The Chronicles of Draxler. Draxler Does Dallas. RoboDraxler. The Draxler Identity.

Arsenal fans approached rumour in different ways.

Morning, folks.

There may be a storm brewing. If you take a quick glance out of the nearest window, the horizon might show an enormous cloud of sh*t headed in the direction of your humble abode. This almighty cumulonimbus of faeces is a peculiar sight brought about by the interminable transfer rumour and all it’s associated bickering.

You see, folks… We get linked to a player. Some folks like the idea. Those folks quickly begin to prefer the hypothetical player to the ones we actually have. Apoplexy is soon aimed towards current players as supposed players are seen as better. The more thoughtful and loyal jump to the defence of the former and are seen to be casting aspersions on the latter. All hell breaks loose and an enormous cloud of sh*t forms across the globe engulfing all and sundry. To paraphrase Calvin Harris; “Eat. Sleep. Argue. Sh*t Cloud. Repeat”. Arsenal fans certainly enjoy a good old fashioned spat.

Currently, the Interwebs have erupted with possibilty and tetchy folks. We might – ‘MIGHT’ FOR GOD’S SAKE –  be lining up a bid for German sensation, Julian Draxler. The man making all the headlines is said be be a long-term target for our dapper Manager, and is seen as another attacking midfielder we could convert to play up front. The same article I’ve highlighted also says we’re keen to turn him into the next Robin van Persie. I’d sooner that wasn’t the case. Another player that spends 7 years injured, plays 1 exceptional season, releases a snide and bitchy letter ‘for the fans’ and then f*cks off for a rival of ours isn’t something I’d particularly like to see. Nope, definitely don’t like that idea.

To be perfectly honest, I’ve little or no idea how much of the gossip is true. Reputable souls and the alleged ITK will have you believe there’s limitless possibility.  For all I know, the scenes behind closed doors at Arsenal are of frenzied activity and countless bids. However, my wonderful readers, it could all be an enormous cloud of sh*t – a cloud so sh*t-laced that we’re all going to wish we had not started talking about it in the first place. At this moment in time, I wouldn’t care to wager which way it will go.

I try to deal in absolutes here. I don’t know as much as some, but more than others. I’m not affiliated with a senior member of Arsenal’s biscuit distribution staff and I have no sources with their ears pressed up against locked doors. I’m a guy in Bristol sat behind a keyboard with a bear, writing hogwash. Truthfully, I know bugger all about the transfer situation other than what I read on websites.

Julian Draxler could be on his way to Arsenal. He could not be. He could be the best player we ever sign. He could be bloody useless and take to playing the harpsichord for spare change on a dimly lit corner of London. We can’t know – the endless misinformation prevents anyone from ever being able to do so. At times like these, having a little faith in our manager’s choices and the players we do have is what’s important. A new addition could do wonders for our title push, but no new additions won’t spectacularly derail it.

Opprobrium and such things only serve to cloud things further. The internet is full of faceless and nameless folks pushing egos and veneers. My advice is simple; ignore those who dispute to push their own agendas and focus on the good people. Don’t allow yourself to get embroiled in it as no good will come from it. Kick back and wait; what happens, happens and it can’t happen any other way.

That’s me all done for today. Work awaits me so I must dash. I shall leave you with a quick suggestive glance towards the comments section below in the hope you’ll drop me a line. I go all gooey inside when you take the time to respond. Who wouldn’t want to be responsible for that reaction from a grown man?

As always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

16 thoughts on “The Chronicles of Draxler. Draxler Does Dallas. RoboDraxler. The Draxler Identity.”

  1. Your right James. Go with the flow. We need more players for the final push, but we ain’t doing too bad at the moment anyhoo.

  2. You’ve lost a regular reader in me this morning……..on many occasions I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt when you regularly write tosh-I sometimes wonder what goes on in that head of yours….and as for the ‘jam stunt’….Jesus.
    No doubt some of your regulars will jump to your defence and give me some kind of abuse-but, in all seriousness, give up on the blog writing because you’re well below useless.
    Get yourself over to A cultured left foot…..that’s how it’s done.That’s where I’m off to now…….and I ain’t returning.

    1. @jonny gunner: I’m a touch confused. Am I supposed to be upset? You’re a prime example of the folks I described in post. Just leave, don’t tell me. No one cares what you think.

      I’d rather be “well below useless” than the same as everyone else.

      1. Actually, I like to read this blog despite the fact that I haven’t learned anything that I didn’t know before (hell, I’d found out that you shouldn’t make silly wagers even before James gave me a puke reflex every time someone mentions “jam”, “strawberry” or “strawberry jam”!) but it’s unique style of writing that keeps me here.

        So, James, keep up.

    2. Go to hell you bastard, this is one of the best arsenal blogs on the net and if you don’t like it you can leave I’m sure James has enough readers to do withou a jackass like you

      1. @Veer and @Admir: I appreciate the words of support, but there is absolutely no need. Comments like Jonny’s little attempt are to be expected when you’re blogging. I pay them no attention, so neither should you.

        I wouldn’t dream of changing. If you’re not upsetting someone, you’re not doing it right.

        PS – Jonny, if you’ve broken your word; go f**k yourself, you sad, embittered, vitriolic little nobody 🙂

  3. Top post. I am nearly a real Draxler expert because I saw half a Youtube compilation yesterday. I can only hope that if AW has seen the other half he will know what to do, but I am surprised he waits so long for Twitter to tell him who to sign.

  4. For all we know, AW might not even be considering the Draxler dude at alllll. Even if you don’t say James, I never waste my God given tym reading about some sh*t transfer gossip. AW is a highly unpredictable man. You’ll never know what’s going on in that vegetarian brain of his.

  5. You are right, everytime i open my laptop, the inside of my screen gets fogged up with the moist condensation of freshly laid logs; it must be the transfer window! Arsenal seem to get linked to any player, especially attacking-minded ones. If we get Draxler, geat, but honestly, how could anyone even claim to know that we are not only going to buy the player, but also train and use him as a striker?! Ridiculous. Your articles seem more grounded and less senationalist than many, so keep up the good work . As my great-grandmother was fond of saying ” Haters gon hate”

  6. Not needed thank you, thats insane money for say a prospect, he is all dribble and wobble, we want him to be like Hazard but may end up being like gervinho, no thank you, definitely not for that money, if we are willing to spend so much, then rather have Reus.

  7. Signing Dracula would be a good addition but no more at this stage. He is the best that Schalke have and will be a good understudy to the Prince but again no more. We have a very full squad with only 4 places potentially available come the summer. We will need a back up keeper if/when Fabianski leaves. We all know that a striker is a priority to support the sexy Frenchman. The other 2 places will be filled in 2015 by: the Ox, Sanogo, Eisfeld, Semi Ajayi, Afobe, Aneke or Yannaris (obviously not all will get a place) but you see the dilemma Le Boss has. That only leaves Diaby’s place in 2015. Dracula will push out one of the up and coming youngsters. That is likely to be Ryo (there are rumours that he could be moved on) In that case the young German would be preferable but is not essential!

    Therefore we won’t be on the market unless the right centre forward and goalkeeper becomes available.

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