thought I’d set myself the task of finding 5 reason to be cheerful in the coming months. That shouldn’t be too hard…

So, without further ado, here we go:

  1. The season is almost over. We’ve only 11 more league games to go and probably only 2 more in the Europa league (pessimistically). Should we exit the Europa League to Milan, then we can write the season off as a massive disaster and start planning to rebuild in the summer.
  2. Our transfer dealing in January at least point towards a readiness to invest in that rebuilding. We allowed a few players to leave and brought in quality to replace them Aubameyang and Mkhitaryan are great players and there is surely more to come from both. We’ve a new team dedicated to recruitment so we can look towards this with hope.
  3. Errrr….. Getting tough now. As the season heads into the remaining quarter, the weather starts to get nicer. Admittedly, it’s bloody freezing here in the South West, but that’s only going to last a couple more weeks until spring.
  4. There isn’t really much more that can go wrong at the stage – I say that hoping I don’t tempt fate.
  5. Cake is always nice. When the game finished last night, I thought about the varieties of cake I could consume to make the misery of defeat subside. Fruit cake, Victoria sponge, Battenberg, Bakewell tart (technically not a cake, but contains frangipane in the centre). The choices are endless and it’s a better thought process than trying to come to terms with Arsenal being so bloody half-arsed in an important cup final. Theres a slogan there; “Forget Arsenal, Eat Cake!”

That’s about all I have. It’s hardly made me cheer up typing it, so I’ll assume none of you reading this are performing cartwheels of delight.

That’ll do for today, I think. I’ll be back tomorrow with more. Until then, why not tell me you thoughts in the comments section.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

Soundtrack to this post: 

Soulwax – ‘Conditions Of A Shared Belief’ 

5 thoughts on “Arsenal Might Be Utter Toilet, But Here Are 5 Reasons To Be Cheerful.”

  1. Good, no, VERY good article. I was born about 300 yards from THOF but I couldn’t even drag myself round to my son-in-law’s house house to watch the match yesterday so I listened to the slaughter (match) on my IPad.

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