Super, mega, gargantuan deal for a striker in January.

“i see bullsh*t on the horizon, approaching fast”

Morning, you lovely people, you.

Today I thought I’d plunge my grubby paws into that oh-so murky of realms; the January transfer window. Not entirely certain why I am bothering, mind you. It’s one enormous farrago of bilge and silliness out there, and the last thing we need is another idiot putting his two pennies worth into the melting pot. Of course, you all know that I am that idiot, so let’s proceed.

I’ve seen one of two rumours that piqued my curiousity. Let’s be honest here; we all know the vast majority of what we read regarding transfers is utter b*llocks, don’t we. Yet, we persist, and since we signed Mesut Ozil, we persist what that extra bit of hope of them actually coming to fruition. I’m no different. Like many that frequently state how mendacious it all is, I can’t help but have a look once in a while.

Real Madrid’s goalscoring juggernaut, Karim Benzema, is the name frequently mentioned. He’s kinda like Patrick Kluivert and David Trezeguet before him; perpetually linked with a move to Arsenal. Will it happen? Should it happen? I’d be offering you all a resounding “NO” on both counts. For starters, I don’t think he’d be an improvement on Giroud. He’s undoubtedly a good player and capable of scoring goals, but I am totally enamoured with our Frenchman and wouldn’t want to see him replaced.

Loan deals, now those are what I consider to be our most likely bet. Short of slapping an absolute fortune on the table at Liverpool for Luis Suarez and hoping they’ll be stupid enough to sell their top striker in January for a second time, we have limited options on the purchasing front. I’d go as far as saying Suarez would be the only viable option to buy because of his lack of any Champions League cup-tie.  Seeing as there’s about as much chance of that happening as there is me becoming Britain’s next prime Minister, It’s barely worth discussing the merits.

Loan players are something of a hit-and-miss. It could be to our advantage to secure the short-term services of a player eager to impress his international manager with a World Cup coming next summer. It could be, but I can’t see anyone that eager to impress opting for a move to Arsenal where they’d have to compete for a start, instead of being guaranteed games.

So, if we do bring in a striker, and it is a loan deal as we all expect, we’re looking at it being either a seasoned professional itching for a little extra game time somewhere else, or a player so far down the rungs of selection at his current club, that he sees a deputy’s position elsewhere as a better alternative. Not exactly the ideal criteria…

Then there’s Edison Cavani. Hmmm. I think that might be the most unlikely tale I’ve heard in sometime. That’s about as likely as me having ‘relations’ with Mila Kunis, Penelope Cruz and Scarlet Johanssen all in the same night. At once. Covered in jam. With Big Ted filming the whole thing.

No chance.


He’s a great player is Mr Cavani, he’d probably bang them in for fun supplied by Ramsey, Cazorla, Wilshere and Ozil, but we’d struggle to afford whatever obscene salary PSG are paying him.  At that’s assuming the French club would be willing to sell a player that’s barely been there 5 minutes. The whole thing is so bloody ridiculous I’d not be shocked if it was true.

The one player I do think there is an element of possibility around is Alexandre Pato, and it’s alleged we’ve tried to get him with an £8m bid to Corinthians. The reason I sense elements of truth is because he’s exactly the type of player Arsene could rejuvinate. Since leaving AC Milan, he’s slipped off the radar somewhat and is currently flirting with obscurity. He’s had his problems, but buried somewhere in there is a very good player indeed.  If we could snatch him up for a relatively small fee, then the risk is minimal, and it would certainly pay off should Arsene manage to coax his best football out of him.

Our fair manager has denied his interest, but I’ve heard him do that on a few occasions, only to announce something entirely the opposite days later – Mikel Arteta, for example. We shall just have to wait and see what happens. Try not to get yourselves too frenzied about the whole thing. It’s far from inconceivable we’ll sign no one at all.

That’s all for this morning, folks. You know what comes next. Head to the comments and answer this simple question: Who do you think is the most likely bet for a January striker? Not who you want, but who you consider a realistic option. I’ll look forward to reading a few of your thoughts.

