Wenger In/Out, Squad Width, Bellerin’s Hair, Dress Shoes, Divebeck And More…

Afternoon, folks.

This international break is such a bore.

When it comes around, and there isn’t much to sink my teeth into, I figure the only intelligent thing I can do before blogging is to put in a call to Twitter. When in doubt, ask about – that is the slightly dubious motto I’ve decided upon this very second. It may or may not stick. Probably not…

So, with that thought in mind, here’s a few of the questions put to me:

Well, Michael, my thoughts on this subject are simple; as a chef, it isn’t something to which I can immediately relate. However, I can certainly understand why it would be annoying as all p*ss. Especially if those swanning about stuffing themselves silly are in charge of projects with time constraints. I can only envisage the spectacular show of fury I’d exhibit should I be waiting for a someone to complete a task, only to find they’re taking the f*cking Mickey with their lunch break.

I going to assume you mean ‘Wenger’ out/in. I’m neither in or out (shake it all about). I’ve always thought of those two extremes in constant loggerheads with one another as essentially equally as bad. Two different sides of the coin is still two sides of the same thing. Neither points of view are particular helpful. It’s just an excuse to argue the toss and irritate others.

An absolute affront to modern society. Along with white jeans, there is no garment that screams, “I am a massive f*cking bellend” more. Maybe pink trouser-shorts.

That’s a tough question to answer. I’d say there’s more than one answer and that answer really depends more on opinion than it does fact. No one can do anything other than speculate what would help us get back into the top 4. Luck will play a decent part in that. But, for the sake of answering your question; I’d say a solid defence. I agree we could use a bit more width when we’re attacking as our ‘wide’ players all favour cutting into the central areas. But I don’t think we’re weak in attack at the moment. If we shore up at the back, we’ll win a lot more games.

I think it would be wrong to suggest Arsenal players haven’t dived in the past. Eduardo did. Pires did. I don’t think our players are as consistently bad as someone like Dele Alli – the horrible little p*ss-bag- but it’s wrong to suggest that it’s somehow different when they do. I mean, I don’t particularly care all that much when one of our players performs the odd dive – like Welbeck undoubtedly did – but it’s not something I’d like to see with any regularity, and if they were to get punished for doing so, then it would be deserved.


That’s the sound of me pondering and stroking my beard. I’d like to say we have the same winning mentality, but I’m not sure I’d be telling the truth. Certainly, there’s a good point o be made that the Club’s culture has changed considerably since we moved from Highbury – whether you feel that’s for better or worse is down to a personal viewpoint. I think the Club – the board – seems more concerned with revenue and global perspective these days, and that’s a sign of the times.

Football has moved on since we left Highbury in many ways and cash rules everything.

Incalculable. There are plenty of hair cartels out there that would happily explode a bus load of nuns to get their hands on those flowing locks.

That’s all your questions, folks. Should you be reading this with access to Twitter and wish to ask me something, then use the handy comments section below and I’ll get around to answering them as soon as possible.

I shall endeavour to return tomorrow with more wondrous blathering.

Until that time, and as always; thanks for reading, you beautiful bastards.

Soundtrack to this post:

Com Truise – ‘Colorvision’

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