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

12 thoughts on “Super, mega, gargantuan deal for a striker in January.”

  1. James, how about Robert Lewandowski?

    1.His contract expires in June 2014.

    2.He wants to leave.

    3.Borussia Dortmund don’t stand well neither in the Bundesliga nor in the Champions’ League.

    4.They have to cash him in this January or they’ll lose him for free.

    5.He would be a perfect striker for our type of football.

    6.Szczesny might persuade him to join us.

    Another option is Ezequiel Lavezzi. He’d like to have more playing time than he has had at PSG so far in order to be prepared for the World Cup.

    Pato? I guess he’d form a great partnership with Abou Diaby so – no.

  2. Don’t you ever look beyond the world-class category? There are many in the market who are quite good and will improve the squad. Not CL tied either.

    Leandro Damaio
    Max Kruse

    1. Max Kruse has only just signed for Borussia Monchengladbach from Freiburg but I suppose a huge bid might get him! Whilst not being a fan of Leandro Damaio he is likely to move this winter, but the Sp*rs link is stronger. Michy Batshuayi rumours are increasing and a strong bid around £8m might be too tempting for Liege, he won’t be going to Chelski or the Northern Arabs and TV5 might help with the move. This is more likely if anyone is to join. Fits the Wenger model. We are also very closely linked with Antonio Sanabria but that’s one for the future and also continues the “lets steal fcB’s best young talent” model that we regularly pursue which is hugely entertaining each window!

      Can’t see anyone joining at this point to be honest. I can see a deal with Schalke in the summer between Podolski and Draxler plus cash!

    2. I wouldn’t mind if we sign Kruse – his finishing reminds me of Podolski – but I’d rather have his compatriot Miro Klose in January – an intelligent world-class finisher that would take the burden off Giroud’s back.

      One surprising suggestion might be Nikica Jelavić. He is a powerful striker that can score goals and create them for his team-mates. When we are at strikers that have lost their mojo from 2011-12, perhaps Papiss Cisse wouldn’t be a bad purchase.

  3. I really dig the idea of Alexandre Pato…he is so quick and he offers better work rate and link up play than Theo Walcott,who I think will never fulfil his wish to lead the line. Would offer something totally different from OG,and our midfield would have more of a breather from the opposition defence squeezing high up the pitch. Really wish it would happen.

  4. What exact would be the role of a new striker we sign in January? Do we need someone to replace Giroud should he get *touching wood* injured or needs a rest, do we need someone with complimentary qualities to the French tank and so would play alongside him (at the expense of one of our amazing midfield maestros), are we looking for someone who is an improvement on Giroud and want to create real competition upfront or someone who checks all three (or at least two) of the listed criterions. For me it only makes sense to go into the market for a striker if we want to improve on Giroud (currently my favourite player in our team) with the possibility of him also being able to play alongside him without disrupting the formation too much (that is, in place of Cazorla, Ozil or Theo). If we can get someone who fulfils these criteria great, otherwise we should stick to our existing resources of Giroud, Poldi, Theo and Bendtner/Sanogo and continue to keep doing what we’ve been doing so far.

  5. yeah, if we are looking for someone to relieve giroud, why not lets go back for carlos vela, he’s only going to cost us 4m, groomed by arsenal so wont be new to our system, not cup-tied and has been delivering goals for his present club.

    1. yup i would love him,i like a striker that can compliment giroud and different than him(bit of dribbler and faster) so we can change the game at any point of the time and El sha is exactly the same.

  6. dont think pato is good option for us.He is prone to injury,also he had problems outside the pitch at milan and currently in brazil where crowd booed him for playing badly.He would be bendtner part 2 imo.I would like loan signing or lewy,mureil or porto striker jackson martinez

  7. Take your pick akpom gernaby chuck aneke the other youngster I keep forgting his name due to long absence but recently showed up and scoring we still have bendtner ox coming back

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